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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... Audiobook

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1587 )
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Performance
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  •  
    David New York, NY, United States 12-26-11
    David New York, NY, United States 12-26-11 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "disappointing"
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    In the first chapter Adam lets us know that he never learned to read nor write. Not a promising way to start a B-O-O-K.


    Any additional comments?

    Some funny moments, but Adam is much funnier on spontaneous radio shows instead of this scripted fare.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Gregory Port Angeles, WA, United States 11-10-10
    Gregory Port Angeles, WA, United States 11-10-10
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    "Adam says what we're all afraid to say"

    The title should probably say stand up and let em dangle. Adam says what we all want to say but stays humble and true to his roots. This audiobook is not a direct read from the book and is all over the map so if you already have the book (like me) get this audiobook as well to experience the full essence of Carolla, the visceral carnal spanking that society needs and Adam delivers. Thanks Ace.

    20 of 30 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kitsuno 11-20-10
    Kitsuno 11-20-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Adam IS the Voice of Reason"

    Adam Carolla might rant and rave, but it's pretty much what every reasonable person is already thinking- or would be if the crazy left or right wing didn't try to guilt or bully them out of it. The left and the right might be loud, might have the soapbox, and each might be the flip-side of the same two-party coin, but Adam just tells it like it is, and illustrates time and time again that most people just plain don't think things through, or think critically enough to form reasonable or realistic opinions about anything. Adam's the blue collar hammer-swinging version of Jon Stewart, and not afraid to take on majority opinion or skewer the sacred cows. Adam is a great reader - and equally good at digression - so get an entertaining lesson in common sense with Adam Carolla, and download this now!

    13 of 21 people found this review helpful
  •  
    shari rancho cucamonga, CA, United States 11-02-10
    shari rancho cucamonga, CA, United States 11-02-10
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    "Adam Carolla does no wrong..."

    Plain and simple...
    there is no honesty... no true insight... no opinions these days. Adam Carolla is the truth.
    Check out his podcasts.
    from old lovelines to his true self in his podcasts u can't find better...
    always insightful...

    22 of 36 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Patricia M 07-28-12
    Patricia M 07-28-12 Member Since 2016
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    "Disjointed ranting."
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    Someone with a redder neck than mine. I'm a pipeline welder.


    What could Adam Carolla have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    I think I would have enjoyed this book if I had polished off a fifth of JD before I started listening to it, but I listen to audiobooks as I drive to the job site......so, not such a good plan.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Adam Carolla’s performances?

    No.


    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Travis Durham, NC, United States 04-01-12
    Travis Durham, NC, United States 04-01-12 Member Since 2005
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    "A vast wasteland of a book"
    This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

    If you prefer your information in comedian nuggets such as,


    Would you ever listen to anything by Adam Carolla again?

    No.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    By delivering it as a stand-up routine in an empty room.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    Audio form for this book was just a bad idea.


    Any additional comments?

    I discovered double-time playback on my device--the only way I could suffer through this book was to get it over in half time. I kept waiting for anything of redeeming value--surely the book is going to turn the corner. It never happens.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Denis Houston, TX, United States 06-15-11
    Denis Houston, TX, United States 06-15-11 Member Since 2012
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    "Dull and Duller"

    Just the dullest hour and a half of my life. Not funny and no point to any of it as far as I could tell.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Anthony D. Tortorella 06-11-11 Member Since 2005
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    "Buyer Beware!"

    I have never before written a review for Audible, no matter how good nor how bad I found the audiobook. But I can't let this one go by.

    This book is absolutely dull. Well, I speak for the first 1 hour and 12 minutes of it. Because, I persevered that long and tried to give it a chance. But I couldn't waste any more time.

    Someone else will have to write the review to let me know if the remaining 5 1/2 hours is what makes it worth the listen.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lance Phoenix, AZ, United States 05-03-11
    Lance Phoenix, AZ, United States 05-03-11 Member Since 2009
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    "couldn't put it down"

    Loved this book! It's a bonus that Adam did the narration. The writing is very intelligent and articulate. So refreshing to hear someone speak freely without being worried about political correctness. Hope there is a 2nd edition!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Perry Sun Valley, CA, United States 12-16-10
    Perry Sun Valley, CA, United States 12-16-10 Member Since 2004
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    "a little disappointed.."

    This is one of the first books I have purchased from Audible I just could not finish. While I love his sarcasm, I think his stories are a little more interesting to him then they are to anyone else. It has its moments.. just not enough of them. And his voice eventually is just irritating.

    15 of 25 people found this review helpful

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