We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
 >   > 
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy | [Adam Carolla]

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
Regular Price:$23.93
  • Membership Details:
    • First book free with 30-day trial
    • $14.95/month thereafter for your choice of 1 new book each month
    • Cancel easily anytime
    • Exchange books you don't like
    • All selected books are yours to keep, even if you cancel
  • - or -

Your Likes make Audible better!

'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

OK

Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (1225 )
5 star
 (683)
4 star
 (294)
3 star
 (145)
2 star
 (51)
1 star
 (52)
Overall
4.1 (701 )
5 star
 (336)
4 star
 (187)
3 star
 (111)
2 star
 (39)
1 star
 (28)
Story
4.4 (704 )
5 star
 (435)
4 star
 (149)
3 star
 (78)
2 star
 (21)
1 star
 (21)
Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10
    Brett Yorba Linda, CA, United States 12-03-10 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    23
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    "Hilarious Book"

    This book is awesome. The fact the "Ace" (Adam Carolla) reads it himself makes it even better. I laughed so many times while listening to this book that I had to stop it just to catch my breath on a few ocassions. Kudos to Adam for writing this and pointing out the little things in life that are both irritating and funny. If you like witty and ocassionally offensive sarcasm, you would be a fool not to buy this book. Thanks for reading this Adam. No other reader could have made it as good as you did.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Scott Lafayette, CA, United States 02-18-11
    Scott Lafayette, CA, United States 02-18-11 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    169
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    69
    31
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    1
    0
    Overall
    "absolutely loved it! well worth the credits!"

    I wasn't sure that i was going to be able to deal with 6 hours straight of Adams corolla rants but this was the funniest audio book I have ever heard. Im going to get the written book so I can read some excerpts from to my friends and family. Not only is it funny but its right on I believe in almost everything he said except Immigation ( white guys don't do any hard labor jobs for me in my area no matter how poor they are) but I digress , this is a must for all guys. all previous negative comments must be from chicks

    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Boris Langenhagen, Germany 02-04-13
    Boris Langenhagen, Germany 02-04-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    7
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "It was not my thing at all!"
    Would you try another book from Adam Carolla and/or Adam Carolla?

    No.


    What could Adam Carolla have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    I don't think it would be possible. I definitely don't belong to his target group.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Adam Carolla’s performances?

    No.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    I was trying to give the book back, but it is not possible any more automatically. I have to call somewhere outside Europe but I don't understand why. It is very disappointing.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dan san diego, ca 01-30-13
    Dan san diego, ca 01-30-13 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    17
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very simular to his second book"
    Any additional comments?

    The first half of this book was the same stories as his second book. After that it was damn funny

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Randall Young Danville, CA 10-05-12
    Randall Young Danville, CA 10-05-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    3
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Yawn"
    What did you like best about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...? What did you like least?

    There wasn't much to like. Quite a bit not to like.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Adam Carolla? Why or why not?

    Doubtful


    What three words best describe Adam Carolla’s voice?

    Boring, Self-promoting and very out of touch


    Could you see In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

    I don't see it


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patricia Fort Sumner, NM, United States 07-28-12
    Patricia Fort Sumner, NM, United States 07-28-12 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    11
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Disjointed ranting."
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Someone with a redder neck than mine. I'm a pipeline welder.


    What could Adam Carolla have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    I think I would have enjoyed this book if I had polished off a fifth of JD before I started listening to it, but I listen to audiobooks as I drive to the job site......so, not such a good plan.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Adam Carolla’s performances?

    No.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Travis Durham, NC, United States 04-01-12
    Travis Durham, NC, United States 04-01-12 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    277
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A vast wasteland of a book"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    If you prefer your information in comedian nuggets such as,


    Would you ever listen to anything by Adam Carolla again?

    No.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    By delivering it as a stand-up routine in an empty room.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    Audio form for this book was just a bad idea.


    Any additional comments?

    I discovered double-time playback on my device--the only way I could suffer through this book was to get it over in half time. I kept waiting for anything of redeeming value--surely the book is going to turn the corner. It never happens.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rodger United States 02-13-12
    Rodger United States 02-13-12 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    5
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    72
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Don't waste a credit on this one."
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    The book is a continuous attempt to shock the reader with profanity and opinions that just gets old well before the end. Some of the material is funny but the delivery is awful. I reached the conclusion that the writer/narrator is one of those egotistical, narcissistic people that he rants about in the book.


    Would you recommend In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to your friends? Why or why not?

    No. The same kind of comedy can be found on free podcasts or satellite radio.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    Too much ad lib. Adam Corolla is the narrator so it doesn't come across as an audiobook. It is presented more as a series of topical podcasts with Adam talking directly to the listener. This is not entirely a bad thing but is unusual for an audible title to be narrated in this way. I listen to his podcast on a weekly basis but did not care for his book.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    At least 5000 of the 10,000 or so F...... words could be eliminated with no harm to the book or the narration.
    Repeated references to what a terrible mother and father he had could be reduced to only those in the first chapter which deals with his childhood and teenage years.
    The over-exaggeration of Adam's intellectual deficiencies is un-necessary.





    5 of 7 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jon Saratoga Springs, UT, United States 02-13-12
    Jon Saratoga Springs, UT, United States 02-13-12 Member Since 2004

    Dogwillhunt

    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    17
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "This was just sad to listen to"
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    Some evidence of personal growth by the author from his experiences.


    What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

    I wished I could have gotten the time back.


    How could the performance have been better?

    Had he actually been able to read.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    He tells a good story. A struggle to get from a dead-end life into something that meant more to him. Unfortunately, he didn't learn anything in the process. Change his name to Mike and put him on a construction site and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I did the same thing, I identified with his story because I lived it to. Listening to him rant was just like listening to the Mikes rant, and I thought he should have learned something more from his experience.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Thor Avon, CT, United States 08-16-11
    Thor Avon, CT, United States 08-16-11 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    243
    2
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    "F***ing funny - NOT"

    Since when did using the f-word in every sentence become humour? This guy should listen to himself, and refrain from trying to be funny - he is not!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 108 results PREVIOUS1211NEXT

    There are no listener reviews for this title yet.

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

CANCEL

Thank You

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.