National Book Critics Circle Award, Nonfiction, 2013
From the National Book Award-winning author of the "brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic" (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a game-changer of a book about the impact of extreme personal and cultural difference between parents and children.
A brilliant and utterly original thinker, Andrew Solomon's journey began from his experience of being the gay child of straight parents. He wondered how other families accommodate children who have a variety of differences: families of people who are deaf, who are dwarfs, who have Down syndrome, who have autism, who have schizophrenia, who have multiple severe disabilities, who are prodigies, who commit crimes, who are transgender. Bookended with Solomon's experiences as a son, and then later as a father, this book explores the old adage that says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree; instead some apples fall a couple of orchards away, some on the other side of the world.
In 12 sharply observed and moving chapters, Solomon describes individuals who have been heartbreaking victims of intense prejudice, but also stories of parents who have embraced their childrens' differences and tried to change the world's understanding of their conditions. Solomon's humanity, eloquence, and compassion give a voice to those people who are never heard. A riveting, powerful take on a major social issue, Far from the Tree offers far-reaching conclusions about new families, academia, and the way our culture addresses issues of illness and identity.
©2012 Andrew Solomon (P)2012 Simon & Schuster, Inc
"In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child's development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America - many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine - who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way." (President Bill Clinton)
"This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times - brave, compassionate and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions - how much are we defined by nature versus nurture? - and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down." (Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies)
"An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity." (Kirkus)
I would leave out more of the tedious, technical information
Perhaps to those with a child with one of the anomolies addressed in the book
I really disliked the author's narration. He voice was affected. His narration was slow. His delivery was dull.
Aside from the occasional interesting profile, I would not recommend this book.
Once is enough -- well done.
The interview of the parents of Dylan -- one of the shooters in the Columbine shooting. Such a great job of showing a very different perspective -- I have great empathy and respect for them now.
It was well written -- many small stories in one package. Too much for one sitting. Often intense information. But I definitely wanted to go back to listen to more.
The book greatly stretched my perspectives and empathy for people living with the conditions and their parents. Especially the loneliness of parents with children with autism, the perspective of being the one that society stares at because they are different, and the immense difficulty of developing a personal identity when you are very different from and often not accepted by much of society.
The discussion of vertical vs horizontal relationships/family was very interesting.
I wish the author would have discussed more about the costs vs value to society of some of the conditions that he reviews -- such as his estimate that an autistic child costs about $5 million during their life but no discussion about the return on this investment for society. Schizophrenia is another topic he considers -- it is also very expensive. I have worked with severely retarded, autistic, and mentally ill people and see the huge costs -- with apparently very little return. He did not discuss what society receives from these costs other than diversity. Is the "diversity" worth the enormous cost? And is the "diversity" something that society even wants? It seems that the solution was usually more money, more services. But not much on the long term return for this money and services. And is this the best use, for society, of these resources? What if these resources were invested in people with potential to give more back to society? No easy answers but the discussion is needed. Resources are not unlimited.
This book is for people who have never given a thought to the differences among people. Perhaps people who stereotype others. Or who lack empathy. It is not at all interesting or entertaining. Solomon colors his discoveries by his own sad youth of not being able to express himself as a gay person growing up.
The vast amounts of personal accounts.
The insights and love that the author was able to share with us through the personal accounts and his own experiences.
Yes, everyone was very different, yet he brought out their sameness to everyone and every family.
The author gets a bit droning. I was so interested in the actual stories and the material, but his voice did put me to sleep a few times.
I'm a recovering librarian. Since I had a stroke in 2002 I have found reading print difficult. I am so grateful for audiobooks.
It seemed to take me forever to read this audiobook because I kept re-reading what I had just heard. The honesty and respect for individuality is unique. Although the book is dense with research and background references, it is as readable as fiction.
At the end of each Chapter, I had to put it down to reflect on what I had just read. This book is as much about adult children and identity as it is about parenting.
I began telling friends, "You must read this book" by the end of the first section and my enthusiasm increased the more I read. I learned something even in the sections where I felt some familiarity with the subject.
Sections I considered skipping because they seemed irrelevant to me turned out to be the most thought provoking.
The people Solomon interviewed offer such a wide range of personal opinions; it was clear that Solomon can balance widely different conclusions and have them all be true.
insightful, eye-opening, and thought provoking
Anyone who struggles with something that holds them back can relate to the stories of people with disabilities/differences. This really makes helps you put your life in perspective.
He was a little difficult to understand at times but was otherwise great.
I enjoyed listening to it over time.
I am a retired Histology Technician. My time is spent caring for my grandchildren, my dog, cat, and blue & gold macaw.
As a rule I have found books narrated by their author a dismal failure, but, with his deep, easy to understand reading, Mr. Solomon did a wonderful job in bringing his book life. I gave five stars to his " Performance ".
In a series of interviews with the parents and often the " different " children themselves, we are given an inside view of the hardships and the joys of the bearing and rearing of children that are different , often in very profound ways, from their parents, their siblings and society's accepted norm.
By quoting the parents we hear the honest, compassionate, fearful, optimistic, angry and questioning voices of mothers and fathers as they review their lives since becoming the parents of disabled children. The child's disability can be profound and clearly visible to the outside world or almost undetectable on casual observation. But, no matter the situation the child and the parents have often been ignored and pushed aside by the medical professionals they seek help from and have had to forge their own paths to help their child.
Mr. Solomon shows great sensitivity while exposing the wounds caused prejudice and fear and does this without undo attention to the negative. I was often impressed by his bringing to light the love, devotion and blessings brought about by the presence of these children. I am a great believer in the sanctity of life and the fact that those in need of our care are here not only for their soul's benefit but also for the soul's benefit and blessing of those that serve and care for them. I also hold that the presence of these children effects a family for many generations.
This book kept my interest and, as a parent myself, tugged at my heart strings.
I gave four stars to the book overall because it seemed to end without an end. I did not expect a profound resolution to any of the difficulties presented or any happy ever after tales of love conquering all, but, somehow, and I really don't know how to explain how, the book just seemed to 'peter out'. However, it is a book I will listen to again knowing I will enjoy the presentation and learn much from the content. It is worth one's time.
Gripping, comprehensive research on parenting a different child. The author's heartfelt narration made me feel intimately connected to his material.
I did not read the print version but I did quite enjoy the audio version. It was set up well for an audio book.
Mr Solomon's performance was great. I loved it.
Very long book, so had to be listened to over a couple weeks.
I was sad when the book ended; I wanted to keep learning.
I was very excited to listen to this book as the topics and interviews sounded fascinating. It has a lot of wonderful content, but it seems to drag on quite a bit. It may seem this way on audio, if not when read, but each chapter seems to wander and not feel well organized. I also do not enjoy the author's voice and with such a long book this is particularly frustrating. As excited as I was to get this book, I find it so difficult to listen to that I've only gotten about one third of the way through and have gone ahead and bought another audio book to listen to on my commute. I hope I'll be able to finish Far from the Tree in small chunks.
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