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Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids | [Leanne Shirtliffe]

Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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Audible Editor Reviews

Raising newborn twins in Bangkok wasn't easy, but it was certainly colorful, according to Leanne Shirtliffe's raucously entertaining memoir. From eating deep-fried bugs to entangling with her blunt French hairdresser, Shirtliffe describes parenting abroad with a snappy zest, which is matched by Trudie Kessler, who lends a breezy tone to Shirtliffe's witty observations, ranging from astonishment to self-deprecation. Her examination of post-partum depression interjects a needed dose of poignancy, as does her self-described "sappy" realizations on the joy of motherhood. The locale may be different, but parents will find similarly relatable and hilarious experiences in Don't Lick the Minivan.

Publisher's Summary

As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.

In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:

  • The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied
  • The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks
  • The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie"
  • The horror of glitter
  • And much more!

A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college - eh, therapy - fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

©2013 Leanne Shirtliffe (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Leanne Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the trials and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!" (Elizabeth Boyle, New York Times best-selling author)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (12 )
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4.0 (12 )
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3.7 (12 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Tobi Sunnyvale, CA, United States 02-03-14
    Tobi Sunnyvale, CA, United States 02-03-14
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
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    6
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    Performance
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    "Hilarious!"
    What made the experience of listening to Don't Lick the Minivan the most enjoyable?

    I listen to audible books at bedtime as I'm falling asleep. It made me laugh so much, that I had to stop listening to it a number of times, just so that I could fall asleep. I just wanted to keep listening and laughing, but it kept me awake.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    N/A


    What about Trudie Kessler’s performance did you like?

    GREAT intonation in her voice!


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I wanted to, but didn't have time.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Barbara Rochester, MN, United States 10-16-13
    Barbara Rochester, MN, United States 10-16-13 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
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    41
    2
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    0
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    Overall
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    "Poor narration"
    Where does Don't Lick the Minivan rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    middle, not the best, not the worst book I have listened to.


    How did the narrator detract from the book?

    poor recitation, flat, no emotion, choppy, with pauses where there should not be any. Poor narration distracts from the humor that the author wishes to portray


    Any additional comments?

    This was a poor listen, not because of the content, rather the poor naration .

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Daryl Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 05-28-13
    Daryl Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 05-28-13 Member Since 2008
    HELPFUL VOTES
    129
    ratings
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    189
    184
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    13
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    Overall
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    "An extraordinary look at universal motherhood"
    If you could sum up Don't Lick the Minivan in three words, what would they be?

    Hilarious, funny, heartwarming


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from Don't Lick the Minivan?

    How to laugh at myself, my children, and life in general


    Any additional comments?

    This book was hilarious. I could relate to the author as a woman and as a Canadian - not as a mother (since I do not have children yet). Her details of giving birth and raising children in Thailand were both universal and unique in scope, and her hilarious descriptions of parenting coupled with her "sappy files" provided a wonderful counterbalance.
    Great work!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Heather
    Ireland
    3/2/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Great character narrator, tedious storytelling"
    Would you try another book written by Leanne Shirtliffe or narrated by Trudie Kessler?

    Loved The narrators voice, it was fresh, and had buckets of character. It's a big part of why I purchased the book. She just sounds so funny! But the story telling is not funny. I could tell what was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't funny. The metaphors and similes were too many and varied, and there was far too much hyperbole. Over done, all overdone.


    What will your next listen be?

    A David Sedaris book. I thought this book was going to be like a female David Sedaris, with witty observations and insights,


    What does Trudie Kessler bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    I would look out for other comedic books with this narrator. Honestly, great performance, but the story telling couldn't keep me listening.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Boredom, annoyance, tedium.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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