Daughter Detox

Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life

By: Peg Streep

Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu

Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins

Publisher's summary

A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem.

Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: "discover", "discernment", "distinguish", "disarm", "reclaim", "redirect", and "recover". Each step is clearly explained and richly detailed with the stories of other women. With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior.

The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort.

The book begins with "discovery", opening up the listener's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors - dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed - lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world.

"Discernment" delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process.

Next up is "distinguish", seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships.

Active recovery begins with "disarm" as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed.

"Reclaim" is the stage at which the listener begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered.

Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of "redirect".

Finally, "recover" challenges the listener to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.

©2017 Peg Streep (P)2018 Tantor

Looking for the Exit!

I read the book. I listened to the book. I went back & forth on audible numerous times for weeks. I’m shocked to learn my story is one of playing the dance! I’m 64 years old. Time has passed me by. I will be looking for my exit. Highly recommend this book!

Dense

Great book. Have listened to it several times, and will again! Filled with lots of information.

Amazing

I love that this book breaks down the trauma, how you responded to the trauma, and how to recover from the trauma. I recommended this book to my therapist and she thought it was a great tool in her arsenal.

Very insightful

A very well thought out and researched gathering of information plus many tips and insights. Was eye opening.

Detoxing from unloving mothers

I liked the empowerment to seek one’s own life story and free oneself from the unloving mother.
If you want to find resolution with your mother- this is not the book. This book is really if you’ve tried it all and there is no way you can go on with your mother in your life..
Helped me loads by being aware of the treatment i have faced and that i was undeserving of it..
and it helps build self compassion and a secure attachment style in future relationships!

Courageous and compassionate

I have been looking for answers to my Mother Vile problem all my life. Several years ago I read the author's "Mean Mothers'. I didn't feel they explained the monster in my life too well, although it was still helpful. I'm grateful that the author's courage and integrity to focus a light on this important problem. Even though it didn't quite reach the depth of depravity of Mother Vile, the information on the effect of being an unloved daughter and ways to heal are still valuable.

Best Advice Ever!!!!

I have read so many books on this subject. This is the best, research-based book I have ever read. Thank you Peg Streep!!!

Great Book

I got a lot out of this book, and am still processing some of the new ideas that were illustrated with clarity. Narrated beautifully!

Overwhelmingly Affirming

I feel like I have found my people through this book. For some years now, through therapy, I have been coming to the realization that my relationship with my mother was unconventional. I am just now reconciling with the truth of my experience of my mother because it is generally unacceptable to have disfavorable feelings about your mother. In my case, my mother has been deceased for nearly 23 years and I am nearly 50. At this point, I think I can accept the truth of my experience and I owe it to no one to gloss over it or deny it. This book is like coming home to myself. It is uncanny how "dead on" the author is of "my relationship" with my mother. She's telling my secrets and it feels so freeing! The validation I am having is worth the six years of therapy it took for me to draw this book into my life.

So revealing, helpful and liberating!

This book is everything!
It is so revealing, helpful and liberating!
I recommend for every one trying to navigate the toxicity imparted on them by their mothers