Bite Me

A Love Story

By: Christopher Moore

Narrated by: Susan Bennett

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

Amazing as always

All three of these unique vampire books were fantastic! I would certainly read them in order, and I truly hope we get another tale of Jody the Vampire, and Abby Normal maybe an update on their lives 10-20 years down the road would be fantastic. I feel like I get so attached to these great characters I never want the books to end!

Fu@$socks it's over

I really love these books. Abby Normal is a Goddess. This reader did a great job and I will be listening to them again and again.

Hilarious in parts

Bite Me, by Christopher Moore
'Kay, so. (which is how Abby Normal, teenage minion and aspiring Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night, begins nearly every entry in her journal). The book is second or third in a series of San Fran vampire novels Moore is continuing, and features said vampires, beleaguered city cops, the night re-stocking crew of the Marina Safeway grocery store, the Emperor of San Francisco (a batty but dignified homeless man known to everyone in the city) and his two dogs, plus Abby and her boyfriend Steven "Fu Dog" Wong, an Asian tech geek working on his Master's Degree in Biotech at Berkeley while devising vampire-killing devices in his spare time. New in this entry to the series: killer vampire kitties weighing 65 pounds.

This is a hilarious entry in the series, mostly because Moore is at his strongest as a writer, and funniest, when he writes in first person. The writing is really uneven, because he keeps switching from first-person Abby (whose diary entries are so damned authentic in their silly, fashion-obsessed, OMG, WTF, teenage girl voice that I wonder where this 45ish male author picked UP this stuff), to third person when the scenes switch away from Abby to action involving other characters in other parts of the city.

Still, I've enjoyed the hell out of it, and am ROTFLMAO, as Abby would say.

A New Twist On Vampires

I really enjoyed the unusual storyline of this book. But Abby Normal makes the book! I absolutely loved her! I laughed through the whole thing and started looking at the first 2 books in this series. Only one of them seem to have Abby in them, but I plan to buy both anyway.

Perfect

Susan Bennet's narration makes this already astonishingly funny book sublime. There are far too many narrators out there who read in monotones, giving every character the same voice. Not Bennet. Every character has a voice of their own, and the voices are perfect, even the occasional characters like the Chinese Grandmother.

And what can I say about Christopher Moore that hasn't been said? He's a comic genius, and if there were a Nobel Prize for comic metaphor, ("paler than Death shagging a snowman") he'd get it.

Charcters from his other novels make cameos, something I've come to love. as though the whole story was one long continuing tale. (Exceptions: no characters from SOCAL in Lamb or Fool).

A thoroughly wonderful book and performance. Suspend your disbelief and delay reading it only as long as it takes to read the first two books in the trilogy.

Brilliant Narration

I'm only half way through this but I love it. The narration is just brilliant. The narrator really brings Abby Normal to life. This is the best audio book I've purchased so far.

Kudos to Susan Bennett.

Christopher Moore Rocks!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Definitely!

Any additional comments?

I have listened to 5 or so Christopher Moore books. The stories are great. Very funny stuff that keeps you interested. I hope he's hard at work on more books.

So I'm Like...I like this!

Like okay, okay, so I'm like Mistress Of the Night Abby finally got to me and she's like doing the booty dance and I go okay okay I really got used to you and this third book was pretty awesome and I'm like cool dude listen to it.

A great laugh for the morning commute.

What made the experience of listening to Bite Me the most enjoyable?

The narrations from Abby Normal, they wording and phrases from her character kept me laughing through the entire story.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Bite Me?

The exchanges between Abby and Detectives, it was just so easy to visualize this tiny little girl just tearing up these big bad detectives...loved it.

What does Susan Bennett bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

She really gave all the characters personality that I don't think would have been the same if somebody else read the book.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I was laughing out loud through most of the book.

FIVE STARS!!!

Would you listen to Bite Me again? Why?

Yes! Christopher Moore is so funny and smart and entertaining. We have all of his audio books and they never get old. Susan Bennett is a fantastic voice actress. She brings the characters to life.

What did you like best about this story?

Christopher Moore's charming characters, his wit and humor.