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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
- A Parody for Adults
- Narrated by: Bobcat Goldthwait
- Length: 2 mins
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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
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Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,230
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,701
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,635
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11
They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful to hear these voices again
- By LucilleB on 05-03-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3 out of 5 stars 22
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story3 out of 5 stars 21
Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Oof.
- By D on 05-09-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,100
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 976
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Story4 out of 5 stars 972
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,731
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,211
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,955
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,032
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,641
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,616
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story5 out of 5 stars 27
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuckles with “Titting About”
- By Robin Johnston on 05-04-24
By: Dawn French, and others
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Brackish Waters
- By: Matt Boren
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,300
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,968
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,927
When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
What listeners say about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Jaysinism
- 04-29-20
I’m confused
I don’t understand how this book is only 2 minutes long? I listened to it but I feel like I am missing something. Is this like a preview to buy the hard copy book or something? I’m not sure why I wasted an audible credit on something that’s not even complete?
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- AdhesiveRaptor
- 08-01-12
Sadly Disappointing
Would you try another book from Marcy Roznick and/or Bobcat Goldthwait?
No
Would you ever listen to anything by Marcy Roznick again?
No
Would you be willing to try another one of Bobcat Goldthwait’s performances?
Bobcat used to be funny. That was a waste of time and money.
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
Disappointment
Any additional comments?
I wish someone would have warned me.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kevin Meares
- 11-03-18
Hilarious and cheap
You may have heard the Samuel L Jackson narration of Go The F*ck To Sleep, this doesn’t disappoint
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 11-12-18
Just Bad
Marcy Roznick uses bad language as crutch to support his bad jokes.
#satire #sweepstakes #tagsgiving
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Southerncoder
- 09-19-15
terrible story. I like the go to f to sleep series
this was simply terrible. not the same as the go the f to sleep series
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