How to Fight Presidents

Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country

By: Daniel O'Brien

Narrated by: Richard McGonagle

Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins

Publisher's summary

Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.

As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.

And now these men - these hallowed leaders of the free world - want to kick your ass.

Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.

©2014 Daniel O'Brien (P)2014 Random House Audio

Super funny, but WHERE'S CARTER!?!

Seriously. What happened to Carter? Is he just too close to a saint for anybody to fight?

History that will leave you crying (w/ laughter!)

I completely enjoyed this well researched and completely unorthodox approach to American History. May I suggest a companion book which pits the presidents against each other? I'd expect a a final four of Washington, Jackson, Lincoln, & TR? (smart money is on TR!)

So funny!

I really enjoyed this book. I wish history class in high school had been this interesting.

Great read

Loved the performance and the story is a combination of hilarity and historical facts. Definitely worth a read, particularly for cracked fans.

The best book bought all year

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

It's fun. It is educational. It's definitely like no other I have read about presidents.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Lincoln starting a fight with the gang leader and carrying really big rocks.

Have you listened to any of Richard McGonagle’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

First one. Wow!

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The part of " I am George F ****** Washington..." set the pace.

Any additional comments?

Could not put it down! TR is over the top.

Can't kick pres ass, because I'm peeing laughing!

Any additional comments?

Hillarious book, with interesting presidential facts to take away! Learning, cursing, AND laughing? Sign me up!! The content will make you laugh, and give you facts that will make you more interesting at dinner parties.

Great Stories; Lots of Expletives

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would love to recommend this, but I would definitely let everyone know the book is full of expletives and course humor. (You can get a feel for the direction the author takes in the title of the book). Some is part of the overall irreverent tone - which makes this book the fun listen that it is. Yet, I think the author could have expressed the same points with less profanity. It is not something I could listen to over and over because of my sensitivity to not wanting such words in my head. Reading the book might be better if you don't want to hear those words spoken over and over. It is unfortunate, since the stories about the presidents are great.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Lots of laughs, but did not appreciate the amount of chosen expletives.

Kicked some executive branch ass...

Holy crap this was great!
A very unexpected selection from an Audible editor's choice list. Utterly fascinating highlights of every president (prior to George Bush, Sr) that include fighting prowess, levels of insanity, strange habits and superhuman comparisons. Told in the style of someone sitting across the kitchen table making you laugh so hard milk shoots out your nose. A thoroughly enjoyable listen that I am still giggling over.

Fun listen

This book made me laugh and I look forward to listening to it more times in the future. I learned that there is no chance I would ever take on Jackson but van buran or Taft I could probably beat. Fun listen and got me intrigued to learn more about some presidents.

Funny, but un-necessary profanity

I tripped on this title when looking at a distribution map what people are listening to. This was in the humor category. My dad is a seventy-something history professor who loves the bizarre little-known quirks of history, so I got this for him. Then I listened to it. While I think it is very funny and I have laughed out loud several times, I had to warn my father that the language might be offensive to him. I also found out that being a horse belonging to a president is just as dangerous as living in Cabot Cove. They got shot - a lot.