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Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman | [Lisa Scottoline]

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman

At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline's wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman's perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, "I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there's only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I'm Italian." The column gained momentum and popularity.
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Publisher's Summary

A hilarious collection of stories from the life of the New York Times best-selling author of Look Again

At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline's wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman's perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007, and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, "I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there's only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I'm Italian." The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.

In this collection, you'll laugh about:

  • Being caught braless in the emergency room
  • Betty and Veronica's Life Lessons for Girls
  • A man's most important body part
  • Interrupting as an art form
  • A religion men and women can worship
  • Real estate ads as porn
  • Spanx are public enemy number one
  • And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!

    ©2009 Lisa Scottoline; (P)2009 Macmillan Audio

  • What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    3.6 (135 )
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     (43)
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    3.5 (82 )
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    3.8 (82 )
    5 star
     (31)
    4 star
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    3 star
     (12)
    2 star
     (7)
    1 star
     (7)
    Performance
    Sort by:
    •  
      Fay 09-03-12
      Fay 09-03-12
      HELPFUL VOTES
      31
      ratings
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      48
      26
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      18
      2
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      Story
      "Not sure why I didn't love it."
      Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

      Although this collection of essays (newspaper columns) is charming, I found it hard to stay engaged for more than a chapter at a time. Since I have read Ms. Scottoline's novels voraciously, I was disappointed that I couldn't really get engrossed in her monologue. Well, I should say duo-logue, since her daughter periodically shared her own stories/opinions. I think I would recommend it to a friend, but clarify the book is better for short stints. It's neither gripping nor particularly memorable, though it has many moments of hilarity, wit and poignancy. For example,she tells of arranging for her mother to be met with a wheelchair at the airport. The image she conveys of her mother marching along the concourse while a helpless attendant pushes the asked-for wheelchair along behind the hearing-aidless-so-oblivious-woman is absolutely priceless and endearing.


      1 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Joy Bear, DE, United States 01-01-11
      Joy Bear, DE, United States 01-01-11 Member Since 2014
      HELPFUL VOTES
      26
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      31
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      "Hilarious book, great on the road"

      I loved this book and I know many women will relate to the hysterical vignettes by Lisa Scottoline. This book is a great way to get in a good mood; on your way to work or to see your mother-in-law!

      1 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Mary Anne Miller 07-17-15 Member Since 2012
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      2
      2
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      "Love this series"

      This will give you a giggle, a laugh and sense of sisterhood.
      All I need to make a frown upside down.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Carole Wooten St. Louis, MO 06-06-15
      Carole Wooten St. Louis, MO 06-06-15 Member Since 2012
      HELPFUL VOTES
      3
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      "Brought me to tears and made me laugh"
      Any additional comments?

      3.5 Stars!

      I have enjoyed Lisa Scottoline's writing for quite some time. I would have to say that I became a pretty big fan of hers when I went to an author event at my local library when she was touring for Look Again. I couldn't believe how much fun I had listening to her. She was funny and she threw snack cakes at the audience which is always a plus. I went home that night with a huge grin on my face, a snack cake to devour later on, and a brand new tote bag that she gave me for buying several of her novels. I don't really know what I waited until now to read this book since I know how funny she can be.

      Just a couple of weeks ago, Lisa made a return visit to my town to promote her new book Every Fifteen Minutes. This event was just as much fun as the first. There weren't any snack cakes this time...but there was wine and cheese so I don't think any missed the snack cakes. I spent some time talking to other fans at the event and learned that Lisa actually narrates the audiobooks for her humorous books. I had just finished an audiobook so I downloaded this book and started listening right away.

      This is a compilation of articles, some of which I think I may have read before when they were originally published in a newspaper column. Some of the stories were laugh out loud funny. Some made me chuckle just a little bit. One story actually made me cry which is crazy. I hardly ever cry and especially not on my way to work over an audiobook. I was really very impressed that this book was able to bring out so much emotion. I am amazed by how much I could relate to Lisa Scottoline and in many ways her story felt like some of my own.

      I liked the fact that this book was really 90 different stories. Yes, there were 90 chapters in my audiobook and each chapter was a completely different story. You learned a lot about many of the people in the book and the stories did build upon that knowledge but any of the stories could be listened to independently without any problem. This was a perfect set up for me because I work just a few miles from my house so I could listen to a couple of stories in the car on the way to work and not worry about stopping in the middle of a chapter. I even listened to it when my family was in the car and felt no embarrassment. My daughter was embarrassed but I had no problems and I even caught my husband and daughter laughing a couple of times.

      The narration was perfect. I wish that she would narrate all of her books because she is a fabulous narrator. Her daughter even authored and narrated a few of the chapters and it was nice to hear her perspective. Generally, I have found that authors can be the best narrators because they know how they envisioned the story be told. This book is really Lisa Scottoline's life told through stories and I can't think of anyone else I would have wanted as a narrator.

      I would recommend this book to others. I know that my mother will love this book and I plan to help her get it on her kindle the next time I see her. I will definitely be reading more from Lisa Scottoline in the future.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      mlillizard 10-02-12
      mlillizard 10-02-12

      mlilllizard, 51 year old divorced female from OK

      ratings
      REVIEWS
      3
      3
      Overall
      Performance
      Story
      "Light and easy"
      Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

      Only as a "bathroom book"...something to fill in a few minutes here and there.


      What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

      The down to earth mood, I felt like I got to know the author.


      If this book were a movie would you go see it?

      No.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Sue Forde 09-12-12
      Sue Forde 09-12-12
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      Story
      "Booooooring"
      Would you try another book from Lisa Scottoline and/or Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella ?

      No, this book is full of platitudes and totally mundane recollections of an everyday life.


      What was most disappointing about Lisa Scottoline’s story?

      It was so average.


      How did the narrator detract from the book?

      She seemed as underwhelmed as I was.


      What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

      Disappointment and boredom.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Kay EL SEGUNDO, CA, United States 09-03-12
      Kay EL SEGUNDO, CA, United States 09-03-12 Member Since 2012
      ratings
      REVIEWS
      10
      4
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      Story
      "Not worth much"
      What would have made Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog better?

      I guess I like her stories better -- the short pieces were just not worth listening to.


      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Nick S. Newtown, PA United States 08-14-12
      Nick S. Newtown, PA United States 08-14-12 Member Since 2007
      ratings
      REVIEWS
      8
      1
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      Story
      "Laughed and cried!!"

      I could not put this down...I literally had my headphones in all weekend listening to this book. I felt like Lisa was describing all my thoughts, emotions, and outlooks on life! Having recently gone through some very similar life experiences, I was mesmerized by this book (I thought only I had these thought processes!) I laughed, cried, and related to this entire book. A great listen!

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Lisa 01-30-12
      Lisa 01-30-12 Member Since 2014

      Say something about yourself!

      ratings
      REVIEWS
      37
      5
      Overall
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      Story
      "Funny and Touching"

      I laughed. I cried. I love the Scottoline family and all their crazy, heart-warming antics.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Robin Goose Creek, SC, United States 11-20-11
      Robin Goose Creek, SC, United States 11-20-11
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      1
      1
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      Story
      "Like Talking With A Friend"

      Lisa Scottoline took me on her amazing adventure and we have so much in common! I loved listening to this book in the car and was sorry for it to end.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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