Bite Me

A Love Story

By: Christopher Moore

Narrated by: Susan Bennett

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

May be the best in the series!!!

I loved this one, Abby Normal is irritating and funny, and hopelessly romantic. She romanticizes all of the situations she's in to start. The boys are crazier, the older vampires are meaner, and the antics are wilder. The vampire cat is seriously causing some problems. Whoops, little spoiler, but this book was the best of the three.in crazy, funny and not at all like your typical vampire story. Enjoy, I will definitely re-listen in the future. Susan Bennett did a great job narrating all three. Now I need to read more of Christopher Moore, I was impressed with Abby's perspective and language from a grown male, she was great. It definitely opened the door to more reading/listening as I'm now a new fan of the author.

Bloody brilliant

It kept me enthralled. Content was placed really well and the narrator was fantastic.

Even more Abby Normal than before!

What made the experience of listening to Bite Me the most enjoyable?

The few and so enjoyable Chronicles of Abby Normal diary entries that were the best part of You Suck: A Love Story are much more frequent in this installment of the Bloodsucking Fiends Trilogy. Even the parts that aren't her diary entries are often seen from her perspective and Susan Bennett's amusing voice for the character is the most common narration in this audiobook.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Bite Me?

When Abby gets a tail.

What does Susan Bennett bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The voice of Abby Normal that Susan Bennett does is the most amazing part of the whole Bloodsucking Fiends experience, aside from the hilarious written word that Christopher Moore provides.

If you could rename Bite Me, what would you call it?

The Chronicles of Abby Normal: Evil Bitch Queen of Second Period Biology.

Any additional comments?

Chet the Huge Shaved Cat makes a return appearance in this installment of your favourite vampire love trilogy. ;)

Read By the Voice of Siri

As all the other reviewers have stated, the voice performance by Susan Bennett is incredible. She is an amazingly talented voice artist, so much so that Apple actually chose her to be the voice of Siri.

When this news first broke today on CNN, I immediately looked her up on Audible to see if she had any audiobooks and was very surprised to find that she performed this book. Needless to say, she doesn't sound at all like Siri on this recording, which just goes to show how incredibly versatile a voice actress she is.

Spectacular Listen!

Christopher Moore's story is hysterically funny and entertaining from beginning to end. Susan Bennett is a fantastic narrator. The combination is an amazing audio book. I can only hope there are more stories to come featuring these characters. Three simply aren't enough!

A little disappointing but still good

Where does Bite Me rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This one falls near the upper-middle of the pack. Christopher Moore is outstanding, even on a bad day, though I would by no means calls this bad - still, it's not as good, not as satisfying as some of his other novels.

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

The ending was particularly disappointing. Though he tied up the loose ends, I just didn't find it gratifying, or in some cases, even that believable. (After all, these are real people, right?)

What about Susan Bennett’s performance did you like?

She is simply outstanding. She captures the quirky humor of Moore's style and characters perfectly. In a word, she rocks. Okay. That's two words, but she deserves it. There. I said it. I mean it. I'll say it again. She rocks.

If you could rename Bite Me, what would you call it?

Now that's a Silly Ass question and I refuse to answer it. So there.

Any additional comments?

It's worth the price of admission. If you've listened to the other two books in this series, you really have no choice but to see it through to the bloody end. Really. No choice at all, so you might as well just buy it and listen to it. You'll still laugh out loud, people on the road will still wonder what in the world you're laughing about, you just won't laugh quite as much as you might have at the first two. Oh, for Pete's sake, just buy it.

Love the comidy of the books.. how for more!

I'm hoping for more in this series. Susan Bennett did a great job narrating and Christopher did just as great a job writing.

I didn't think I would Like it .

What made the experience of listening to Bite Me the most enjoyable?

I thought the voice of the "valley girl techno whatever " would get old but the longer I listened the more it fit the story and the whole feel of the book.
It made me laugh several times out loud . Although I didn't listen to the first book of this series it was great all by itself.
A good listen and well worth the time .

My favorite of the series..Kayso...

I was apprehensive about purchasing this book. I didn't think I could like it better than You Suck or Bloodsucking Fiends, but I did. I mean, a vampire cat? Come on. But it brings an interesting and fun twist to the book. I didn't care for Abby much in You Suck, but she grew on me in this book, mostly due to Susan Bennett's portrayal of her. Susan Bennett is the best part of this book. No offense to Christopher Moore, the book would have been great on it's own, but Susan brings it alive. Kudos to you both.

Best Vampire series Ever

Absolutely one of the funniest authors ever! So underrated! I love his characters and how they deal with inane situations. LOL funny and so well read. I always need Moore!!