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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy | [Adam Carolla]

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    shari rancho cucamonga, CA, United States 11-02-10
    shari rancho cucamonga, CA, United States 11-02-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Adam Carolla does no wrong..."

    Plain and simple...
    there is no honesty... no true insight... no opinions these days. Adam Carolla is the truth.
    Check out his podcasts.
    from old lovelines to his true self in his podcasts u can't find better...
    always insightful...

    22 of 33 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Gregory Port Angeles, WA, United States 11-10-10
    Gregory Port Angeles, WA, United States 11-10-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Adam says what we're all afraid to say"

    The title should probably say stand up and let em dangle. Adam says what we all want to say but stays humble and true to his roots. This audiobook is not a direct read from the book and is all over the map so if you already have the book (like me) get this audiobook as well to experience the full essence of Carolla, the visceral carnal spanking that society needs and Adam delivers. Thanks Ace.

    18 of 27 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rodger 02-13-12
    Rodger 02-13-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    ratings
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    "Don't waste a credit on this one."
    What disappointed you about In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    The book is a continuous attempt to shock the reader with profanity and opinions that just gets old well before the end. Some of the material is funny but the delivery is awful. I reached the conclusion that the writer/narrator is one of those egotistical, narcissistic people that he rants about in the book.


    Would you recommend In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... to your friends? Why or why not?

    No. The same kind of comedy can be found on free podcasts or satellite radio.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    Too much ad lib. Adam Corolla is the narrator so it doesn't come across as an audiobook. It is presented more as a series of topical podcasts with Adam talking directly to the listener. This is not entirely a bad thing but is unusual for an audible title to be narrated in this way. I listen to his podcast on a weekly basis but did not care for his book.


    If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...?

    At least 5000 of the 10,000 or so F...... words could be eliminated with no harm to the book or the narration.
    Repeated references to what a terrible mother and father he had could be reduced to only those in the first chapter which deals with his childhood and teenage years.
    The over-exaggeration of Adam's intellectual deficiencies is un-necessary.





    6 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Scott Lafayette, CA, United States 02-18-11
    Scott Lafayette, CA, United States 02-18-11 Member Since 2005
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    "absolutely loved it! well worth the credits!"

    I wasn't sure that i was going to be able to deal with 6 hours straight of Adams corolla rants but this was the funniest audio book I have ever heard. Im going to get the written book so I can read some excerpts from to my friends and family. Not only is it funny but its right on I believe in almost everything he said except Immigation ( white guys don't do any hard labor jobs for me in my area no matter how poor they are) but I digress , this is a must for all guys. all previous negative comments must be from chicks

    4 of 6 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amy HARRISBURG, NC, United States 07-16-12
    Amy HARRISBURG, NC, United States 07-16-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Adam Carolla for President!"

    I loved this book! While I only know of Adam from The Man Show and Love Lines, this book made me fall in love with him - oh, only if he were a single man. Let's face it, he is funny. In addition, he truly has common sense views on so many subjects; I have cited several of his common sense views on topics, like peanuts in schools (or lack thereof), to my co-workers. I liked finding out that he is very down to earth and not affected by the Hollywood b*&L$^t. I laughed out loud so many times during the listening of this book. Another book soon, please, Adam!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Corey brooklyn, NY, United States 02-09-12
    Corey brooklyn, NY, United States 02-09-12 Member Since 2009

    Hi, I'm Corey I'm a student at NYU studying international relations. If you ever wanna talk about books facebook me Gunslingermoore@gmail

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    "Outstanding"
    Would you listen to In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... again? Why?

    Really it was pretty hilarious and very inspiring.


    Have you listened to any of Adam Carolla’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No I saw him on the man show and One extremely underrated movie the Hammer ( which is a really great movie go out and watch it )


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yeah plain ride, Car ride, or a bs boring job this will get you through whatever.


    Any additional comments?

    Well worth the price you can go wrong with this one.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lance Phoenix, AZ, United States 05-03-11
    Lance Phoenix, AZ, United States 05-03-11 Member Since 2003
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    "couldn't put it down"

    Loved this book! It's a bonus that Adam did the narration. The writing is very intelligent and articulate. So refreshing to hear someone speak freely without being worried about political correctness. Hope there is a 2nd edition!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Perry Sun Valley, CA, United States 12-16-10
    Perry Sun Valley, CA, United States 12-16-10 Member Since 2004
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    "a little disappointed.."

    This is one of the first books I have purchased from Audible I just could not finish. While I love his sarcasm, I think his stories are a little more interesting to him then they are to anyone else. It has its moments.. just not enough of them. And his voice eventually is just irritating.

    13 of 22 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Greg san carlos, CA, United States 11-07-10
    Greg san carlos, CA, United States 11-07-10 Member Since 2010
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    "Truth"

    With all the sledge that inhabits our society these days, Adam Carolla, through his book as well as his other forms of media, has managed to bring me some hope for our society. In addition to being one of the funniest, most enjoyable reads I have had in a while, it is the truth and validity in his views on life that make this book such a rewarding and relevant accomplishment.

    13 of 22 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kitsuno 11-20-10
    Kitsuno 11-20-10
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    "Adam IS the Voice of Reason"

    Adam Carolla might rant and rave, but it's pretty much what every reasonable person is already thinking- or would be if the crazy left or right wing didn't try to guilt or bully them out of it. The left and the right might be loud, might have the soapbox, and each might be the flip-side of the same two-party coin, but Adam just tells it like it is, and illustrates time and time again that most people just plain don't think things through, or think critically enough to form reasonable or realistic opinions about anything. Adam's the blue collar hammer-swinging version of Jon Stewart, and not afraid to take on majority opinion or skewer the sacred cows. Adam is a great reader - and equally good at digression - so get an entertaining lesson in common sense with Adam Carolla, and download this now!

    10 of 17 people found this review helpful
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