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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
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Publisher's summary
Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the number-one best-selling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good!
Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy."
Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up."
Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life."
Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
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Story4 out of 5 stars 319
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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2 out of 5 stars
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 130
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4 out of 5 stars 121
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 290
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 266
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 263
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
-
Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 75
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 74
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 536
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 485
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 486
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 866
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 795
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 794
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Sweet and funny
- By Julia Valentin on 12-19-20
By: Laurie Notaro
-
True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 30
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
-
Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 630
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 432
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 437
Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
-
May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 161
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 140
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 139
May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
-
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 575
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 360
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 355
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
-
Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,971
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,646
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,639
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,549
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,961
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,931
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
-
Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter
- By: Melissa Francis
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 115
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 118
When Melissa Francis was eight years old, she won the role of lifetime: playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls, the little girl who was adopted with her brother (played by young Jason Bateman) by the Ingalls family on the world’s most famous prime-time soap opera, Little House on the Prairie. But behind the scenes, her success was fueled by the pride, pressure, and sometimes grinding cruelty of her stage mother.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Awesome book - really enjoyed it.
- By Jane C. Bailey on 11-16-12
By: Melissa Francis
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3 out of 5 stars
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sad to even be writing this review :(
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Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
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This book is the shit!
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If it’s navel-gazing you’re after, you’ve come to the wrong place; ditto treacly self-examination. Rather, his observations turn outward: a fight between two men on a bus, a fight between two men on the street, pedestrians being whacked over the head or gathering to watch as a man considers leaping to his death. There’s a dirty joke shared at a book signing, then a dirtier one told at a dinner party - lots of jokes here. Plenty of laughs.
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Tracey Ullman?
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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4 out of 5 stars
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
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By: Mindy Kaling
-
Here We Go Again
- My Life In Television
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 617
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"Here is Betty White - a woman who has been on television forever!" is generally how Betty White is introduced. And quite accurately, too, since she first appeared in 1949, when both she and television were rank beginners. Since then, she has had one of the most amazing careers in TV, winning five Emmy awards, creating such unforgettable characters as Sue Ann Nivens and Rose Nylund, and appearing in a host of television classics.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I don't understand why this was abridged...
- By Gina M Clingerman on 12-16-15
By: Betty White
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The Last Black Unicorn
- By: Tiffany Haddish
- Narrated by: Tiffany Haddish
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36,512
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32,501
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32,352
Tiffany can't avoid being funny: it's just who she is. But The Last Black Unicorn is so much more than a side-splittingly hilarious collection of essays - it's a memoir of the struggles of one woman who came from nothing and nowhere. A woman who was able to achieve her dreams by reveling in her pain and awkwardness, showing the world who she really is, and inspiring others through the power of laughter.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting...
- By The2ndhorseman on 12-24-17
By: Tiffany Haddish
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Catch and Kill
- Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators
- By: Ronan Farrow
- Narrated by: Ronan Farrow
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 18,904
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,801
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Story5 out of 5 stars 16,708
In 2017, a routine network television investigation led to a story only whispered about: one of Hollywood’s most powerful producers was a predator, protected by fear, wealth, and a conspiracy of silence. As Farrow drew closer to the truth, shadowy operatives, from high-priced lawyers to elite war-hardened spies, mounted a secret campaign of intimidation, threatening his career, following his every move, and weaponizing an account of abuse in his own family.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book
- By Jonathan Knodel on 10-16-19
By: Ronan Farrow
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Girl Logic
- The Genius and the Absurdity
- By: Iliza Shlesinger
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik, Iliza Shlesinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,644
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,996
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,964
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A delight
- By Haha917 on 03-28-18
By: Iliza Shlesinger
What listeners say about Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Janna C.
- 10-06-16
Raw, Funny, Keep Guessing...
Only a few months into discovering the wit, and radical honesty of Chelsea Handler, has an advantage of total emmersion into all things Chelsea. Her stories are unusually, humorous. So much so I found my self asking myself, is she for real??? My favorite parts were the slumber party discovery and her dad's rental property dream or nightmare, depending on who is talking about it. I love that she is who she is, loved or hated no in between.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jennie B.
- 09-17-18
Hysterical
This book is hysterical and had me laughing out loud the majority of the time. Highly recommend!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cristian Sullivan
- 12-27-18
Chelsea is a sassy sociopath
AND I LOVE HER FOR IT
Hilarious from start to finish, just like all her audio books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- rotem
- 12-31-14
Very funny!
Chelsea handler is very funny... And I enjoy to listen to her hilarious life experience. I recommend this audio book:)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Bianca
- 08-13-16
Not sure.
Funny, entertaining, and ridiculous stories but I didn't know where it was going. Worth listening to, though.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- L. Kay
- 03-09-15
Hilarious
Can't get enough of Chelsea!! The best way for me to escape an awful day at work. Uganda be kidding me is my #1 and this follows suit closely behind!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- heather
- 07-21-15
hilarious
absolutely hysterical I laughed so hard I cried thanks for the escape from political correctness & complaints about life. It was great to laugh at all her shenanigans both real & made up.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Patty Wendling
- 04-10-16
a total laugh out loud 😂😂😂
loved it this one had my laughing out loud can't wait for the next adventure Chelsea will tell us about :-) .
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Ashley Jensen
- 03-19-15
fantastic and funny
I Love it my favorite so far. Chelsea handler is a comedic genius. I'm looking forward to listening to her other books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kalee Stata
- 01-18-20
A good listen
i LOVE Chelsea Handler she is the best so funny & so real & i just will listen to anything she writes ❤
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