Bite Me

A Love Story

By: Christopher Moore

Narrated by: Susan Bennett

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

The narrator was AMAZING!!

If you've read/ listened to the previous book you've met Abby. This book is full of her narratives. Susan Bennett plays the part perfectly and makes the story even more hilarious.

Terrific SERIES of books!

This is one of the best series of books I've ever listened to - it's as funny and entertaining as Stieg Larssen's "Millennium Trilogy" is dark and captivating. Be aware, though - THIS IS BOOK #3 OF A SERIES! If you really want to get the most out of it, listen to "Bloodsucking Fiends" (#1) and "You Suck" (#2) first. I was completely baffled by the start of the book and Abby Normal's narration until I figured this out, and once I went back and listened to the first two I discovered that they're as entertaining as this one. Susan Bennett is absolutely perfect, especially as the Emperor and Abby, and I now intend to listen to all of Christopher Moore's books since he's obviously so talented ...

5 stars

Chris Moore doesn't disappoint. Great ending to a super funny series. I'm going to miss these characters.

Hysterical

Another hysterical and witty piece by Christopher Moore. I mean laugh out loud like a crazy person, while getting odd looks and side eyes from other drivers kinda funny. This man has a way with words.

pretty good

was not as good as the first two and had a weird ending but good

Loved it!

One thing to say about Moore's writing, and that is that when you have the right narrator, it is 10 times better! This book is awesome, and hilarious, Susan Bennett makes this book even more awesome! It was one of those books where you wanted to just sit in your car all day, or sit around your house wearing your headphone! Moore is a first rate character developer, he knows his characters so well, there is not inconsistencies in any of them, even when you run into them in another one of Moore's books. Plus I really love how Moore will incorporate characters from his other books, I think it makes his fan following stronger. I adore Abby! She is probably Christopher Moore's funniest characters in my opinion (and that is saying something!). Moore has really grown as a comedic writer, his other two books in this series are funny, but this was just GREAT! I've been quoting it non-stop. Plus I love the way Moore translates what dogs are saying when they bark, cracks me up! I really hope that there is another installment of the series, but if there isn't an actual 4th vampire books, I think that Moore might have other things planned. See More

Great performance. Very funny. 'K, so...

If you could sum up Bite Me in three words, what would they be?

Wacky, funny and totally emo!!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Bite Me?

Jared "Love Lair" sitting.

Which character – as performed by Susan Bennett – was your favorite?

Abby Normal. But I also loved Jared and Madame Natasha, the fortune teller.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Almost "pee-my-pants" funny.

HILARIOUS

Absolutely gelatinous! All you 1 star reviews complaining about language need to get over yourself. Words only have the power YOU give them. Those complaining about racism are the real racists. Coming to the defense of all those poor minorities because YOU think they can't defend themselves, taking away their agency and patting yourselves on the back. See me defend those poor minorities, aren't I nice? YUCK. K so..... I am totally changing my tomcats name from Milo to Chet. I don't think he'll care as long as the kitty treats keep flowing. Getting him a 600 year old super hot Greek girl to hump will be trickier. But, I intend to haunt the night until I find her!

Exceptional fun book to fall in too.

its a horror -laugh, riot love story! excellent . Christopher Moore is my fav author so Im a lil biased but he never ceases to amaze me.

Left me wanting more

Great story. It was funny and witty, tied in to his other stories well. The narrator is great. I miss the characters already.