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When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State | [Tim Dorsey]

When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State

It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite).
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Publisher's Summary

I’m dreaming of a Serge Christmas...
Palm trees with twinkle lights...
Santa’s big belly protruding over a neon Speedo....

It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.

But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite). While you’re there, skip the lame photo on Santa’s lap - Serge will give you a lap ride you’ll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there’s nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow!

So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

©2011 Tim Dorsey (P)2011 HarperCollinsPublishers

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (165 )
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4.3 (149 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Susan Amery, WI, United States 11-06-11
    Susan Amery, WI, United States 11-06-11

    SuseADoodle - "Audiobook Addict!" - Please disregard my "guided" reviews since it appears that a lot of what I wrote has been chopped off.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "I Don't Know about Joyous but Nutbars REALLY Fits!"

    Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to read the reader reviews -- because I decide to disregard their advice. For instance, many reviewers suggested that a person totally new to the Serge A. Storms series of stories NOT start here. They said to start at the beginning, or at least listen to or read the first novel of the series before this book.

    Well, I decided to ignore that advice and started here.

    Other reviewers complained about the voice the narrator used for Serge. At first, it was a bit annoying, but after a short time I found that it really helped form a visual image of Serge in my mind much better than a less annoying voice would have. (In fact, I have since begun to listen (I'm just about halfway through) to Florida Roadkill and think the un-remarkable Serge voice there really does not help form a mental image of the character.)

    Okay, this story does not include nearly as much Florida history and not as many crazy Floridians as the first novel of the series, but this book might fit into the series the same way the "between the Plums" fit into Janet Evanovitch's Stephanie Plum novels. It really doesn't matter. When Elves Attack is funny and quirky and made me "KNOW" I have to listen to the entire series as soon as possible. So, as soon as the speakers on my laptop spit out "We hope you enjoyed this book," I was at the Audible website to get Florida Roadkill. As soon as part one finished downloading, I started it playing.

    It's going to be very hard to wait for credits to arrive to complete the collection. But ... my local public library doesn't have any of the Serge A. Storms novels available in audio, so ... **sigh** I'll have to be patient.

    While I am waiting, I think I will listen to When Elves Attack at least one more time. :-)

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Todd Littleton, CO, United States 12-12-11
    Todd Littleton, CO, United States 12-12-11 Member Since 2001
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Another Serge smash"

    If you haven't heard the Serge tales, this is probably as good as any to start.As the characters are from other books, you might want to listen to Triggerfish Twist, Stingray Shuffle and some others as well. Dorsey's characters are creative, twisted, and colorful as he takes his swipes at Florida's foibles. Mr. Wyman does his usual superb interpretation. Treat yourself to a wild Christmas present in this book.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    sam Anchorage, AK, United States 11-21-11
    sam Anchorage, AK, United States 11-21-11 Member Since 2004

    sjdickey

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laugh out loud funny"

    "When elves attack" is a laugh out loud story beautifully performed and masterfully crafted. Sometimes even bad guys have good hearts. I could easily cast the movie based on the vivid character descriptions, now if they would just make the movie. My wife loved it as well and we will now purchase several copies for gifts. May not be as good as a "yule log" but I am sure they will be happy anyway.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marg Southern California 05-04-12
    Marg Southern California 05-04-12 Member Since 2010
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    "Serge"
    Any additional comments?

    I love this author and the performance was great. Only problem is, I just can't get over the Joe Peschi voice of Serge.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jere Rock Springs, WY, United States 01-15-12
    Jere Rock Springs, WY, United States 01-15-12 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Serge does the holidays"

    Wow! Tim Dorsey did it again. Non-stop action and hijinks that only Serge and Coleman can do, and in their own way. Many of the quirky characters from Serge's past are here to celebrate the season with this somewhat heartwarming holiday tale. My only complaint is that our time spent with Serge is just not long enough.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    John Madeira Beach, FL, United States 11-27-11
    John Madeira Beach, FL, United States 11-27-11 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "A Serge Storms treat for the Holidays!"

    Serge and Coleman are back for a special little holiday treat! What else is there to say? It's psychopathic vigilante Serge Storms and substance abuse sidekick Coleman putting their particular brand of bizarre spin on the season. Followers of Tim Dorsey's tales will remember Jim and Martha Davenport from Triggerfish Twist and Atomic Lobster. Alas, the poor couple are (again) thrown in the middle of a not-so-fictional modern day economic mess. Serge to the rescue, along with help from the G-Unit Grannies, to sort it all out, eliminate bad guys as only Serge can, and triumph for a Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Francis Westminster, MD, United States 01-02-12
    Francis Westminster, MD, United States 01-02-12 Member Since 2003
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Very good, but not Dorsey's best."
    Would you consider the audio edition of When Elves Attack to be better than the print version?

    N/A


    What did you like best about this story?

    The usual craziness of Serge and Coleman.


    What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?

    Excellent as usual. Does a great job of capturing the bizarre characters.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Elizabeth St. Johns, FL, United States 11-16-11
    Elizabeth St. Johns, FL, United States 11-16-11 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Gotta love Tim Dorsey"

    A good story with enough wit and interesting twists and turns to be a fun read.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tiffany 07-18-14
    Tiffany 07-18-14 Member Since 2014
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    "Serge is my FAVORITE killer of all time!"
    Would you consider the audio edition of When Elves Attack to be better than the print version?

    Wow, that's a hard one. This is actually the first Tim Dorsey novel that I haven't read, but listened to. I had a much different idea of what Serge would sound like, but I liked his interpretation of Serge.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The craziness that is Serge A. Storms, as always. Who knew someone could create such a loveable psychopath!


    What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?

    The use of voices and the wide range he was able to cover. Very talented and enthusiastic.


    Who was the most memorable character of When Elves Attack and why?

    The G-Unit. How they would get rid of the blonde news anchors, priceless! I aspire to be them when I grow up.


    Any additional comments?

    Get as much Tim Dorsey as you can into your life. You'll thank me later.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Zen Flower Williamston, NC, United States 12-25-13
    Zen Flower Williamston, NC, United States 12-25-13 Member Since 2012

    I love my audiobooks! Great for traveling.

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    "I just can't get past the terrible narrator."

    I listened to about four of Dorsey's audiobooks. This one was atrocious and a pain to listen to. I think I listened to the first hour and just could not take it any more. I don't know whether the story is good. A narrator can make the story interesting but this narrator is horrible.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • Peter
    Bridgwater, United Kingdom
    2/15/13
    Overall
    "Chistmas fun"

    I just love this type of book, Tim Dorsey does sex and violence so well.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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