Far from the Tree

Parents, Children and the Search for Identity

By: Andrew Solomon

Narrated by: Andrew Solomon

Length: 40 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's summary

National Book Critics Circle Award, Nonfiction, 2013

From the National Book Award-winning author of the "brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic" (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a game-changer of a book about the impact of extreme personal and cultural difference between parents and children.

A brilliant and utterly original thinker, Andrew Solomon's journey began from his experience of being the gay child of straight parents. He wondered how other families accommodate children who have a variety of differences: families of people who are deaf, who are dwarfs, who have Down syndrome, who have autism, who have schizophrenia, who have multiple severe disabilities, who are prodigies, who commit crimes, who are transgender. Bookended with Solomon's experiences as a son, and then later as a father, this book explores the old adage that says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree; instead some apples fall a couple of orchards away, some on the other side of the world.

In 12 sharply observed and moving chapters, Solomon describes individuals who have been heartbreaking victims of intense prejudice, but also stories of parents who have embraced their childrens' differences and tried to change the world's understanding of their conditions. Solomon's humanity, eloquence, and compassion give a voice to those people who are never heard. A riveting, powerful take on a major social issue, Far from the Tree offers far-reaching conclusions about new families, academia, and the way our culture addresses issues of illness and identity.

©2012 Andrew Solomon (P)2012 Simon & Schuster, Inc

Critic reviews

"In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child's development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America - many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine - who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way." (President Bill Clinton)

"This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times - brave, compassionate and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions - how much are we defined by nature versus nurture? - and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down." (Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies)

"An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity." (Kirkus)

40 Hours Well Spent

What did you love best about Far from the Tree?

Andrew Solomon shows keen insight and never-failing compassion with every interview for this book. He is especially good with parents. Parenting is soul-shaking work-- how wonderful to hear of the experiences of others doing this work in honest, unflinching, and loving writing.

masterpiece

incredible book, incredibly long and so worth it. I learned so, so much. you will too

A very interesting book

The book was long, but really interesting - I would easily have listened to 46 more hours of this. Highly recommended.

Fascinating stories of parenting special kids

Would you consider the audio edition of Far from the Tree to be better than the print version?

Unlike some other reviewers I really like Andrew Solomon as a narrator for his own book. Usually I don't like authors as narrators but it really felt more that he was relating personally. I think a book this long without a good narrator would have been unbearable. I also don't think I could have made it through this in print form, and I am glad I did make it through.

What did you like best about this story?

As a parent of a special needs child myself, I was really interested in the personal stories of the families, particularly those facing issues I considered more challenging than mine. The stories in the chapters about schizophrenia and MSD I thought were particularly good. Though autism is a topic near and dear to me, that wasn't my favorite chapter. I didn't dislike it I just had stronger feelings on that subject and therefore it was easier to find things I disagreed with him on about it. However, with all the media attention that falls on high function autistics, and with how it is easier to get information from such people, I was glad to see Solomon provide examples of families facing the more severe forms. I saw reviewers object to repetition in the stories, but I did not object. I felt it helped drive home the point of the relentlessness of some people's issues. I felt less connected to some of the other chapters. I was not entirely convinced, despite Solomon's persuasive arguments, that all these chapters formed a cohesive whole. I found the chapter on musical prodigies particularly out of sync with the rest of the book and it held my interest the least. A lot of what went on there was more about abusive parent behavior than about a child's identity. The chapter on children of rape also felt out of sync and did not feel as inspiring to me as many of the others. It was certainly tragic and sad, but also had a lot of child abuse in it. I felt the strongest parts related to the traditional disabilities. However, I also found the chapter on Transgender people to be very informative and it did highlight a prejudice I wasn't even aware I had and helped me get passed that.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I did cry at several points over moving stories.

Any additional comments?

All in all, I would and did recommend it, particularly for people who are inspired by people facing challenges.

A Masterpiece

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I recommend this book to people ALL THE TIME. The YouTube channel is great as well.

What three words best describe Andrew Solomon’s performance?

He's not a performer, but a narrator, and I think it's really cool he read it. He has an interesting voice. If it took more than 40 hours to read the finished version, how many hours total did he sit around and read this?! I'm so impressed with this man. He is one of my heroes!

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

All the rawness. I was most into the Schizophrenia, Autism, Down Syndrome, and Dwarfism chapters. He mentions how most parents find out their kid is Down Syndrome before birth or at birth, and find out their kid is autistic after a couple years, but don't learn about schizophrenia until years later, which is cruelest of all. It's similar to Alzheimer's in that parts of the brain are actually damaged.

Any additional comments?

I've had the hard copy version of this book for years, and got really into it, but had a heck of a time picking it up and reading it - literally. It was so heavy! Overwhelmed and wanting to finish it, I bought the audio version and was able to power through it. This book is so good, brilliant. It's SO important for us to accept people and their differences, and try to understand what parents and families are going through as they struggle with the challenges of raising extraordinary children. My teen daughter has severe anxiety, depression, hallucinates, hears voices, has visions... I read the chapter on Schizophrenia with hyper awareness and fear. I vow to do whatever I can to maintain her health. We are trying an approach where we are open and matter-of-fact about her symptoms, and taking advantage of any services and therapy we can obtain. I think many people try and hide mental illness, which internalizes it and makes it worse, pushing them to a breaking point.

One of the best books I have ever “read”

Whether you are touched by disability or not, this is an amazing book. Amazing writer. Amazing stories. I even listened during a 5K!

Transforming the conventional mindset

This book helps me see the individuals I encounter more humanely, inclusively and tenderly. It is very liberating for the soul. Thank you Andrew.

More of a treatise, than a book

Being a parent of a special needs child, I found this excellently researched and well organized book more than 'just what the doctor ordered.' There are many interviews with parents and loved ones of children with special needs, as well as scientific information throughout. I feel, strongly, that after reading this book, I see the world differently, in a positive way, and would propose that this book become mandatory reading for anyone dealing professionally with 'special' children, however that word is defined.

Another note, it took me some time to get used to the authors voice. However, once I did, I found his voice somewhat therapeutic and soothing. This is especially important as some of the stories and details within this work can be somewhat shocking, but essential in the discussion of these matters.

The joy of accepting

I learned so much from this book that was written with so much sensitivity, wisdom and love.

Brilliant, sensitive, valuable!

I’ve appreciated every scrap of this extremely thorough and varied exploration. As a parent myself reckoning with the dance between vertical and horizontal identity, I found my better nature constantly challenged to rise up throughout this book… For my relationship to my own parents, my children and stepchildren, my grandchildren, and to my community at large. Fantastic! I was aware of Andrew Solomon before I heard this book, but he has risen to a place for my most highly regarded thinkers. His research amounts to years of his own life, and for him to share that publicly is a gift to us all that cannot be overstated. Now I need to give a careful think about which friends. I am most excited to share this with.