A Girl's Guide to Vampires

By: Katie MacAlister

Narrated by: Karen White

Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:

• Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
• Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
• No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
• Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
• Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

©2003 Marthe Arends (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

I'm surprised I enjoyed it.

The book was surprisingly steamy, I really enjoyed it. Usually i don't like these books but I really liked it. I even laughed.

So funny and romantic

Chapter 1 had me roaring, consistently into Chapter 2. I’m so glad someone else has the same sense of humor & gets those jokes other people look at me like I’m crazy.
I’ve read hotter, sexier & more descriptive Vampire romances but this is a true, romance & good comedy thrown in for great measure.
I LOVED IT!

Ugh others were right

The book had some fun side characters; however, the other reviewers who dislike this heroine were correct. She is frustratingly dumb and annoying with the emotional iq of a rutabaga.

Steamy Paranormal Series

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend to freinds who like paranormal vamp books.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Roxy, she always made me laugh!

Which character – as performed by Karen White – was your favorite?

She did a terrific job with all of them!

If you could take any character from A Girl's Guide to Vampires out to dinner, who would it be and why?

Again Roxy, cause I want to steal her as my BFF!

Any additional comments?

Holy Hannah, that was a steamy fun read! It had plenty of laugh out loud light and funny moments mixed in with a fair amount of mystery.

I really enjoyed the story for the most part but was a touch disappointed by some of the events. I was also not always in love with the lead guy Raphael. He had some definite jerk moments I had a hard time getting past.

Loved, loved, loved Joy and Roxy! The dynamic between these two best friends is what really carries the story. Almost every interaction between the two will induce giggles if not out right guffaws! They were engaging and fun but not cartoony. They really were delightful!

The whole side story mystery was a touch on the dull side. I could have used a little more action there but it served it's purpose of holding the book together and making it more than just a romance.

Steamy!!!! Oh heck yes!! Once the two leads get together they kind of go at it like bunnies whenever they get a free moment!! Hot and heavy about covers it!!

I listened to the audiobook on this one and the narrator did a great job. I liked the voices and felt she did a fantastic job of giving distinct changes to each character's voice. I never had a moment when I doubted who was speaking. She also did a great job of conveying the emotions, enhancing the storytelling.

This is the first book in the series and while it doesn't have me hooked I am intrigued enough to try the next one.

Do the authors even know? 🥲😪

This is hard to rate- this book is one of my long time favorites, by one of my long time favorite authors- and it was fun to revisit it via audio book. However, the narrator took the H, who has always been sexy as sin in my head (for about the past twenty years, mind you)- and gave him the weirdest voice- a voice that could only before have been fit for an undead Alfred (You know, Alfred from Batman? 😅)- that’s right- Alfred, but undead- he sounded like a stuffy old man with a froggy voice.
I am sure the narrator tried and it can’t be easy, but listening to this book was torture in that respect- I winced in serious dismay and a little bit of heartbreak every single time it was the H’s turn to speak 🤦🏼‍♀️
When this happens, I always can’t help but wonder if the authors even bother to listen to how bad it is-
But when a narrator ruins the voice of some of your favorite characters- it is it’s own special kind of hell 😪

Very good read

The story is well written and very engrossing. The narrator does a wonderful job reading the story and keeping the voices straight.

Chevelle

every time I put it down I wanted to pick it back up. narrator was good.

Cute idea, but where's the vampire?

Would you recommend A Girl's Guide to Vampires to your friends? Why or why not?

No. The story is called A Girl's Guide to Vampires, but there is very little girl/vampire interaction. The only redeeming quality about this story was the sex.

Would you listen to another book narrated by Karen White?

As it turned out, I did. I don't really love her as a narrator.

Was A Girl's Guide to Vampires worth the listening time?

It helped the bumper to bumper traffic stress, but otherwise it was not the best few hours of my time.

THIS is Not the Katie MacAlister we know!!!

I first started listening to Ms MacAlister with the "Dragon Series". I thirsted for each book as it came out. Always pleased with the product, I came back time and again for more. Those series (Green, Silver, Light, Black, etc.) were witty in dialogue, well characterized in number of distinct personalities, broad in storyline and worthy of the public acclaim that they achieved.

Then, having no more in that series to read, I started with some of her "other" Vampire books only a few of which were carried by Audible (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Fang, etc.) and found the surprisingly good as well.

When these 3 books came out in 2013, I was so eager to feed my habit that I did not even listen to a sample of the books, I just purchased them. These books, apparently all in the "Dark Ones" series (but neither labeled nor numbered that way except for this first book) are little more than formulaic with flat characters, shabby storylines and a blind of overly descriptive sex scenes that neither arouse nor deceive the listener into believing that this is up to the previous Ms MacAlister's writings. If these were her first works, I could allow that, as a beginner, she could in time grow to be the KM we all know. However, that is not the case and it appears that these works are merely trying to "cash in" on her previous legacy.

Needless to say I will not be following this series.

Sadly doesn't quite hold up

I enjoy a lot of Katie McAlister's books and recently finished the Audio versions of her Aisling Grey series. I figured the Dark Ones would be fun next, as I like that series as well.

Unfortunately, the audio performance didn't just detract from the book, it made it very frustrating and unpleasant to listen to. I didn't mind the performer's voices, but I minded very much that anyone who was not American spoke... very... broken... sentences. Even people stated as having an English accent, or the fact that the area they're visiting has people from all over the world visiting. As most of the main characters including both of the love interests are not from the US, it means even during hot and heavy scenes you listen to a character who sounds like Sesame Street's Count and the Swedish Chef had a kid.

Even speeding up the narration didn't help. There is no real characterization of voices -- instead of a voice, they just get stuck with broken, plodding English. Nevermind the main characters are all fluent in English and in text have actual personalities. This was incredibly disappointing, because it's constant, so any of the feelings I had for sections of the book (ridiculous, funny, romantic, sad) are gone and replaced with pure annoyance. I'm sad to lose all of the characters to this.

I forgot how much casual racism was in this book (a lot of g*psy and similar pejoratives), which also led to it not standing up well to nostalgia.

I will re-read this book but not re-listen to it; the whole thing feels whitewashed to the point of no one having any personality at all, which is a shame.

I won't be listening to more in this series if they have the same performer -- most take place in Europe, and I can't listen to every single line of dialogue coming like pulling teeth, word by word, simply because the speaker isn't American. Oof.