Bite Me

A Love Story

By: Christopher Moore

Narrated by: Susan Bennett

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

What a fun story!

I was this book first and now having listened to it Christopher Moore's ability to capture quirky characters is amazing! This is due to Susan Bennett's brilliant performance! Her portrait of ABy Normal is so much fun!

Classic Love story

K so this isn't a classic love story in the traditional sense. It 's a story about love and vampires and vampire cats. Our heroes Jody and Tommy are trapped in bronze thanks to chipper but not goth girl Abby Normal and anime boyfriend Foo-Dog because Tommy doesn't want to be a vamp anymore but Jody does. Chet the formerly huge shaved cat is now a huge shaved vampire cat and spends his nights turning other kitties into vampire kitties and turning San Francisco's homeless into dust. Cops Cavuto and Rivera, along with the Emperor and the Animals are on a quest to stop the vampire cat with some help from Foo dog's UV jackets, Abby's help and help from a mysterious samurai. All the characters from You Suck appear and offer assistance to the motley gang.

K so, there's a handful of points of view. Tommy, Jody, The Emperor, Lispy Jared, and the classic Abby Normal to name a few. They all have a different tone. Some are real-time, some are past tense and in the case of Abby, a blog.

K so, the book is great, it's funny, sweet, tense, sad and hopeful. It's light reading, perfect for summer. I had a lot of fun with this and I'll miss the characters, and happenings of our vampire friends, but it reached its natural conclusion.

K so why isn't this a 5-star book. As good as it is, it just doesn't have the epic feel of a 5-star book. It's fun, but light, and i think it's the lightness that doesn't give it that 5-star book.

K so, Susan Bennett delivers a performance of a lifetime. She reaches the next level of narration with this book. It's a step up from You Suck and every character is great, believable and has a unique voice that is memorable.

K so, you should totally listen to this book and have a good time while doing it. It really is a lot of fun. It's light, silly, vulgar, and memorable for all the right reasons.

Great finish to the series!

I was so glad that this book was written mostly from Abby Normal's point of view. The narrator nailed it! It was a fantastic conclusion to this series of books.

Rawr

Abby Normal: A valley girl with a brain and flair for drama. Emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area. Vampire?!? Oh my. Rawr indeed.
The best part of this book in my opinion was hearing it through the voice of Abby Normal, reading her journal entries, seeing her take on things. She is probably my favorite blonde personality ever. She calls it "perky" side and despises it, it really adds a funny dimension to the book.
And wow do a lot of insane things happen in this book. Giant vampire cat, vampire mice, vampire Abby. Just when you think it cant get any crazier, it does.

awesome

3rd in the trilogy, I loved the previous 2 and this book did not disappoint

It's the Abby show!

The narration and multitude of voices are excellent, but the story is just sooo Abby and exposition heavy. You know how you see Mo movie that's really good, and then the inferior sequels just keep coming? I feel like Moore was told to write a third vampire book.

I was leery

but i was wrong, this whole series was fantastic. i don't think i've ever laughed so hard when reading / listening to books. People would look at me funny, even in my own home because i was forced to L.O.L. A LOT! O.M.F.G.!

;)

Amazing reader who you can tell is as into this book as anyone can be. She really plays out those characters fantastically.

All the love

Such a fun book and series. I didnt want it to end. Loved all the characters, but Abby was definitely my favorite read this book. It’s so good. I laughed out loud numerous times hooray Christopher Moore.

I'd give it 6 stars if I could!

In the almost 20 years since I started "reading" with my ears I've listened to literally hundreds of books, and this is the 1st time I've been moved to write a review. Not only is this the best thing Moore's ever written (and I've heard or read and thoroughly enjoyed all of his books), it is probably the funniest thing I've ever listened to. The writing is crisp, inventive and hysterically clever, and the reader, Susan Bennett, is absolutely brilliant! While I thought all of her character voices were excellent, her rendition of Abbey Normal just about had me rolling on the floor time and again.

I really cannot say enough about how entertaining this audible book was for me. Don't miss it! If the combination of Mr. Moore's writing and Ms. Bennett's narration doesn't make you laugh out loud, you're deluding yourself about having a sense of humor.

I sincerely hope Christopher Moore isn't done with this cast of oddballs -- Abbey Normal is now one of my all time favorite literary characters and I would happily listen to any story that includes her distinctive and delightful point of view, especially if she's given voice by Ms. Bennett. Abbey rocks my stripey socks! So, enjoy, people. We could all use a good laugh!

Best I've Ever Heard

I love Christopher Moore and have read or listened to all of his books. I'm so glad that I got this one on audiobook! The narrator can make or break the story, and whoever chooses Christopher Moore's narrators does an outstanding job of choosing people who can capture the voice and tone of his writing. With Bite Me, his team has outdone themselves. This is, by far, the most enjoyable audiobook experience I have ever had. It's probably the first time that I actually can't imagine the written word being more enjoyable than the spoken word, although I'll still probably buy the book to complete my Christopher Moore collection.

Christopher Moore is hysterical, and every character is well developed and rings true, and Susan Bennett is brilliant. I agree with the reviewer who said that if you don't enjoy this, you have no sense of humor.

I only wish that the author wrote faster. I hate waiting for his next book to come out. I'm also going to look for other books narrated by Susan Bennett.