Sh-t My Dad Says

By: Justin Halpern

Narrated by: Sean Schemmel

Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”

“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar...Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.”

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern’s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.

An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny’s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns’ kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh-t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

©2010 Justin Halpern (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times best-selling author of Stuff White People Like)

You gotta have the right dad

What did you love best about Sh-t My Dad Says?

It was fun to listen too and you didn't have to give it your full attention to enjoy.

It was funny and reminded me just a touch of my dad. It also made me nostalgic for my childhood.

I wish they hadn't kept using the punchlines for chapter titles though. It kinda made some of them boring since it was obvious what was comming. and repetitive.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Sh-t My Dad Says?

No one moment stands out since it's a book about memorable moments.

What does Sean Schemmel bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

A horrible dad voice. For the first half of the book every time he did the dad voice it took me right out of the story. Bad choice.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

This was a low emotional impact book. It made me chuckle, once or twice bark out with laughter and was most just enjoyable. A time or two it brought to mind, simply by it's overall content and nothing specific, memories that were a bit wistful or sad.

Any additional comments?

They say humor has a modicum of truth to truly be funny. My dad was nothing like this guy is the foul-mouthed sayings department but he did have his moments so that's the bit of truth that lets me find this funny. Some people will have no way to relate to this humor and that's o.k. but they shouldn't buy this book.

Last year I watched the T.V. show based on this book and found it funny; that is the dad (played by Shatner) was funny. The two sons were not and especially the older son. I think if they had stuck closer to the book it would have been funnier. there are a few reasons but basically the book was about the dad and the show wasn't.

I feel like there was some embellishment here, but who doesn't recall their past without some Industrial Light and Magic thrown in. I don't care if it's real or imagined. AMOF I wouldn't mind if the author totally fabricated another dozen hours of stories. It made mowing my 8 acres quite an enjoyable afternoon.

Can he be my dad?

This dad rocks, the author is lucky to have such a great dad. A dad that says, "shit, I screwed up and that wasn't fair to you" is a full-on keeper.

Ridiculously funny

I don't laugh out loud much. I did laid remind to this book. Reminds me off dad. Some absolutely great one liners in here. Shared some of them with my wife. She laughed even though she generally hates profanity. Worth buying.

Loved it

Awesome book, and the narrator was phenomenal. You won’t be disappointed. I find myself wanting more.

Hilarious

This book was laugh out loud funny. It was such a I'm filter response that most parents want to say, but don't. I could totally relate.

Annoying voice

Loved the written book but why did author allow the narration with this voice? It really diminishes his fathers character!

Full of laughs around every corner

Every time I thought to myself "where is this going", just around the corner I was laughing my head off. The old man is great and on top of it he makes a lot of sense. Very pragmatic in his ways but you knew he loved his family. Good story, good laughs.

Fun

This was a fun listen. I am even going through it a second time with my husband and it is funnier with two people to share the laughs. Great for staying awake on a late night drive. It is well read with great voices.

Such a great listen!

Such a great listen! If you're looking for a book to make you laugh, this is it!

Such an awesome book

Listen to it, read it, do whatever you like but just get it. It's so damn funny! I just wish that the narrator wouldn't make Justin sound like a total sissy with his voice. Otherwise, it had me rolling. Now who's bright idea was it to make this into a sitcom.....on CBS? Wow, idiotic. At least Justin Halpern got paid, I guess.