We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
 >   > 
Bite Me: A Love Story | [Christopher Moore]

Bite Me: A Love Story

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup."
Regular Price:$26.60
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Your Likes make Audible better!

'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

OK

Publisher's Summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." (Booklist)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1583 )
5 star
 (868)
4 star
 (448)
3 star
 (170)
2 star
 (50)
1 star
 (47)
Overall
4.4 (801 )
5 star
 (459)
4 star
 (226)
3 star
 (76)
2 star
 (21)
1 star
 (19)
Story
4.5 (805 )
5 star
 (566)
4 star
 (165)
3 star
 (36)
2 star
 (18)
1 star
 (20)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    jeprdy somewhere in the middle 04-11-10
    jeprdy somewhere in the middle 04-11-10 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    16
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    287
    8
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    2
    Overall
    "Abby Normal rocks!"

    This has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard! First, the content is hilarious & I found myself laughing out loud at the most inopportune moments (walking down the isle at the local grocery store, laughing hysterically- alone- does tend to attract some strange looks...) But, the narration is what makes this downright crazy and unforgettable!! I am way too old to be talking like Abby, but am finding myself using key phrases of hers, much to the dismay of my teenager lol. This has to be the best $12 I've ever spent on entertainment! I can't wait to pick up more Christopher Moore titles & pray I can get another Abby Normal fix!!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    A. Toback New York, NY 04-09-10
    A. Toback New York, NY 04-09-10 Member Since 2004

    AnnB

    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    39
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    1
    Overall
    "Spectacular Listen!"

    Christopher Moore's story is hysterically funny and entertaining from beginning to end. Susan Bennett is a fantastic narrator. The combination is an amazing audio book. I can only hope there are more stories to come featuring these characters. Three simply aren't enough!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ann Hankamer Scottsdale, AZ United States 04-08-10
    Ann Hankamer Scottsdale, AZ United States 04-08-10 Member Since 2002
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1099
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    "I'd give it 6 stars if I could!"

    In the almost 20 years since I started "reading" with my ears I've listened to literally hundreds of books, and this is the 1st time I've been moved to write a review. Not only is this the best thing Moore's ever written (and I've heard or read and thoroughly enjoyed all of his books), it is probably the funniest thing I've ever listened to. The writing is crisp, inventive and hysterically clever, and the reader, Susan Bennett, is absolutely brilliant! While I thought all of her character voices were excellent, her rendition of Abbey Normal just about had me rolling on the floor time and again.

    I really cannot say enough about how entertaining this audible book was for me. Don't miss it! If the combination of Mr. Moore's writing and Ms. Bennett's narration doesn't make you laugh out loud, you're deluding yourself about having a sense of humor.

    I sincerely hope Christopher Moore isn't done with this cast of oddballs -- Abbey Normal is now one of my all time favorite literary characters and I would happily listen to any story that includes her distinctive and delightful point of view, especially if she's given voice by Ms. Bennett. Abbey rocks my stripey socks! So, enjoy, people. We could all use a good laugh!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Paul Anthony Bradley Austin, TX United States 04-01-10
    Paul Anthony Bradley Austin, TX United States 04-01-10 Member Since 2003
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    48
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    "Loved it"

    Susan Bennett (the narrator) is a joy to listen to, my only complaint is, the book and reading we SO enjoyable, I finished it in two sittings. I love how Moore brings in characters from other books, you never know who you're going to see again!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    D. L. Weaver 04-01-10 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    6
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    64
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    "A slow start"

    I love Christopher Moore's books."Lamb" is one of my all time favorites.This book is just as enjoyable.At first the "valley girl" narration put me off,but once the storytelling got going it was great fun.Highly recommended.

    6 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Gwendolyn 06-19-12
    Gwendolyn 06-19-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
    34
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    182
    26
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    3
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A New Twist On Vampires"

    I really enjoyed the unusual storyline of this book. But Abby Normal makes the book! I absolutely loved her! I laughed through the whole thing and started looking at the first 2 books in this series. Only one of them seem to have Abby in them, but I plan to buy both anyway.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David Edmonton, AB, Canada 03-28-11
    David Edmonton, AB, Canada 03-28-11 Member Since 2007

    I am an entertainer...so I spend a lot of time on the road. I take my audio seriously. I appreciate great writing and outstanding narration.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    232
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    104
    56
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    35
    0
    Overall
    "Great Story...OutSTANDING Narrator"

    Easily the best Moore romp yet. Wonderful writing, fresh laugh out loud situation. But what really makes the book is Susan Bennett's gifted narration. Probably the best ever...in both this book and "You Suck."

    Outstanding. Irreverent...FUN!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leanna Seattle, WA United States 08-16-10
    Leanna Seattle, WA United States 08-16-10 Member Since 2008

    I love to read, but I am time-limited. Audible allows me to keep up with all my favorite authors while on the hiking trail. Thanks, Audible!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    333
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    820
    115
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    99
    0
    Overall
    "How does he do it?"

    Christopher Moore continues to entertain with his misfit and offbeat vampire series. This installment is largely told from a teenage emo's point of view. I have no idea how he is able to channel a teenage, female emo so well, but thank goodness he can, because it is hilarious listening/reading.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Keith Boca Raton, FL, United States 04-12-10
    Keith Boca Raton, FL, United States 04-12-10 Member Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
    62
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    57
    12
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    2
    0
    Overall
    "Gotta get Moore"

    Christopher Moore is Hilarious! A fun volume that continues the chronicles of the countess Jodi and vampire Flood. Creative presentation from other character perspectives makes this one a treat. Keep em coming. We want Moore!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kimberly Ypsilanti, MI, United States 04-12-10
    Kimberly Ypsilanti, MI, United States 04-12-10 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    208
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    216
    53
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    35
    3
    Overall
    "Another Hit For Moore"

    Another wonderful book by Christopher Moore. His writing just keeps getting better & better. Very funny with characters you will love. The narrator nails Abby's voice. Highly recommend.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 11-20 of 115 results PREVIOUS12312NEXT

    There are no listener reviews for this title yet.

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

Cancel

Thank You

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.