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Assholes Finish First | [Tucker Max]

Assholes Finish First

What do you do after you write a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."
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Publisher's Summary

What do you do after you write a number-one best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another f-ing book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

©2010 Tucker Max (P)2010 Simon and Schuster Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.1 (299 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Michael Honolulu, HI, United States 01-05-12
    Michael Honolulu, HI, United States 01-05-12

    World Explorer

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Tucker is an a-hole from start to finish"
    Would you try another book from Tucker Max and/or Tucker Max?

    Maybe if there was more to the book than just having sex with multiple women and drinking stories.


    Would you recommend Assholes Finish First to your friends? Why or why not?

    If they were looking for a break from audiobooks that had some redeeming qualities and just want an escape to the ultimate hedonistic lifestyle. If you need some clever derogatory comments, this is your book.


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Yes - Tucker does a good job of telling his story.


    Was Assholes Finish First worth the listening time?

    Yes, but if it were any longer, I would not have finished it. There are definitely some funny parts.


    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nate Dumonseau 10-02-10 Member Since 2010
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    "Tucker learned to read."

    Upon re-reading "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," I have decided this is as funny, if not more so. That combined with the fact Tucker as infinitely improved his narrating skills makes this book a must read.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Teri Hollister, CA, United States 04-29-11
    Teri Hollister, CA, United States 04-29-11
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    "Awesome book"

    This is a book that is spoken from the first person by an articulate individual that does what he wants and is driven by 2 things beer and women. Some of the stories are crude but hilarious. If you are a type of person that can not laugh at things that are not PC then don't read this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tyrell Washington, INDIANA, United States 10-14-10
    Tyrell Washington, INDIANA, United States 10-14-10
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    "Duped"

    I love the first book, but this one is not funny at all. The first book is awesome. However, like the title says for this book, he comes across as a complete a-hole.
    I think these stories are the ones that were on the cutting floor for his first book.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Michael 05-04-14
    Michael 05-04-14 Member Since 2013
    ratings
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    8
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    "Frattire at its finest."
    Would you listen to Assholes Finish First again? Why?

    Tucker Max is a very interesting author, he curses a lot, so if you are easily offended buy a different book. This book is wildly entertaining, had me laughing out loud at certain places, as enjoyable as all of his other books, I consider them to be self help books for women, because if you read these books you will know, that ASSHOLES truly do, FINISH FIRST.


    What did you like best about this story?

    This like all of Tucker Max's books are a compilation of stories from his many years of fraternization, womanizing, and binge drinking. He truly only has one redeeming quality, that he writes his stories down for the world to enjoy.


    What does Tucker Max bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    His inflection and the way he tells his stories are what makes these books so funny.


    If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

    ASSHOLES truly do, FINISH FIRST


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ariana Winter Garden, FL, United States 02-11-14
    Ariana Winter Garden, FL, United States 02-11-14 Member Since 2014
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    2
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    "Assholes Do Finish First"
    Would you listen to Assholes Finish First again? Why?

    Yes I would. This book is like all the party, without the hangover.


    What other book might you compare Assholes Finish First to and why?

    I actually have no other book to compare to this one. It's like a biography but only the good parts that people actually want to hear about.


    What about Tucker Max’s performance did you like?

    haha, I JUST finished this book, and lets just say the word "performance" made my mind go a little dirty with the reply I was going to give to this answer. So instead, I will just say read the book and I liked it all.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    One word, Midgets.


    Any additional comments?

    I highly recommend this audiobook for anyone who just wants to chill out and have a good time. this book made me laugh and like I said, it's a party without the hangover. Highly recommend it to anyone.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Hanna THORNDIKE, MAINE, United States 08-20-13
    Hanna THORNDIKE, MAINE, United States 08-20-13 Member Since 2013
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    15
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    "Don't Know If I Love Him Or Hate Him"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Assholes Finish First to be better than the print version?

    100% .. having him narrate it made the book even funnier!


    What about Tucker Max’s performance did you like?

    He is such an asshole, and it works!


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    No but I listened to all his audio books back to back, and didn't get bored!


    Any additional comments?

    If you like him you should definitely listen to Chelsea Handler's My Horizonal Life, she is the female version of Tucker Maxx!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jason McHenry, IL, United States 10-22-12
    Jason McHenry, IL, United States 10-22-12
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    "Once you heard one you heard them all"

    Its really just a story about how an over privileged rich kid wasted his daddys time and money while contracting all sorts of venereal diseases and being a complete douche. Hope they serve beer in hell was good, but it starts to get old.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    justin berwick, LA, United States 10-08-12
    justin berwick, LA, United States 10-08-12
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    "WOW"
    Where does Assholes Finish First rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    1


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Assholes Finish First?

    he tells great stories if your into the funny, drinking, and partying type of stories.


    Have you listened to any of Tucker Max’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    They are dead on with his other books


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    no


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Marcus Columbus, NE, United States 09-13-12
    Marcus Columbus, NE, United States 09-13-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Tucker, Hire Someone To Read For You"
    What made the experience of listening to Assholes Finish First the most enjoyable?

    Hilarious, if you like drunk/clever humor, this is for you, if you don't, you're the reason this book is so damn funny.


    Would you listen to another book narrated by Tucker Max?

    No, unless he wrote it.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    No, way too funny. Laughed so hard many times I had to pause it.


    Any additional comments?

    Tucker needs to never read his own books again, he gets women because he's clever, but his voice is not at all what you pictured. I read the first book and got this on Audible and wow, he's delivery, no sarcastic tones when he's obviously kidding, his yelling was more like loud talking and when he describes people, he doesn't seem excited nor ticked off. He's obviously really good at expressing himself drunk, I wish he would have performed this drunk.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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