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Bite Me Audiobook

Bite Me: A Love Story

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Publisher's Summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." (Booklist)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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Performance
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  •  
    Pamela J United States 07-23-10
    Pamela J United States 07-23-10 Member Since 2016

    Sure, I'd love to hear your story....

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great conclusion to an outrageous series"

    Christopher Moore is wicked funny and the narrator amazing! Good for adults not easily offended by language and sexual situations who sometimes like to talk like naughty high-school students. Enjoy.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rudy Weston, MA, USA 07-22-10
    Rudy Weston, MA, USA 07-22-10 Member Since 2008
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    "They did it again!"

    I really enjoy Christopher Moore's books in general, and his first two parts of this vampire trilogy (so far?) in particular, so I had high hopes for Bite Me. He nailed it. And maybe even more importantly, Susan Bennett nailed it! This is the first review I've written, but I had to rave about the Moore/Bennett combination. She does an outstanding job bringing to life all of the various characters populating Moore's world, but I am particularly blown away by how well she translates Abby's slang-y, angst-y personality so vividly. I'm sure that this book is a fun read, but I'd highly recommend getting the audiobook version just to hear Susan Bennett's reading of Abby. Moore & Bennett are a great combo.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J. Clark 07-20-10
    J. Clark 07-20-10 Member Since 2010

    ohmigod3339

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    "I was leery"

    but i was wrong, this whole series was fantastic. i don't think i've ever laughed so hard when reading / listening to books. People would look at me funny, even in my own home because i was forced to L.O.L. A LOT! O.M.F.G.!

    ;)

    Amazing reader who you can tell is as into this book as anyone can be. She really plays out those characters fantastically.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jeane Monterey, California 06-29-10
    Jeane Monterey, California 06-29-10 Member Since 2008
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    "Loved it!"

    One thing to say about Moore's writing, and that is that when you have the right narrator, it is 10 times better! This book is awesome, and hilarious, Susan Bennett makes this book even more awesome! It was one of those books where you wanted to just sit in your car all day, or sit around your house wearing your headphone! Moore is a first rate character developer, he knows his characters so well, there is not inconsistencies in any of them, even when you run into them in another one of Moore's books. Plus I really love how Moore will incorporate characters from his other books, I think it makes his fan following stronger. I adore Abby! She is probably Christopher Moore's funniest characters in my opinion (and that is saying something!). Moore has really grown as a comedic writer, his other two books in this series are funny, but this was just GREAT! I've been quoting it non-stop. Plus I love the way Moore translates what dogs are saying when they bark, cracks me up! I really hope that there is another installment of the series, but if there isn't an actual 4th vampire books, I think that Moore might have other things planned. See More

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer 06-18-10

    Ok I am addicted to Audible.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "I wrote a fan letter!"

    I have never sought out a author and thanked him for the laugh before. He even wrote back! Very, Very funny book and for me to say it was well read by Susan Bennett would be in no way do her justice. She is like a total genius with the characters, you feel like your making the movie in your head. "Like Totally OMG, OMG" inside joke.

    Guur!!! LOL OUT

    PS
    The Kona character should of spoken Hawaiian Pigeon English.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steve Eagan, MN, United States 06-17-10
    Steve Eagan, MN, United States 06-17-10 Member Since 2012
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    "Should have stopped after the first sequel."

    I really enjoyed books one and two, but this book feels like Moore was just trying to score some bucks on the coat tails of the first two. It lacked the spark and ability to draw the listener in. I will admit there was a few outloud laughs that I enjoyed, but they were few and far between.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kristin Laura Elk Grove, CA USA 06-17-10
    Kristin Laura Elk Grove, CA USA 06-17-10 Member Since 2013
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    "I was concerned by the excerpt, but..."

    ...it turned out to be a great listen. I'm a big Moore fan, but I almost didn't get the book because the narrator turned me off. However, it turns out Susan Bennett is perfect for Abby Normal. If you like Jody and Tommy, read this too. I got to laugh every morning and evening on my way to and from work. What more can you want while commuting?

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steven The Woodlands, TX, United States 05-30-10
    Steven The Woodlands, TX, United States 05-30-10 Member Since 2006
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    "Susan Bennett is FAB"

    I've enjoyed all of Christopher Moore's work and I can't imagine anyone but Susan Bennett narating this story. This is a great follow-up to the 2 previous books.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mari Cleveland Heights, OH, United States 05-25-10
    Mari Cleveland Heights, OH, United States 05-25-10 Member Since 2006
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    "Moore Does It Again! (and so does Bennett)"

    Ok. Disclaimer. I am a fan of Christopher Moore. If you like funny, fast-paced, extremely well written foolishness, Moore is your man. If you are looking for the "great American novel", move on. Also, if you are near the same age of Abbey Normal, and are at all sensitive about being accurately portrayed as that annoying, this book will drive you crazy. If you want a good, silly time, get it.

    That said, "Bite Me" finishes off the trilogy (or does it?) started with "Bloodsucking Fiends" and "You Suck" The first book was Jody's tale, the second, Tommy's, and now Abbey comes in front and center. The first chapter is a recap of the first two books, so if you know them, you can move ahead a little. But not too far, the story get's a little complex very quickly. With Abbey as the narrator, it feels a little disjointed at first, but there is a rhythm and once you get into it, everything starts falling into place.

    There are a lot of comments about the narration - I am happy that all three books are narrated by Bennett. It gives a nice continuity to the set. As always, I feel Bennett does a great job. Abbey is accused of being "too perky", so Bennet's choice of rapid fire, breathless reading is excellent. But, as with every book here, listen to the sample. In my humble opinion, Bennet and Moore are a great team.

    The only problem? I want more Moore!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathryn Dayton, OH, USA 05-24-10
    Kathryn Dayton, OH, USA 05-24-10
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    "Mostly repetition of the story so far..."

    Nevertheless, at a discounted rate, I thought Susan Bennet's narration was spot on. Her "okay, so" rendered is "QueSO" is brilliant. My only hope it that Moore will add more real substance, and less "recap" to his next installment of this 1984/Dracula/Sandburg (it was not Ferlinghetti who wrote about the fog) dystopian San Francisco world. Not for the faint of heart, given that each of Abby's utterances somehow must include something profane. Funny, but profane.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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