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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities | [Chris Kluwe]

Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities

"What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.) Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING. Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: 'This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.' So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this 'collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories' (I have no idea why that's in quotes)."
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Publisher's Summary

"Hi. In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book.

"What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.)

"Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING.

"Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: 'This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.'

"Excessive brags about myself: 'An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom.'

"Oh, and also an essay on the Pope's Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn't draw you in, there's no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I'd go away and die now!

"So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this 'collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories' (I have no idea why that's in quotes).

"Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.

"(You know you want to.)"

©2013 Chris Kluwe (P)2013 Hachette Audio

What the Critics Say

"The most interesting man in the N.F.L." (The New York Times)

"In a league (and sports climate) which has become one, long, repetitive sound bite, a guy who will actually say something meaningful." (BleacherReport.com)

"Chris Kluwe is a glimmering sparklepony of candor (and not afraid to dive fearlessly into the marriage equality debate)." (Mother Jones)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.8 (56 )
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3.7 (53 )
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Story
3.9 (53 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Eric withCheese Ashley Elkhart, IN United States 08-12-13
    Eric withCheese Ashley Elkhart, IN United States 08-12-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
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    1
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    "Great Listen, Great Book"
    If you could sum up Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies in three words, what would they be?

    Funny Honest Liberal


    What did you like best about this story?

    His genuineness and honesty mixed with a dash of humor.


    What does Chris Kluwe bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The emphasis in his reading really adds to the funny nature of the book.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shirley Mepunga West, Australia 07-11-13
    Shirley Mepunga West, Australia 07-11-13 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
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    28
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    "Not to my liking."

    I am a left leaning individual like Chris. I agree with nearly every one of his points of view. However, I find his style obnoxious and worse, he isn't funny. I Didn't laugh once. I found him to be that bad American stereotype. I was hoping to learn a thing or two here. There was nothing for me I'm afraid. If you like his style, then perhaps you will fare better than I.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    A. C. Skinner 07-31-14
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    32
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    Performance
    Story
    "Not as good as I hoped but still pretty good!"
    Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

    Yes, but conditionally and in print as opposed to the audiobook. I respect Kluwe as a person and agree with most of his arguments, but I feel they could have been presented better. In this book he comes across as a bit try-hard which isn't entirely unexpected for someone attempting to follow up an explosive original short work, ie. the epic letter that set this whole thing off.


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    It was reasonably paced. However, I find author-read stories to be hit or miss. Some authors are fantastic and others less-so. I'm afraid this is an example of the latter. I chalk it up to not having the narration experience of many other writers, understandable considering the guy's day-job. The narration felt stilted more often than not, with sentences sounding disconnected from the whole (which got more and more noticeable as it went on). I ended up having to play it at a faster speed just to make myself finish.


    Did Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies inspire you to do anything?

    All other complaints aside, this book was overall pretty good. It really does make you realize the importance of speaking up when you see injustice and standing your ground.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-3 of 3 results
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  • Gavin
    KETTERING, United Kingdom
    6/30/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The best book I've listened to!"
    Would you listen to Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies again? Why?

    I will definitely listen to this book again. I cannot believe this guy is a sportsman and not a professional writer .. His book and his narration is mesmerising! He has my full attention 100% of the time, his topics are interesting, his delivery is precise and comical. I would totally recommend this book to anyone!


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Chris Klewe. He's the only one in it.


    Which scene did you most enjoy?

    It's excellent all of the way through ..


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    And more


    Any additional comments?

    Yes! If anyone can suggest a better book about life/science/human behaviour it will be my next purchase from Audible. I have listened to a lot of audiobooks and the only 1 which comes close to this is The Psychopath test by John Ronson :-)

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
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