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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy | [Adam Carolla]

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (1268 )
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4.4 (745 )
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  •  
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Hilarious Book"

    This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dan san diego, ca 01-30-13
    Dan san diego, ca 01-30-13 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Very simular to his second book"
    Any additional comments?

    The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Stephen Sacramento, CA, United States 07-26-11
    Stephen Sacramento, CA, United States 07-26-11 Member Since 2009

    WiseBuyer

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Only funny for 10 or 15 minuites"

    At first, very funny. I was laughing out loud. The story of school was fun. Then, more and more, he thought it funny to put down everyone who is not him. Lots of foul language that I guess the author thinks makes it funny, If you like to hear constant cursing for no reason, if you like to hear rants about other people, you might like this. Maybe it gets better -- I won't find out. I finally turned it off after about 1/4 or 1/3 of the way through.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Denis Houston, TX, United States 06-15-11
    Denis Houston, TX, United States 06-15-11 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Dull and Duller"

    Just the dullest hour and a half of my life. Not funny and no point to any of it as far as I could tell.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Anthony D. Tortorella 06-11-11 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Buyer Beware!"

    I have never before written a review for Audible, no matter how good nor how bad I found the audiobook. But I can't let this one go by.

    This book is absolutely dull. Well, I speak for the first 1 hour and 12 minutes of it. Because, I persevered that long and tried to give it a chance. But I couldn't waste any more time.

    Someone else will have to write the review to let me know if the remaining 5 1/2 hours is what makes it worth the listen.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mark 1808 California 05-19-11
    Mark 1808 California 05-19-11 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Insightful & Funny!"

    Fantastic audio book! I listened on a long road trip and the time flew by! Adam Carolla has great insight and he read the book like you were having a few beers with an intelligent, funny friend. Highly recommend.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Greg Tualatin, OR, United States 03-04-11
    Greg Tualatin, OR, United States 03-04-11
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    "It's Great!"

    Amazing and the replay value is high. Carolla gets a rise out of people, see the "reviewers" listing all the reasons they don't like the book. Love him or hate him he will get a reaction out of you and that's his job. I highly suggest you purchase the book, unless you are an easily offended wuss, then steer clear.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JOHN Plantation, FL, United States 02-26-11
    JOHN Plantation, FL, United States 02-26-11 Member Since 2003

    Audible Member Since 2003

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Adam is Hilarious!"

    The title says it all, as this book is a wild rant from a fairly conservative middle-aged white guy. There is nothing more to it. This book is the opposite of great literature as Adam just rails against political-correctness, bathroom etiquette and the most mundane of the mundane. But what did you expect, Jane Austen?

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Brett Jarrett 02-20-11 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Very Funny"

    I'm glad I listened to this rather than read it, he adds a ton of stuff. It's very good.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steven GARDNERVILLE, NEVADA, United States 01-05-11
    Steven GARDNERVILLE, NEVADA, United States 01-05-11
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Great Book"

    If you like Adam Carolla, you will love this book. I like the fact that the audiobook is different, or better, from the book. Adam is great!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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