There are no pretty pictures in this book. Pretty pictures are for soft minds. Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin listening to chapters from this audiobook when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids. These stories will be read directly to the precious, darling angel growing in one of your wives' belly so at the moment of birth, the "child" (as we will call it) will be fully educated into the proper way of thinking.
Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to listen to this audiobook itself. It will require your careful supervision as the parent to ensure that the proper lessons are learned from the words contained herein. When the child is removed from your home for mandatory public indoctrination at your own expense, the child will be tested for its knowledge of these principles. Children who do not pass a written test will be sent to the Pain Mines of Wyoming for further processing and the parents of that child will be processed for whatever byproducts can be produced in the rendering process. This audiobook should be listened in a sneering, sarcastic manner so the child will be aware of the foolishness of Socialist thinking. When the child is old enough to have it done without killing it, the child should be spanked on the naked buttocks, with the book, if the child laughs at any part herein.
©2014 William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. (P)2014 William M. Schmalfeld, Sr.
This one vacillates between a 3 and a 4 for me, but that was because I probably wasn't expecting the language or the blasphemous scenario (I get that the author didn't mean it that way, exactly).
The narrator was great, and the humor was great. I found myself pretty engaged (between cringes...) It was shorter than I thought it would be. Take out the loose treatment of God, and I probably would have given it 5 stars. If the above doesn't bother you, you'll likely love it!
This book is not for the faint at heart. Do not read it if you do not have a sarcastic bone in your body or if you are easily offended. In other words, this book pretends to be racist and xenophobic. It is cleverly disguised as a story to children while in gestation, so it becomes obvious a satire. The narrorator, David Winograd, has a terrific expressive voice, so it helps with the satirical feeling of the story.
To be honest, yes. It's super hard to look past the xenophobia. As sarcastic as it is, one worries that there is a shred of truth in the passionate dialog.
It was hard to focus on characters.
I am at that half a century mark in years. I enjoy audiobooks,cats,rats and most days my family,not necessarily in that order!lol
I LOVE this!This guy has hit the nail on the head w/Americans attitudes toward our President and the jokers who are also opposing him.Great satire!
I've read no other book like this.
His sneering reading of the text is wonderful!
Yes,I laughed and laughed.
LOVED it!READ it!
yes actually , as a Muslim i think the first chapter in the the book was kind of offensive talking about God and Prophet Mohammed , so i skipped the whole chapter.so i would change or remove the first chapter
well as a middle eastern person , i couldn't understand most of the situations and joke , because i have a very little knowledge in the Political situation in the USA and Europe .
so maybe more Global Politic jokes??
the speaker ofcourese
no , but it was really fun reading
i would like to thank David , his voice really gave the book more fun aspect .
so thanks David
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