Unbearable Lightness

A Story of Loss and Gain

By: Portia de Rossi

Narrated by: Portia de Rossi

Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins

Publisher's summary

“I didn’t decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier . . .”

Portia de Rossi weighed only 82 pounds when she collapsed on the set of the Hollywood film in which she was playing her first leading role. This should have been the culmination of all her years of hard work - first as a child model in Australia, then as a cast member of one of the hottest shows on American television. On the outside she was thin and blond, glamorous and successful. On the inside, she was literally dying.

In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.

Even as she rose to fame as a cast member of the hit television shows Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, all the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids. She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner. With the storytelling skills of a great novelist and the eye for detail of a poet, Portia makes transparent as never before the behaviors and emotions of someone living with an eating disorder.

From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love with and eventually marrying Ellen DeGeneres, and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.

In this remarkable and beautifully written work, Portia shines a bright light on a dark subject. A crucial book for all those who might sometimes feel at war with themselves or their bodies, Unbearable Lightness is a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

©2010 Simon & Schuster Audio; 2010 Portia de Rossi

Critic reviews

“Breathtakingly honest, brutal and beautiful.” (Jonathan Safran Foer)

“Possibly the best book on the subject ever written. De Rossi is the real deal, a fine writer with a sharp mind and substance. This rich, layered book of remarkable courage, power, and significance will serve as life-changing inspiration for many.” (Augusten Burroughs)

“De Rossi tells her story with genuine insight and unflinching honesty. You will cheer her on.” —Jeannette Walls

Be careful

This book brought back memories of my own eating disorder. I found myself impressed with Portia instead of shocked. I would advise that you only “read” her book if you are fully healed and have no abnormal food behaviors.
It is very real, and very in-depth. Very well done.

Interesting

Portia is very candid and honest about her eating disorder in this book. Quite amazing what people do to themselves for the sake of being thin.. She's such a beautiful woman, it's a shame she felt she wasn't good enough being a normal size... Great story but a little depressing.. I just wanted to reach through the pages and shake her, saying, good grief woman.. you are gorgeous.. stop killing yourself to be so thin....

awesome

Awesome book, very real! Nice voice as well. This book is worth "reading"

Great book - but be cautious

This is a great autobiography. But please BE CAREFUL if you are actively dealing with ED or in a difficult place with recovery. This book containing extremely triggering material for those struggling with ED, including lots of numbers and things that could be seen as “tips” by an anorexic or bulimic person.

Great, but be careful

This was well written and performed in most aspects, but as someone who has struggles with an eating disorder as well it was a little triggering.

Eye opening

I loved everything about this book. These negative reviews didn’t actually listen. Yes she’s judgmental about others, but that is what this disease does. You don’t separate your judgement from yourself. It fills all aspects of your life. Her bravery is encouraging, to share the dark side of herself with the world. Reading this book made me face the fact that what my fiancé has been trying to tell me about my eating behaviors was true. Thank you Portia for being brave so I could also seek treatment.

beautiful

Portia is amazing. what a true beautiful soul. she makes you feel as you were inside her heart

Beautifully Sad

How someone could hate themselves so much is astonishing. This is a beautifully written yet heartbreaking book. I enjoyed that it is read by Portia herself, her warm voice soothes you over even as you wish you could go back to that time and grab her and shake her and tell her that she was beautiful and to stop hating herself! I was engrossed from the first sentence.

Negative Self Talk

Haunting... A very truthful tell on the negative self talk, which accompanies disordered eating behaviors.

Recommended

While clearly written by a celebrity - keeping her cards close to her vest - still recommended. The issue of women's body image and hollywood's impact on us and it's stars is an important one that needs to be discussed more. I enjoyed the reading as well.