After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.
An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)
I have been a member of Audible for over a year now, and Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern, is the first audiobook for which I have felt it would be a crime not to provide a review. This is an uproariously hilarious, engaging and witty piece of writing. The narration shines: each character comes alive with Schemmel's astounding variance in tone and voice, aiding the listener in getting to know each unique personality, particularly that of Sam the father. More than just a funny, crass collection of witty quips, Sh*t My Dad Says is ultimately the story of a dad who, beneath his gruff exterior, genuinely loves and cares for his family and the well being of his son. I cannot recommend this audiobook enough!
I listen to audio books at work. 5 minutes in to this audio I had to stop and wait till I got home to listen to more.
Perfect book to kill a few hours on a drive or while out shopping. Nothing life altering or challenging here, just a good fun story that will make you laugh out loud.
To everyone seeking an entertaining and fun book to listen to - this is it. The narration absolutely makes this book. I have never heard anything from Sean Schemmel before but he has my vote for best comedic narration. Listen and laugh!
The snippets of life with cranky dad were hilarious as tweets, but as a sequence of stories they lose their pop. If you know these people, they are likely very funny, but otherwise, they occasionally evoke a mild smile at best.
The end, however, where Dad reveals personal history, is well-written, poignant, and compelling.
Great audiobook, very funny and real. I did not find it vulgar or offensive in any way. And I found the stories always had an undertone of the love and concern that a father feels for his son. I cant get enough of the stories about this grumpy, outspoken Dad.
Listen to it, read it, do whatever you like but just get it. It's so damn funny! I just wish that the narrator wouldn't make Justin sound like a total sissy with his voice. Otherwise, it had me rolling. Now who's bright idea was it to make this into a sitcom.....on CBS? Wow, idiotic. At least Justin Halpern got paid, I guess.
Sean Schemmel does his best to bring this book to life. The father's voice is especially well done—a combination of Ed Asner and John Mahoney (Martin Crane on Fraiser). However, the content fails to capture the reader's heart. The father is quite a character, but lacks endearing qualities. He is borderline abusive to his son, and the reader is expected to accept him as merely eccentric. Justin Halpern had no choice but to live with this guy, but what is the mother's excuse. She tolerates her husband's constant bitching when she should be out looking for a good divorce lawyer. Sorry, Justin. This memoir is just one big pile of s***.
This book had it's funny moments...just too random for me. There was not enough character development. Ultimate question: Did the dad love his current wife? How much of the **** did the son take to heart? How did he apply these things to his life or did he?
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