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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... Audiobook

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1623 )
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4.4 (1067 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10 Member Since 2009
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    "Hilarious Book"

    This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

    12 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dan savage, mn 01-30-13
    Dan savage, mn 01-30-13 Member Since 2015
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    "Very simular to his second book"
    Any additional comments?

    The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bill Hogan Wilmington, DE, USA 01-01-15
    Bill Hogan Wilmington, DE, USA 01-01-15
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    "Not the book - really an autobiography"
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    Wanted the book in audio format for a long car ride...got a rambling autobiography with tiny pieces in the book laced in. What a disappointment!!


    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Edmund W. Cheung Playa Del Rey, CA USA 07-10-13
    Edmund W. Cheung Playa Del Rey, CA USA 07-10-13 Member Since 2002
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    "Don't like my review...well too !#%$!#% bad."
    What would have made In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... better?

    My title summaries what I think of this book and his rant. Tried to listen but shut the book down half way and deleted it. Was NOT funny except for small bits scattered. Too much needless !#$%!#$^ swearing. Perhaps if I grew up in the south and was a "good ole boy" I would have enjoyed it. OH WAIT, I did grow up in Missoura and Alabama.... still did not like the book. There are a few funny parts and I completely agree that America has turned soft.


    Has In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... turned you off from other books in this genre?

    yes. will avoid the rants


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Adam Carolla?

    no one. he is fine and has his own character and style. I do respect that.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    few funny parts and I completely agree that America has turned soft.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jessica Maris lansdale, pa United States 02-25-13
    Jessica Maris lansdale, pa United States 02-25-13
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    "Not bad"
    Any additional comments?

    This is a fun book.... Usually. Yes, I agree, every story cant be hilarious but sometimes he just gets on a tangents that sound very unpolished - like an angry rant that isnt even part of a comedy bit.... which is both good and bad. I'm a fan of the story and that it is narrated by Adam, he does a decent job. Overall, I think I would only recommend this to few certian people. Personally I liked about 75% of the book which in my opinion is enough to give it a great rating :)

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christopher 02-21-13
    Christopher 02-21-13 Member Since 2015

    A Happy-go-lucky Irishman

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    "Rant but no rave"
    Would you try another book from Adam Carolla and/or Adam Carolla?

    Simply... no.


    What was most disappointing about Adam Carolla’s story?

    The material was convincingly disearnest.He makes many half-baked observations which rail against artists, music and mores that are at times valid, but build into a crescendo of tirades that annoyed me. When peppered with expletives, this only pushes decent people away (even when his tongue is firmly planted in his cheek). So you are angry...Try impressing me with some cadence that doesn't hang on the coattails of Dennis Miller or George Carlin.They made points by having us appreciate the irony of a seeming infallibile viewpoint, and then stepping back and laughing at themselves. This was not an inclusive listening experience.Carolla is probably most effective in live performances where the competition is keen, and the rule of the jungle applies.Here in this venue ,it does not.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Adam Carolla’s performances?

    again...no


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Annoyance and despair over the state of modern comedy


    Any additional comments?

    When you hear him read his this story, one cannot disagree with many of the criticisms or accusations made, but after awhile they begin to feel hurtful and inauthentic. They sound too much like someone who is not aware of power of their own words.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Valerie Salt Lake City, UT, United States 09-10-12
    Valerie Salt Lake City, UT, United States 09-10-12 Member Since 2014

    OD

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    "Disappointment."

    I was expecting more humor. It's more of an autobiography. When I stopped laughing for 20 minutes, I stopped listening.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    V. Zander Tucson 04-24-12
    V. Zander Tucson 04-24-12 Member Since 2009

    V Zander

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    "couldn't finish it"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Anyone who is quite angry at society, people and life in general.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Adam Carolla again?

    No thank you. I couldn't finish this one.


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    I liked the fact that he was improvising (which, apparently is due to the fact that he can't really read). I did not, however, like his long rants. Plus, he just seemed to contradict himself all the time.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    It has its moments...


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rodger 02-13-12
    Rodger 02-13-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Don't waste a credit on this one."
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    The book is a continuous attempt to shock the reader with profanity and opinions that just gets old well before the end. Some of the material is funny but the delivery is awful. I reached the conclusion that the writer/narrator is one of those egotistical, narcissistic people that he rants about in the book.


    Would you recommend In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to your friends? Why or why not?

    No. The same kind of comedy can be found on free podcasts or satellite radio.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    Too much ad lib. Adam Corolla is the narrator so it doesn't come across as an audiobook. It is presented more as a series of topical podcasts with Adam talking directly to the listener. This is not entirely a bad thing but is unusual for an audible title to be narrated in this way. I listen to his podcast on a weekly basis but did not care for his book.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    At least 5000 of the 10,000 or so F...... words could be eliminated with no harm to the book or the narration.
    Repeated references to what a terrible mother and father he had could be reduced to only those in the first chapter which deals with his childhood and teenage years.
    The over-exaggeration of Adam's intellectual deficiencies is un-necessary.





    7 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David New York, NY, United States 12-26-11
    David New York, NY, United States 12-26-11 Member Since 2010
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    "disappointing"
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    In the first chapter Adam lets us know that he never learned to read nor write. Not a promising way to start a B-O-O-K.


    Any additional comments?

    Some funny moments, but Adam is much funnier on spontaneous radio shows instead of this scripted fare.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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