Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

By: Chelsea Handler

Narrated by: Chelsea Handler

Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins

Publisher's summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." ( New York Times)

loved!

I just love everything by Chelsea Handler! she makes me laugh until it hurts! would totally recommend!!!!

gotta lover her

I love Chelsea I have listened to this read about 3 times already. I love chelsea she is the best. This book was anothe tale about stories in her life and they all were very funny and paints a clear picture. i ddin't want it to end I wanted to hear more from her. I can't wait to get the next one.

Pure Entertainment

You must have a sense of humor to enjoy Ms. Handler's books and then they are simply over the top. How she comes up with so many different stories is amazing. And her performances of reading them is equally incredible. If you are sensitive to "Political Correctness", then the book is not for you. But if you can read it without judging it or Ms. Handler, you will laugh and laugh. Good dreading!

amazing book

amazing book definitely recommend it to somebody else and well-read Morgan books hilarious stories amazing comedians

Hilariously Captivating!

Was laughing out loud, grinning and grimacing at the hilarious encounters the author wrote about. Her enthusiasm kept me engaged in the book, and recalling punchlines in between listening sessions.

HILARIOUS!!!!!

Chelsea made me laugh for 6 hours nonstop! she has always been a favorite of mine and she did not disappoint!

funny AF

must listen!! great story, funny and sounded even real life. share it with others so they can laugh!!

If you like Chelsea…

This is the 2nd book of hers I’ve read. After finishing this one I went and bought her other two. She is beyond entertaining and honest..a good read!

garbage

trash in trash out. this once funny woman is washed up and sold out.

Crude and not clever

This book it was just crude without counter-balancing cleverness or intelligent humor. Knowing that this was a first person book with quasi-true stories narrated by the author, it made me dislike it even more because I found I could not relate to or generate any affinity for the narrator/author. I would not want this woman as a friend or even a travel companion on a long flight. I stopped listening half way through (which I never do) even though I was on a long trip and had no actual paper books to read and had listened to all my audible books already. I ended up re-listening to stories I had heard before. Don't waste your credit.