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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Audiobook

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

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Publisher's Summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler; (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." (New York Times)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.0 (2427 )
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  •  
    DORIS EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ, United States 01-27-11
    DORIS EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ, United States 01-27-11 Member Since 2010
    ratings
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    2
    Overall
    "A laugh a minute"

    The adventures and thought processes of Chelsea Handler are a scream! I laughed from beginning to end. Great mindless entertainment.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10
    Leah York, PA, United States 11-05-10 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    22
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    "Enjoyable!"

    I found the new stories in this book very enjoyable. However, some of them were repeated from her previous book and/or lingered on. I did enjoy hearing the book read by the author herself.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Normunds CENTREVILLE, VIRGINIA, United States 10-09-10
    Normunds CENTREVILLE, VIRGINIA, United States 10-09-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Normen"

    Great book. Driving and listening material. I like it. Some chapters in little bit boring

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sarah Alexandria, VA, United States 09-26-10
    Sarah Alexandria, VA, United States 09-26-10
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
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    "HILARIOUS!"

    I couldn't stop listening -- Chelsea is ridiculously funny, and her book is far better than her daily show on E! I really love it when the author reads his/her own audio books too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Eric Redford, MI, United States 09-25-10
    Eric Redford, MI, United States 09-25-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not really that good."

    This book seemed like a forced attempt at humor. I went in with an open mind but I couldn't get past the forced feeling I got with the stories. It seemed as if she was just making things up for the sake of being funny, instead of slightly embellishing for the sake of humor, like any other comedian (I use this term loosely) would do. I admit that I am not a fan of Chelsea but I did go in with an open mind. I did the same thing with Kathy Griffin's latest book and I came out of it really liking her as a person and I hoped to do the same with Chelsea but I couldn't. I suggested avoiding this book like the plague and listening to any other book ever made.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kelly TROUT LAKE, WA, United States 09-17-10
    Kelly TROUT LAKE, WA, United States 09-17-10
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    1
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    "Good Title, Poor Book"

    I found myself cringing, more than laughing. Handler attemps to mimmick the tongue-in-cheek, matter-of-fact style of Amy Sedaris. Sadly, she just comes off as a nasty human being. She tells of her quirky family and her role within it, however, the stories are more depressing than they are funny. Enjoyment can be found if you don't cringe when you hear a person touting their absolute lack of respect for any part of humanity. Amy Sedaris gets away with her tongue-in-cheek stories because they are just that; tongue-in-cheek. Handler is not so much admitting and repenting her shallow dispostion as revelling in it; which makes the memoir hard to identify with. Altogether shallow and embarassing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TOLEDA Oakland, CA, United States 09-16-10
    TOLEDA Oakland, CA, United States 09-16-10
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    10
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    "gotta lover her"

    I love Chelsea I have listened to this read about 3 times already. I love chelsea she is the best. This book was anothe tale about stories in her life and they all were very funny and paints a clear picture. i ddin't want it to end I wanted to hear more from her. I can't wait to get the next one.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    1-Click Junkie United States 08-28-10
    1-Click Junkie United States 08-28-10 Member Since 2008

    Rabid Listener/Reader and Shopper!

    HELPFUL VOTES
    90
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    "If you Love Chelsea!"

    If you Love Chelsea, then you will enjoy this book. I love the fact that Chelsea is reading it. To me, it makes it funnier. However, I must say, that you need to like Chelsea. I listened to this with my husband (who did listen with me and when I would flip to radio because of going through a toll booth or something - he would usually be the one to flip it back to the book) But anyway - He's not really a Chelsea fan so at the times when I was laughing out loud, he really didn't - but as I said, he DID listen to the whole thing and did manage a couple of chuckles through the book. I really enjoyed it and it made me laugh out loud a bunch - but I'm a fan.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Anne San Francisco, CA, United States 08-20-10
    Anne San Francisco, CA, United States 08-20-10
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    2
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    "Amusing and increasingly likeable"

    A bit silly and crude, so after the first two chapters I thought I might not continue. However, by the end I was enjoying the humor and the 'company' of Chelsea Handler.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    k Grafton, VA, United States 08-16-10
    k Grafton, VA, United States 08-16-10 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Crude and not clever"

    This book it was just crude without counter-balancing cleverness or intelligent humor. Knowing that this was a first person book with quasi-true stories narrated by the author, it made me dislike it even more because I found I could not relate to or generate any affinity for the narrator/author. I would not want this woman as a friend or even a travel companion on a long flight. I stopped listening half way through (which I never do) even though I was on a long trip and had no actual paper books to read and had listened to all my audible books already. I ended up re-listening to stories I had heard before. Don't waste your credit.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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