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Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World | [Stuart Diamond]

Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World

Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus on power and “win-win” instead of relationships and perceptions. They don’t find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions.
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Publisher's Summary

Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business, or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus on power and “win-win” instead of relationships and perceptions. They don’t find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions. They get distracted from their goals.

In this revolutionary book, leading negotiation practitioner and professor Stuart Diamond draws on the research and practice of 30,000 people he has taught and advised in 45 countries over two decades to outline specific, practical and better ways to deal with others. They range from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants, lawyers, housewives, students, and laborers. To this he adds his 40-year experience as an executive, Harvard-trained attorney, and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist.

Getting More is based on Professor Diamond’s award-winning negotiations course at The Wharton Business School, where it has been the most sought-after course by students for 13 years. It contains a powerful toolkit that can be used in any situation: with kids and jobs, travel and shopping, business, politics, relationships, cultures, partners and competitors.

The advice is addressed through the stories of hundreds of people who have used Diamond’s tools with great success. A 20% savings on an item already on sale. An extra $300 million profit in a business. A woman from India getting out of her own arranged marriage. A four-year-old willingly brushing his teeth and going to bed.

Instead of “win-win”, it sometimes makes more sense to lose today to get more tomorrow. The use of power, Diamond cautions, too often causes retaliation, harms relationships, and costs credibility. Walking out is almost never as good as understanding the other person’s perceptions and fixing the problem.

©2010 Stuart Diamond (P)2010 Random House

What the Critics Say

"This immensely useful book will have wide appeal and leave many readers anxious to put their new skills to work." (Kirkus)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Christian Washington, DC, United States 02-26-11
    Christian Washington, DC, United States 02-26-11
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    "This works"

    Bought both the paper and audio book. Using both you can digest the info faster.

    I am one of those high IQ low EQ personalities. The approach recommended in this book feels very uncomfortable but I can't question the results. I hold a senior executive position in my company and within a week of using just a few of the techniques in my day to day negotiations I had emails flying around my company wondering what had happened to me. Suddenly a number of significant impasses and personality rifts within the executive team had diminished. Won't say resolved after all I am "being incremental". Also practices in a number of minor situations in hotels, restaurants and shops and have scored a couple of hundred bucks of discounts and complementary items.

    The only problem for us low EQ types is that consciously using this stuff is tiring. In a 3 day straight strategy sessions where I was using these techniques all day every day I came away physically exhausted. When I came to work the day after I simply declared to everyone that I was reverting to type for the day so I could recharge. The day following that I went back to using "getting more". I hope that with practice I won't find this so draining. Even if it doesn't will keep using this anyway the results are awesome.

    31 of 31 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Neal United States 10-27-11
    Neal United States 10-27-11 Listener Since 2008
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    "Will help you in all walks of life"

    Bottom line: this is a great book with REAL WORLD applications that can be used not just in negotiations but in ANY human interaction.


    I wasn't sure about this book at first, but it had a lot of great reviews so I gave it a shot... I was first frustrated with the book because it would tease a lot of info or revisit points already covered and/or seemed 'obvious'.

    Getting deeper in the book it started to make sense. A lot of the things this book covers seem pretty obvious but it works, I recently found this out:

    I was having some major issues with a 'big bank' and they refused to reverse fees. After my wife spent over two days on the phone with them unsuccessful, I used some of the tactics in this book... took 15 minutes, and done -

    I'm now looking at more opportunities to utilize this information. I've read at least 4 different books on negotiation and another 4 on persuasion along with my BA in psych etc; this is a great book with REAL WORLD applications that can be used not just in negotiations but in human interaction.

    *You can read my many other reviews, I give my honest opinion of the books I get here - I would hope you do the same ;) Thanks for reading.

    18 of 18 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sean CLEBURNE, TX, United States 10-01-11
    Sean CLEBURNE, TX, United States 10-01-11
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    "Wow, just....Wow"

    I'm an avid reader. I read a few hours everyday, whether its in print, on my kindle, or in my ears. That said, some of my favorite topics include business development and sales/negotiation strategy. Of the latter category, this book stands out with a few of the rare, quality, others ("No" and "Getting to Yes", which are good books and should be read). Because of the content, its positive message and the paradigm shift this book encourages me, the reader, to take, I feel like I have already become a more understanding, and more effective, negotiator/communicator. Now I'm eager to try some of the suggestions around town before taking them in to my business.
    MUST READ, WELL WORTH THE PRICE, EXCELLENT VALUE, WILL RECOMMEND

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Thomas Chicago, IL, United States 01-30-11
    Thomas Chicago, IL, United States 01-30-11 Member Since 2004

    I struggled in the sixties to get a college education, barely graduated, spent a life in the phone company as a technician in a call center.

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    "The author shows good thinking."

    This is a practical counsel in practical ways to get the good things you want from others. As it goes on, I realized that the author is thinking very well, and is kind to others in a practical way. Towards the end he suggests some new ways of thinking about world terrorism and foreign policy, and I believe his solutions would work if we all listened to his counsel. We have been trying to smash others too long.

    7 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Casey East Point, GA, United States 04-11-13
    Casey East Point, GA, United States 04-11-13 Member Since 2011
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    "Genuine advice read by a sincere narrator"
    If you could sum up Getting More in three words, what would they be?

    Think of them. Meaning think of the other person as the most important party. It will guide your dialogue.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    The story of a woman getting a better outcome in a negotiation at work. It was closest to my current situation and the motivation for reading this book.


    Which character – as performed by Marc Cashman – was your favorite?

    n/a


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from Getting More?

    Obviously better negotiation. But his examples are just what I needed to help me apply the tips and techniques. He tells you both parties concerns and how they were met. I loved it! It's lengthy so you can imagine how much information is stuffed into this book. I can't stop bookmarking!!


    Any additional comments?

    The best book on negotiation and a great companion to How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Full of modern and recent examples!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joanna Chicago, IL, United States 12-30-12
    Joanna Chicago, IL, United States 12-30-12 Member Since 2011

    Traveler. Artist. Dreamer.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Still thinking about this book... months later"

    I can honestly say that this book really makes me think about my actions and forces me to plan ahead. Months after reading it, I am still trying to apply the principles of this book into my life. I see some reviews that state, "it is the same old material", but I do not know anything about negotiating and I found this book to be excellent in the presentation of the material and on the logic behind what the brain thinks of it. For example, the brain thinks that it is a form of manipulation, but in actuality it is more of a win-win situation. I never saw it that way and it makes sense logically. I probably won't go as far as some of the people in the book (ie: the guy in the eyeglass store went too far, in my opinion). After "reading" it once, the following important points stuck with me months later: find the decision maker, make a human connection, talk calmly, and that a little research goes a long way. You may not get everything when using these principles, but you will get more (the name fits the book perfectly) when you do!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    George San Antonio, Texas, United States 11-19-12
    George San Antonio, Texas, United States 11-19-12
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    "Got a lot more outta "Getting More""
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I would recommend this audiobook to anyone. It is practical and ethical. Does NOT employ an us vs. them mentality.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Encourages us to be honest not manipulative.


    What about Marc Cashman’s performance did you like?

    Great Speaker. Made the story telling more life like.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Seemed to us a lot of Christian principles without claiming any spirtuality.


    Any additional comments?

    Every Business person should read this book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    doris choo canada 11-02-13
    doris choo canada 11-02-13 Member Since 2013

    Life is wonderful ! Lots of great books to listen yeah !

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    "A good learning book"
    What did you love best about Getting More?

    I have always been terrifid of entering into any kind of negotiations. This marvelous book showed me there are more effective ways, eloquent style of getting more. Getting More 's way is more effective, make sense, everyone is happy, result a win-win-win situation.


    What other book might you compare Getting More to and why?

    This is the only book I need for now.


    Which character – as performed by Marc Cashman – was your favorite?

    He read it so well that I almost think he was the writer of this book.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Use food and kindness to win the heart of people instead of bullets and violence. There are so many great tips that I have to read the book again a few times to borrow some quotes like how to go about in finding connections, things to trade etc.Awareness - simply changing our tone of voice, body language, we can accomplish so much without coming across as confrontational - I would have never realized how important - this sticks into my head and my soul. I am facinated by the way how the author handles all the tough situations.


    Any additional comments?

    Thank you Mr Diamond for writting this book. I am asking Santa for a hard copy for Christmas this year.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    David L. Groth Marlton, New Jersey USA 10-11-13
    David L. Groth Marlton, New Jersey USA 10-11-13 Member Since 2013
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    "There is so much truth in this book..."
    Would you listen to Getting More again? Why?

    I find this the most useful book I have read in 40 years. It has practical applications in about 90% of life situations, other than pure maintenance (housework, cooking,). It is a gem. Two things are particularly great about this book. First, many of the techniques you will already be doing, but not in a conscious manner, so you will have an opportunity to be better at it. Second, his quandrant gives a framework for thinking through situations and applying which tools to use, also adding to what you may not already be doing. This should be a required class in all public schools in America, no kidding. America would be a better place if all out public officials and private leaders, and parents, used this. Extremely geniune stuff here. I use this multiple times every day. How can you not apply the principles here? I am an obvious fan...and no, I don't get residuals...lol


    Have you listened to any of Marc Cashman’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Pedro Porto, Portugal 07-22-13
    Pedro Porto, Portugal 07-22-13
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    "Interesting and rewarding"

    It's a most interesting book on very important matters.
    It may seem obvious at times but it actually helps framing things in the right (more constructive) way, and the many examples/stories that could be felt as somewhat redundant are, in fact, quite useful and entertaining.
    Moreover, there is an overall positive attitude that is coherent with the approach and valuable in our society.
    Last but not least, and not surprisingly, is does actually work in many real-life situations.
    Congratulations Mr. Diamond!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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