Boyslut

A Memoir and Manifesto

By: Zachary Zane

Narrated by: Zachary Zane

Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins

Publisher's summary

A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.

As a boy, Zachary Zane sensed that all was not right when images of his therapist naked popped into his head. He sometimes imagined other people naked, too, and without an explanation as to why, a deep sense of shame pervaded these thoughts. Though his therapist assured him a little imagination was nothing to be ashamed of, over the years, society told him otherwise.

Boyslut is a memoir-manifesto in which Zane articulates that, even today, we live in a world that shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described sluttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives and, through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.

From stories of play sessions with a neighbor at age six to the first explorations of Zane’s bisexuality in college, as well as sex parties, orgies, and fun with butt plugs, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny—and most potently, it is a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.

©2023 Z. Zane Enterprises (P)2023 Audible, Inc.

New Frontier

This story was different than where I’ve typically spent my time in LGBTQ genre. I felt like I needed to be more open to information and address some biases I’ve noticed in myself. I think this book put me on that path of interrogation and self-reflection of myself, my communities, and our society at all when it comes to sex and shame in particular.

Highly recommended for education

What a terrific book to listen too. Zach breaks the rule of don’t listen to a book read by the author. His reading is nuanced and I particularly liked the information on areas I’m not strictly familiar with. Spend the credit, well worth it.

So enjoyed!

Zachary narrated and did an excellent job, enjoyed his performance immensely.
I appreciated the glossary to kick off the story, and felt challenged by his take on STI prevention all things that expanded my understanding and perspective. Highly recommend and excited for whatever is next from him!

Excellent

Thank you! At 30, I finally realized I’m Bi, and this has further solidified my confidence in my identity.

Honest

Honest and worth the read for anyone who would like insights around challenges within the LGBT + Community (contains several insights that are not just limited to bisexual men or those who are LGBT+)

Worth noting that the author did not grow up with a religious background and yet still ran into many challenges that people in the LGBT+ Community frequently blame religion for.

This book is helpful at widening the reader’s perspective and I appreciate that it starts off with a glossary to help align terminology between the author and reader.

Thank you for making this accessible via audible and selling the physical book at an affordable price.

fun and interesting

there are too few things like this about bi guys like myself in my opinion so I was interested just out novelty but this was a really good one. thanks!

Thank you!

Direct, humorous, empathetic, balanced, and educational. My world and perspective are beautifully and joyfully broadened, and I am a better person for hearing this book.

Visibility for Bi Men

Like the book Greedy, I didn’t identify with the behavior of the protagonist, but I appreciated adding another life story in the canon of bisexual memoirs—especially those available on audiobook.

There’s a lot of stereotype threat here. For example, the author’s inability to be satisfied by any of his romantic partners. But we are becoming less a less a monolith. So there is more and more room for all kinds of representation.

As someone who is bi but also identifies as a snob, it’s hard to relate to the sheer number of partners he’s had. But the bi visibility (or in his words “audibility”) was good for my soul.

Visibility for a bi man is always in short supply.

Must read

Amazing! This helped me out a lot in understand myself and being more confident in who I am as a whole person.

Thoroughly Enjoyable If Not Comfortable

The book includes some great lines, and the author/narrator has terrific comedic timing. Along the way in this brisk book, the author dispenses good advice with confidence and humility. The wisdom does not rise from a keen sense of historic context or science; rather, his genuine humility, extensive personal experience, and uncommon smarts combine to produce darn good suggestions that are worthy of consideration. That the delivery includes palpable encouragement is a bonus.
I find it interesting that one of the kinks he mentions with joy and positivity was commonly included as an imagined event in aversion therapy four decades ago (because it was considered to be the most aversive event imaginable to pair with – and therefore eventually inhibit – gay sex).
I do not mean the following as a criticism. A book cannot do everything, and this book achieves plenty. I could relate to his experience of the Boston meeting he mentions late in the book, but I could not relate to his triumphant party that followed. Indeed, I experienced the former more times than I can count from adolescence through adulthood, but I find his description of the latter as other-worldly and rising from privileges unknown to me. Hmm, that sounds like more of a criticism than I intend. Please instead read that as a criticism of the cards I’ve been dealt. The author broadly did a terrific job of making space even for me (gay, cis, hyperconventional, monogamous, kinda old).