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Sh-t My Dad Says  By  cover art

Sh-t My Dad Says

By: Justin Halpern
Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
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Publisher's summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

Featured Article: The Best Comedy Audiobooks to Get You Laughing Out Loud


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What listeners say about Sh-t My Dad Says

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
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Hilarious

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

How much his Dad loved him and showed him that - in his own way

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Lol funny Reminds me of Shit my dad says enjoyable

Lol funny. Reminds me of Shit my dad says. Truly enjoyable. Will recommend to others

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Funny

Laugh out loud funny in many parts. Ended up listening to the whole book in one sitting.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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omg

funny as hell! we were laughing so much while driving at night kept us awake!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

I love your dad's S**T....

Dear Justin Halpem...I love your dad, I'm glad you took all his quirkyness with a great sense of humor.
Dear Readers, This is just an entertaining 3.5 hour book, and it's just fun to laugh at someone's elses father. Hopefully, you can laught at your own fathers S**t afterwards, and love him even more.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!

If you could sum up Sh-t My Dad Says in three words, what would they be?

Love this book.

What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

He really brings the Dad character to life.

Any additional comments?

I really had a lot of fun listening to this book.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Very funny

I laughed out loud during many parts of this book. I know the people in the cars around thought I must have been loony.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Got Me Through Work

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

It's hard to say. I mean it's funny, but I don't know if my friends will dig it.

What other book might you compare Sh-t My Dad Says to and why?

I haven't listened to a book like this. I am reading its unofficial sequel "I Suck at Girls", but that's all I can think of.

What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Well I'm familiar with Sean Schemmel as the voice of Goku from Dragonball Z. I grew up watching this series. Hearing him in the sample clip only confirmed my wanting to get this Audible title. Granted it's weird hear him say words like "fuck" and "cock", but then again I've said and heard worse from others.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me laugh, but it also made me think.

Any additional comments?

Make sure the kids can't hear this one. It's not appropriate for the little ones. Other than that, I dig it.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Dad said what

I thought the book was fast moving entertaining and I will recommend to my brothers

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!

This was fantastic!! I LOVE his dad!! It's an easy book to listen to and constantly entertaining! Definitely recommend... :)

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