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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks... Audiobook

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks...: And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

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Publisher's Summary

"A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II."

It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints, Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

©2010 Adam Carolla (P)2010 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"If comedy books were a big-breasted porn collection, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon." (Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and best-selling author of The Book of Basketball)

"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."(Jimmy Kimmel)

“I don’t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla’s humor - fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny - sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”(Ken Burns)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.3 (1547 )
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Performance
Sort by:
  •  
    Eric 12-26-11
    Eric 12-26-11 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "good stuff"

    This audio book was very entertaining. Part bio, part motivational, part comedy. The audio book allowed Adam to go off the script, he wasnt limited to just reading his book. In fact, it seemed like he used the book as more of an outline. This performance of his was so much more than his paper book can possibly provide. It is an interesting view on a number of subjects, a good life story, and all the while funny. Too much foul language though, but I never stopped listening.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Craig Ballwin, MO, United States 11-23-11
    Craig Ballwin, MO, United States 11-23-11 Member Since 2011
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    "Angry, Middle-Aged and Flippin' Hilarious"

    This biography/griping session made me look forward to getting in my car every morning for work, plugging in the 'ol iPod and listening to Carolla give people a piece of his mind. Prepare to laugh and tell people about this one at the office.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Heidie Verona, KY, United States 11-11-11
    Heidie Verona, KY, United States 11-11-11 Member Since 2011
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    2
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    "Adam is very entertaining"

    If you like the Adam Carolla podcast, you'll love this book. He is not afraid to let you know how he feels about everything. LOL funny at times.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Miles Benson 10-20-11 Member Since 2002
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    "Carolla delivers in the audio book."

    This is the only audio book I've every "read" where the reader ad-libs during the narrative. George Carlin just read his books. Adam actually seems to just be using the narrative as a guide and goes off on occasional tangents that aren't in the book. Very entertainning.

    I compare him to George Carlin because the subject matter is a similar "rant at the world".

    Excellent performance. Only gave the story 4 stars because it may be too vulgar for some listeners.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kindle Customer United States 10-17-11
    Kindle Customer United States 10-17-11 Member Since 2010
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    "Hilarious"

    Caution: trashy language but you cannot help but crack up! Actually a pretty inspiring rags to riches story. Proves that nothing is impossible if you keep focused on what you really want.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael Santa Maria, CA, United States 10-14-11
    Michael Santa Maria, CA, United States 10-14-11 Member Since 2016
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    "Save your money/credit, just buy Dennis Leary"

    As in the title of this review, save your money and buy Dennis Leary. This is just 6 hours and 42 minutes of the unfunny rant of Carolla. The entire "book" is a contradiction. The speaker attempts to make a point then almost immediately contradicts himself. He portrays himself as an elitist that picked himself up from nothing and brags about it regularly. Ok, we get it.
    This "book" is basically Carolla stating what he likes and what he doesn't like. And if you like what he dislikes, you're an idiot, or as he regularly uses, a "p*ssy". And Carolla uses "f*ck" too much. This doesn't make one seem tough or manly, as I'm sure Carolla believes, it makes one seem unintelligent. Which this barely literate, unfunny, high school graduate truly demonstrates this is him.
    I had high hopes, but like much of anything Carolla does, I was let down by the same "America is going to the liberals" and "whoa is me, I'm a poor white male, feel sorry for me". Just buy Dennis Leary "Why We Suck". It's basically the same thing, but at least Leary offers laughs and is at times clever.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    CmH - HB, CA 10-11-11 Member Since 2013
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    "Unconventional. Straight shooter. Funny and raw"

    After a slow start this book was very entertaining and completely unpredictable. I've never found Corolla's work very funny before - mostly on TV. This book changed my mind. Be careful, though. It's rough and raw....and FUNNY.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    michael Locust Grove, GA, United States 10-06-11
    michael Locust Grove, GA, United States 10-06-11 Member Since 2012
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    "better then the actual book"

    this audio book is more like a 7 hour rant by adam. if you like his podcast, you will love this book! its just like the podcast, but without the guests. its adam in his prime. he even goes on rants that arent in the real book. it was supper fun to listen to, and a must listen for anyone that likes tell it like it is non politically correct humor!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Adam Gotha, FL, United States 07-22-11
    Adam Gotha, FL, United States 07-22-11 Member Since 2001
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    "Fantastic"

    One of the best books in Audible. Rarely will I listen to a book more than once but this book is a blast!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Daniel Rochster, NY, United States 06-24-11
    Daniel Rochster, NY, United States 06-24-11
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    "Ace Aces"

    Loved the riff aspect of his recording. I really couldn't imagine Adam reading his book verbatim, and I guess he felt the same way (thankfully). Highly entertaining listen, exceeding all of my expectations. Well, he is a radio professional, and I love to listen to his shows, so why was I so surprised? Listening to his delivery is like having a chance to casually hang with the guy, like we're best friends. How about introducing me to Jimmy, Adam?

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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