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Bite Me: A Love Story | [Christopher Moore]

Bite Me: A Love Story

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup."
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Publisher's Summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." (Booklist)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1672 )
5 star
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4.4 (881 )
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4.5 (885 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Jennifer 05-04-10
    Jennifer 05-04-10 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    13
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    4
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    "I love this narrator!"

    This is another great Christopher Moore book that is hilariously brought to life through the awesome narration of Susan Bennett!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matthew Ottawa, ON, Canada 05-09-10
    Matthew Ottawa, ON, Canada 05-09-10 Member Since 2014

    Avid audiobook addict!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    267
    ratings
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    163
    117
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    "Listen to the audio sample first!"

    I found the narrator extremely entertaining and thoroughly enjoyed the clever dialogue in this book. I can see how others might find her annoying though.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    R.E. Vazquez Glen Allen, VA USA 04-29-10
    R.E. Vazquez Glen Allen, VA USA 04-29-10 Listener Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Love him...Hate her"

    Christopher Moore is by far my favorite author and I have enjoyed every one of his books. In the case of "Bite Me", I find myself stuck by a narrator that thinks she is on the Broadway stage. Narration is a specialized type of performance, whose main purpose should be to convey the author's words clearly, so the reader understands what is going on. The narrator should never sacrifice clarity for acting. Ms. Bennett gets so wrapped up in acting the role of Abby that I have to copnstantly rewind to try to understand what she is saying. She assumes that Abby speaks very fast and so does she. She may be right, but it requires a great deal of concentration to keep up with her. If she underplayed the character a little bit, it could be better. At this point, this may be the first Christopher Moore book I won't be able to finish. My solution is to obtain the written version.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Linda 03-29-10
    Linda 03-29-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Bite Me"

    Painful, very painful listen. The narrator read the book in the style written but 8 hours of this is too much for my ears. I could not listen past the second chapter.
    The story is funny but not a good listen.

    5 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Cee Miranda Jimeno Mililani, HI United States 05-18-11
    Cee Miranda Jimeno Mililani, HI United States 05-18-11 Member Since 2010
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    73
    4
    Overall
    "Great Story, Bad Narration"

    This book was a great read. I had a hard time getting through the audible book because the narrator was really annoying and totally unconvincing. Too bad, as I am a big fan of Christopher Moore's books.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Megan South Elgin, IL, United States 03-29-11
    Megan South Elgin, IL, United States 03-29-11 Member Since 2013
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hard to get past the narrator"

    The book itself is great. The narrator; however, makes this almost impossible for me to listen to. She has this garbled, lispy, valley girl affectation going on that is really hard to follow. I will have to read this myself, because I can't follow what is going on with the narrator's performance.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Beth Nashville, TN, United States 01-27-11
    Beth Nashville, TN, United States 01-27-11 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not my kind of humor"

    Allow me to say that this was my first Christopher Moore book. I fully realize this book is supposed to be comedic in nature from start to finish; I found it anything but. I prefer my satire less exaggerated.

    The story was snooze-worthy most of the time and largely seemed to be a retelling of what happened in the previous two books. I cringed every time Abby Normal's narration started, and I had to force myself to finish this book. Part of my problem was that I started with this book. Apparently, I should have tried the others first, but I didn't realize this was a series until it was too late. Obviously, it does not work well as a stand-alone story. If you like sarcasm so thick you could Spackle your walls with it, this book may very well be for you.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jen Woods Cross, UT, USA 05-17-10
    Jen Woods Cross, UT, USA 05-17-10 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    41
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    3
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    "Really"

    I don't see how a teen goth girl sounds like a cheesy cheerleader. Couldn't get past the narration, made me want to hit something. The writing seemed good, but I really wished I'd listened to the clip before purchasing. I have a headache and have only listened to it for 15 min. Threw away that credit. Normally I love Moore. Disappointing.

    1 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Burgezz 05-03-10
    Burgezz 05-03-10 Listener Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    "Horrible Narration"

    I can't get passed the narrator.

    1 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    kristin san antonio, TX, United States 04-10-10
    kristin san antonio, TX, United States 04-10-10 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny but...."

    I haven't finished this one yet, the beginning grabbed me, but then I am in the middle and lost, I think this one is one I might need to actually read and not listen to because it's like I needed to go back and remember who everyone is. I don't know if it's interesting enough for me to do so though.

    0 of 2 people found this review helpful
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