After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”
“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.
An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)
I had no idea that Justin and I were brothers..... My dad says the same sh*t. I laughed so hard I cried. I would recommend this book to anyone who has a no-nonsense father and isn't afraid of the liberal use of the f-bomb.
I loved this book. I read it first and then decided to buy it so my dad, brothers and I could listen to it on our road trip. We laughed so hard and made for great conversation about our childhood with him. Sean Schemmel is wonderful with the voices. Simply brilliant.
Hilarious stories, clever one-liners, and excellent narration make this my absolute favorite audiobook ever. Definitely worth a listen. I didn't delete it from my mp3 player because I plan to listen to it again soon.
This book is an easy listen, and it's funny. Unfortunately I find the narrator's impersonation of Justin Halpern's dad very annoying. Also Justin sounds like a whiney wuss. I think he was going for Archie Bunker or Ralph from the Honeymooners. It's unfortunate, because the story telling pretty much requires that Justin's dad sounds outrageous, but charismatic.
I truly enjoyed this book and loved every minute of it.
I highly recommend it.
The similarities between the authors father and my father are uncanny.
I usually listen to books when going to bed..rarely comedies though. I loaded the book up and proceeded to start laughing almost immediately. This is funny sh*t!!! Really. I tried to stifle my laugh repeatedly to the point that my wife said....LISTEN IN THE LIVING ROOM!! This never happens. I Loved this book because a little bit of it reminded me on my own father! It shorts and just keeps you laughing!!!! It is also great to listen to on a break from work unless you really stimulating co-workers! Well done!!!
Tell us about yourself!
This is such a funny book! I made the mistake of listening to it on a long train ride. I'm sure the people sitting close to me thought I was crazy for laughing out loud so often.
Downloaded this book yesterday based on the previous glowing reviews. Had high expectations that I'd be laughing so hard I'd wet myself. Got through the first hour with barely a chuckle. I consider myself as someone having a pretty good sense of humor but just didn't find this material very funny. I'm no prude either but did Justin's dad REALLY cuss like a sailor around the house and in front of young kids?! Sorry, this one didn't work for me and I refused to subject myself to the remaining hours.
The book is well written, but has no plot and goes nowhere. Had to give up at the halfway point. I am highly disappointed because I am a huge Stephen King fan and also really like Joe Hill, but Owen King just doesn't seem to have their skills at drawing you into the story.
Report Inappropriate Content
If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.