• Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

  • By: Chelsea Handler
  • Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
  • Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.2 out of 5 stars (3,530 ratings)

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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea  By  cover art

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

By: Chelsea Handler
Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
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Publisher's summary

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

©2008 Chelsea Handler (P)2008 Simon and Schuster, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer. (Jay Leno)
"Chelsea Handler writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy, and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds." (Jennifer Weiner, best-selling author of In Her Shoes)
"There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how [Handler's] jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers' bad-girl school: Tina Fey." ( New York Times)

What listeners say about Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • 3 Stars
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  • 2 Stars
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  • 1 Stars
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Mostly entertaining.

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

Depends on the friend. It is really funny, for the most part. There are some parts that are just too crass for me, but it didn't stop me from finishing the book. I thought she would be a better narrator; she's not horrible, but it was hard to keep listening in the beginning. Glad I did, her narration got better as the book went on.

Would you listen to another book narrated by Chelsea Handler?

Maybe.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Cracks me up

Chelsea is hilarious... This book got me in trouble in my cubical at work as I couldn't help but laugh out loud!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Entertaining and hilarious

I downloaded this for a 2.5 hour drive from LA to Palm Springs and back, and it made the hours fly by. Loved her stories and the way she narrated them. Laughed out loud more than a few times.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious

I bought the book a few years ago and I finally finished it thanks to audible. Her stories are too funny can't wait to hear My Horizontal Life

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Such a GREAT listen!

I didn’t even have a CLUE how much I LOVE Chelsea Handler! Wow! Never watched her show much (for some reason), but now I’m going to get EVERYTHING she’s written!!! Love her! Also one of my fave people to listen to, HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS to women (of course) AND men! Don’t miss this one!!!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

classic Chelsea! loved it!

loved it, wish it was longer! more pros than cons. classic chelsea Handler. ready to read the next one!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • CG
  • 09-11-22

I've just discovered chelsea, where have I been?

I very much enjoyed the book until we got to the midget. I have a true fear of midgets and dwarfs. it was all good till then. I can't wait to listen to more of Chelsea's books and I will be seeking her out on youtube. she's very very funny. we just have to dump the midget stories, I can't deal. I'm almost 5 ft tall, so it's not a height thing
I'm

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • AB
  • 10-26-12

Funny.

The jail sequence was the best. The way she thinks is not normal but yet quite normal if we all admitted it. I love parts about her family. It was worth the read.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Not near as interesting as the last I read

I like chesea and I loved her book recounting her one night stands but in this the story isn't as good and her narration is just not enjoyable.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

LOVED IT!

Very funny! Third time I have read this book and will someday read again! Great read!

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