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If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults | [Marcy Roznick]

If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.
Regular Price:$0.93
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Publisher's Summary

Before they Go the F**k to Sleep, they need to Shut the F**k Up. If you give a kid a cookie, will he shut the f**k up? That is the question at the heart of this hilarious, deeply honest, profanity-laced book for parents who will do whatever it takes for a moment’s peace.

What really happens when you give in to your child’s tantrums? The events that follow this seemingly simple act will test parents to the breaking point… while entertaining the millions of us who have been there ourselves (and lived to tell). Also a cautionary and instructive tale for new parents, If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up? is a must-have for every family library collection. Just keep it on the top shelf.

©2011 Marcy Roznick (P)2011 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

2.8 (54 )
5 star
 (8)
4 star
 (8)
3 star
 (16)
2 star
 (11)
1 star
 (11)
Overall
2.7 (50 )
5 star
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4 star
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3 star
 (12)
2 star
 (12)
1 star
 (13)
Story
3.0 (50 )
5 star
 (9)
4 star
 (14)
3 star
 (7)
2 star
 (8)
1 star
 (12)
Performance
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  •  
    Jim Westlake, OH, United States 02-01-12
    Jim Westlake, OH, United States 02-01-12 Member Since 2005
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
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    2
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    "Did any of the previous reviewers ACTUALLY LISTEN?"

    First of all, you GOTTA be kidding me! An average of only 2.5-to-3.0 stars???

    Really, Nation???

    This is a PARODY of "Go The F**k To Sleep," which was originally narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "Go The F**k To Sleep"... Samuel L. Jackson.

    And now the resultant "Go The F**k To Sleep" PARODY, "If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?: A Parody for Adults," was, likewise, narrated by the only voice on the planet which could have possibly narrated "If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up?"... Bobcat Goldthwait!

    What kind of narrator were people honestly expecting to read this book aloud to them? Stefan Rudnicki?????

    As for the vapid criticism of Mr. Goldthwait's narration performance, are any of the previous reviewers who specifically cited Mr. Goldthwait's narration skills, actually FAMILIAR with Mr. Goldthwait's comedic talents and his unique sense of timing a line for maximum effect?

    I can understand that a few folks who are tight with a buck might be a little bummed that they had to pay $0.93 (if they missed the free for a day gift from Audible) for only 2 minutes of material. Oh, well...

    As for myself, I feel that Marcy Roznick wrote a GREAT little parody and that Macmillan Audio gets bonus points for actually having taken the time to properly voice this short gem by hiring Mr. Goldthwait.

    Kudos all around for a rare, comedic gem!

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tracey 03-04-13
    Tracey 03-04-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    145
    7
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    1
    7
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    "Off Color Humor"

    Ok, this is probably funnier to me than it should be, but I am a teacher and have seen every form of: If you give a ..., book. When I downloaded this, I didn't know if it would actually cuss or just bleep out the cuss words, be forewarned that it does actually cuss. If you are offended by the f--- word, do not download this. But if you are not, it is definitely good for a chuckle, especially if you have some background with the books that it is a parody.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Lawrenceville, GA United States 12-17-14
    Amazon Customer Lawrenceville, GA United States 12-17-14 Member Since 2007

    Elvyra

    ratings
    REVIEWS
    38
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Ok - ISH"

    I didnt like it as much as much as Go The F--- to Sleep. I thought it was not as funny or cute.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Missa Fleck 12-13-14
    Missa Fleck 12-13-14 Member Since 2014
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    14
    5
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "a poor man's "go the f&$@ to sleep""

    not nearly as good. if you can get Go the F&#$ to Sleep, get that instead. the only good part was Bobcats performance.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lisa United States 10-05-12
    Lisa United States 10-05-12
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Awesome"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I loved it and it gave me a laugh!


    What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

    It ended as expected but the humour through out kept you thinking and on your toes!


    Do you think If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    Why not...a little humour never hurt when it comes to kids and parenting!


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KAREN Randallstown, MD, United States 04-09-12
    KAREN Randallstown, MD, United States 04-09-12
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "It was okay for what it was"
    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I am familiar with the If You Give a Kid a Cookie books and this was my first Audible purchase. I mostly just wanted to see how the program worked. The sound is good, but the text came on a little strong for my taste. I don't know if its only the text or the combinationn of text and voice of Bobcat Goldthwait. So, it's over the top (IMHO) for the text, but mild for Goldthwait.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sammy2bt Newark, NJ, United States 01-30-12
    Sammy2bt Newark, NJ, United States 01-30-12 Member Since 2012
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    11
    4
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Tee hee."
    What did you love best about If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up??

    I loved the way it comes all the way back around. Like a circle. Or better yet like a cookie!!!


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    Well the narrator made obvious the preparation he has to do for the voice. The long pauses...nah. Didn't like that.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yep


    Any additional comments?

    Don't give the damn greedy kid the cookie. Send him to bed.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    missmica 06-09-14
    missmica 06-09-14 Member Since 2011
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    9
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "uuugghh"
    What would have made If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F--k Up? better?

    This isNOTHING like go the fuck to sleep. Bobcat doesnt do a good job.And the story isnt fun or funny like go the fuck to sleep. Godo thing it was only a buck


    Would you ever listen to anything by Marcy Roznick again?

    Maybe


    What didn’t you like about Bobcat Goldthwait’s performance?

    Uugghhh the story sucked


    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Le_Halogen 01-14-14
    Le_Halogen 01-14-14

    I'm not much into audiobooks but its a good icebreaker when I'm not playing video-games.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not what I had in mind."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    If the writing had more sense than just slap-in humor, it could have been better.


    What could Marcy Roznick have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

    The narration was abnormal, it could have sounded more audible in the first place but it had me thinking if it was funny or just plain stupid.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Simply disappointed, how could they even let this book match up with "Go the F--k to sleep"?


    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jacob 04-30-12
    Jacob 04-30-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    4
    2
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    0
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    "Waste of 2 minutes"

    I thought it was going to be a little bit funny. A total waste of time and money! I want my 95 cents back!

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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