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Everything You Could Want in an Autobiography
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Audio is a unique medium. It invites listeners to become a part of the process, to interpret what they hear, however they'd like; whereas motion pictures leave no such room for input. With the completion of this book, it dawned on me that, as an actor by trade, I could play the part; and I'm knee-deep in actor pals - why not record the book like a radio play? So that's exactly what happened. I rounded up an excellent troupe of thespians, from both Los Angeles and my home state of Oregon, and we recorded what was to become this epic listen for you to hear!
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School is finally over, and Will Carter has (barely) survived his freshman year. Unfortunately, he quickly learns that the summer break he’s been craving just might break him. When he and his girlfriend, Abby, part ways, Carter can’t help but think his summer is ruined. Things start to look up after he’s unexpectedly cast in an independent film opposite the world’s biggest tween sensation, Hilary Idaho. With Hollywood knocking on his door, Carter gets a taste of the good life. Suddenly, his small town, friends, and family don’t seem as great as they used to.
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Not my thing.
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One of my dad’s favorite jokes about getting older was: “I went out for coffee when I was twenty-one and when I got back I was fifty-eight!” I get what he meant now. Time flies. My first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a "B" Movie Actor, was published back in 2001 and it chronicles the adventures of a “mid-grade, kind of hammy actor" (my words), cutting his teeth on exploitation movies far removed from mainstream Hollywood. This next book, an “Act II” if you will, could be considered my “maturing years” in show business, when I began to say “no” more often and gravitated toward self-generated material. Taking stock in the overall quality of my life, I fled Los Angeles and moved to a remote part of Oregon to renew, regroup and reload. If that sounds tame, the journey from Evil Dead to Spider-Man to Burn Notice was long, with plenty of adventures/mishaps along the way. I never pictured myself hovering above Baghdad in a Blackhawk helicopter, facing a pack of wild dogs in Bulgaria, or playing an aging Elvis Presley with cancer on his penis - how can you predict this stuff? The sheer lunacy of show business is part of the fun for me and I hope you'll come along for the ride.
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If everything in this book is true; F-n-A!
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Mustache Shenanigans
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The writers should run the business
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Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
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Publisher's summary
Tales, sometimes tall but always true, of Allan Cole's years in Hollywood with his late partner, Chris Bunch. How a naked lady almost became our first agent. How we survived La-La Land with only the loss of half our brain cells. How Bunch & Cole became the ultimate Fix-It Boys. How an alleged mafia don was very, very good to us. The guy who cornered the market on movie rocks. Andy Warhol's "Fire Extinguisher". The Real Stars Of Hollywood. Why they don't make million-dollar movies. See The Seven Pi$$ing Dwarfs. Learn: how to kill a "difficult" actor...and many more stories.
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Story
Lurking in the dark corners of J. P. Beaumont's bizarre case was not just a demented mind obsessed with murder, but secrets so deadly that even a street-tough cop could die guessing.
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Until proven guilty
- By Jean on 04-21-11
By: J. A. Jance
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Maybe the Moon
- By: Armistead Maupin
- Narrated by: Armistead Maupin
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
All of 31 inches tall, Cady is a true survivor in a town where, as she says, "you can die of encouragement". Her early starring role as a lovable elf in an immensely popular American film proved a major disappointment, since moviegoers never saw the face behind the stifling rubber suit she was required to wear. Now, after a decade of hollow promises from the Industry, she is reduced to performing at birthday parties and bat mitzvahs as she waits for the miracle that will finally make her a star.
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short but good
- By Charlene on 08-06-07
By: Armistead Maupin
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Big City, Bad Blood
- By: Sean Chercover
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Disillusioned newspaper reporter-turned-private detective Ray Dudgeon doesn't want to save the world; he just wants to do an honest job well. But when doing an honest job threatens society's most powerful and corrupt, Ray's odds of survival make for a sucker's bet.
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Quintessentially Chicago
- By Eva Gannon on 09-21-09
By: Sean Chercover
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What's So Funny?
- My Hilarious Life
- By: Tim Conway, Jane Scovell, Carol Burnett - foreword
- Narrated by: Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Dick Hill, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Six-time Emmy Award-winning funnyman Tim Conway, best known for his characters on The Carol Burnett Show, offers a straight-shooting and hilarious memoir about his life on stage and off as an actor and comedian. In television history, few entertainers have captured as many hearts and made as many people laugh as Tim Conway. There's nothing in the world that Tim Conway would rather do than entertain - and in his first-ever memoir, What's So Funny?, that's exactly what he does.
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Not narrated by Tim
- By Bob Murdock on 05-05-14
By: Tim Conway, and others
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Gutshot Straight
- By: Lou Berney
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Charles "Shake" Bouchon, professional wheel man, walks out of prison after a three-year stretch for grand theft auto, he's got only two problems: he's too nice a guy for the life he's led and not nice enough for any other. So he says yes when he's asked to run a simple errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Ilandryan, the formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in Los Angeles.
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A whole lotta fun.
- By Richard Delman on 04-12-12
By: Lou Berney
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Carter's Big Break
- By: Brent Crawford
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
School is finally over, and Will Carter has (barely) survived his freshman year. Unfortunately, he quickly learns that the summer break he’s been craving just might break him. When he and his girlfriend, Abby, part ways, Carter can’t help but think his summer is ruined. Things start to look up after he’s unexpectedly cast in an independent film opposite the world’s biggest tween sensation, Hilary Idaho. With Hollywood knocking on his door, Carter gets a taste of the good life. Suddenly, his small town, friends, and family don’t seem as great as they used to.
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Once again Crawford delivers and it’s Hilarious!
- By Cristy G on 09-19-11
By: Brent Crawford
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Cold City
- Repairman Jack: Early Years Trilogy, Book 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If you've never read a Repairman Jack novel, this is the place to begin. It's 1990. A twenty-one-year-old named Jack has dropped out of college, leaving his old life behind to build a new one in New York City. Manhattan's rough edges are jagged enough to shred any unwary newcomer, but perhaps not one who is determined to stay off the grid, at any cost, in the busiest metropolis on earth. And to do so, he'll have to take jobs of a less than legal nature.
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Fun, as long you don't think too much
- By Andrew Pollack on 01-17-14
By: F. Paul Wilson
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Flood
- A Novel (Burke, Book 1)
- By: Andrew Vachss
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Burke's newest client is a woman named Flood, who has the face of an angel, the body of a high-priced stripper, and the skills of a professional executioner. She wants Burke to find a monster for her - so she can kill him with her bare hands. In this thriller, Andrew Vachss's renegade private eye teams up with a lethally gifted avenger to follow a child's murderer through the catacombs of New York, where every alley is blind and the penthouses are as dangerous as the basements.
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Noir!
- By Snoodely on 03-06-14
By: Andrew Vachss
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The Deep Blue Good-By
- A Travis McGee Novel, Book 1
- By: John D. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He's a self-described beach bum who won his houseboat in a card game. He's also a knight errant who's wary of credit cards, retirement benefits, political parties, mortgages, and television. He only works when his cash runs out, and his rule is simple: he'll help you find whatever was taken from you, as long as he can keep half.
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Before the A-Team, there was Travis McGee
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-16
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Primary Colors
- By: Anonymous
- Narrated by: Peter Francis James
- Length: 16 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Primary Colors offers a richly detailed look at life on the political stump. As former congressional aide Henry Burton is dazzled and lured into presidential hopeful Jack Stanton's fledgling campaign, he becomes a cog in Stanton's unstoppable political machine. Burton illuminates, through his actions and observations, the sometimes seamy, sometimes steamy and sometimes surprisingly noble ascent to the presidency.
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N
- By Laurie on 10-15-08
By: Anonymous