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Let's Pretend This Never Happened
- A Mostly True Memoir
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut.
Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes listeners on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
Chapters include: "Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel", "A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband", "My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking", and "And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane".
Featured Article: The Best Audiobooks for Soothing Anxiety
The care of family, friends, and a trusted therapist, practicing mindfulness, engaging in calming hobbies like yoga, journaling, walking in nature, or listening to music—these are just a few of the strategies that can ease the overwhelm. We’ve handpicked some of the best audiobooks that can soothe the symptoms of anxiety, break patterns of negative or unhealthy thought, and help ground or comfort you when things get tough.
Editor's Pick
Alas, poor Jenny…
"Just like the taxidermized, Yorick-like mouse on the cover, Let's Pretend This Never Happened is awkward, weird, and hilarious—as is the writer, Jenny Lawson, of The Bloggess fame. Her narration, too, makes this listen truly sing—quite literally when she belts out the chapter titles like a manic, singsong opera star. The whole package is so genuine and vulnerable that I frequently laughed to the point of tears as she regaled her experiences dealing with anxiety, depression, and social missteps. This is a title that could only be written by Lawson herself."
—Sean T., Audible Editor
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- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette; detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
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There, But For The Grace Of God
- By Anthony Robertson on 11-20-17
By: Samantha Irby
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Excuse Me While I Disappear
- Tales of Midlife Mayhem
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting—the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries—Laurie accepts it. And then some.
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Meh. Maybe funnier with a different narrator
- By TK on 12-19-22
By: Laurie Notaro
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Meaty
- Essays
- By: Samantha Irby
- Narrated by: Samantha Irby
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Smart, edgy, hilarious, and unabashedly raunchy New York Times best-selling author Samantha Irby explodes in her uproarious first collection of essays. Irby laughs her way through tragicomic mishaps, neuroses, and taboos as she struggles through adulthood: chin hairs, depression, bad sex, failed relationships, masturbation, taco feasts, inflammatory bowel disease, and more. Updated with her favorite Instagramable, couch-friendly recipes, this much-beloved romp is treat for anyone in dire need of Irby's infamous, scathing wit, and poignant candor.
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Same As Her Other Book
- By Leigh Deja on 10-16-18
By: Samantha Irby
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Me Talk Pretty One Day
- By: David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Abridged
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David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.
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Subtly Funny Musings on Life Experiences
- By FanB14 on 09-03-12
By: David Sedaris
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I Was Told There'd Be Cake
- By: Sloane Crosley
- Narrated by: Sloane Crosley
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions-or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.
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So self-involved
- By Eleanor on 09-20-12
By: Sloane Crosley
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You'll Grow Out of It
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In You'll Grow Out of It, Jessi Klein offers - through an incisive collection of real-life stories - a relentlessly funny yet poignant take on a variety of topics she has experienced along her strange journey to womanhood and beyond. These include her "transformation from Pippi Longstocking-esque tomboy to are-you-a-lesbian-or-what tom man", attempting to find watchable porn, and identifying the difference between being called "ma'am" and "miss" (" miss sounds like you weigh 99 pounds").
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I like this woman so much!
- By Sarah F. on 07-24-16
By: Jessi Klein
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Lamb
- The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
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Blasphemus or righteous?
- By Timothy on 08-19-08
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I Feel Bad About My Neck
- And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
- By: Nora Ephron
- Narrated by: Nora Ephron
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.
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Don't make me get out of the car...
- By Kestrel on 10-09-06
By: Nora Ephron
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Sh-t My Dad Says
- By: Justin Halpern
- Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
- Length: 3 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is “like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair,” has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.
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Really Funny! Should Be Up for an Audie Award
- By Michael on 05-08-10
By: Justin Halpern
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Little Weirds
- By: Jenny Slate
- Narrated by: Jenny Slate
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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You may "know" Jenny Slate from her Netflix special, Stage Fright, as the creator of Marcel the Shell, or as the star of Obvious Child. But you don't really know Jenny Slate until you get bonked on the head by her absolutely singular writing style. To see the world through Jenny's eyes is to see it as though for the first time, shimmering with strangeness and possibility.
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softness is earned and it is wonderful
- By Van on 12-09-19
By: Jenny Slate
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
What listeners say about Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- nichole
- 10-13-17
If you need a laugh this is it!
I can identify with the author (who I loved the fact she recorded the audio for it) who shows us life isn't perfect but you can still roll with the punches and enjoy the ride!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 04-17-20
So hilarious!!
Such a great book and really good read!! So freaking funny!!! If you need a good laugh totally listen to this book!
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- Mal
- 06-19-20
so funny
this was a pretty funny stories from a sure enough active imagination. maybe ADHD. the only part that could have been left out is the screeching singing at the start of each chapter...ewwwe. otherwise good book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tami
- 01-14-15
Soul mates
I think this bitch just might be my kindred spirit. Funniest. Shit. Ever. I so heart Jenny motherfucking Lawson y'all!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Valerie Lesak
- 04-21-18
separated at birth
Story of my life. Well not exactly but I enjoyed it and love your sense of humor! We could definitely hang out!
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- Anthony Peter Kwawu
- 08-14-15
Love this book. Jenny "Awesome"
Chapter intros are the best, each chapter got me wanting more, she's amazing. Jenny is awesome.
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- Chad C.
- 06-01-16
Unexpectedly brilliant and hysterical
I was about to lose an Audible credit and this was at the top of my recommendations list, so I figured why not. I cannot believe how funny this is, and I feel like the author reading it herself adds so much dimension to the stories.
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- Hugo 719
- 08-12-16
awesome!!!
I loved this start to finish!! Jenny tells the story wonderfully, making life's awkward moments into something wonderful and worth remembering.
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- DEBRA L BATES
- 04-03-17
LOVE Jenny LAWSON!!!
So much fun to hear Jenny share her stories. I own at least three copies of everything she has published.
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- Melissa V Ball
- 05-01-12
Loved it!
What did you love best about Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir)?
A rare book that was smart enough and funny enough to make me laugh out loud.
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