B.F.F.

A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found

By: Christie Tate

Narrated by: Christie Tate

Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins

Publisher's summary

* “A love story about the miracle of friendship.”—Maggie Smith * “Fearless and unflinching.”—Pittsburgh Post-Gazette *

From the author of Group, a New York Times bestseller and Reese’s Book Club Pick, a poignant, funny, and emotionally satisfying memoir about Christie Tate’s lifelong struggle to sustain female friendship, and the extraordinary friend who changed everything.

After more than a decade of dead-end dates and dysfunctional relationships, Christie Tate has reclaimed her voice and settled down. Her days of agonizing in group therapy over guys who won’t commit are over, the grueling emotional work required to attach to another person tucked neatly into the past.

Or so she thought. Weeks after giddily sharing stories of her new boyfriend at Saturday morning recovery meetings, Christie receives a gift from a friend. Meredith, twenty years older and always impeccably accessorized, gives Christie a box of holiday-themed scarves as well as a gentle suggestion: maybe now is the perfect time to examine why friendships give her trouble. “The work never ends, right?” she says with a wink.

Christie isn’t so sure, but she soon realizes that the feeling of “apartness” that has plagued her since childhood isn’t magically going away now that she’s in a healthy romantic relationship. With Meredith by her side, she embarks on a brutally honest exploration of her friendships past and present, sorting through the ways that debilitating shame and jealousy have kept the lasting bonds she craves out of reach—and how she can overcome a history of letting go too soon.

“An outstanding portrait of self-excavation” (Publishers Weekly, starred review), BFF explores what happens when we finally break the habits that impair our ability to connect with others, and the ways that one life—however messy and imperfect—can change another.

©2023 Christie Tate. All rights reserved. “My Dead Friends”, from WHAT THE LIVING DO by Marie Howe. Copyright ©1997 by Marie Howe. Used by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. (P)2023 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

A little repetitive

High on repitition and low on any groundbreaking insight, this memoir felt like she overthought some of these friendships to a point of monotony. And for all the times she mentioned her sister being the reason for her flawed friendships there was zero mention of her adult relationship which felt awkward and dishonest.

Christie Tate does it again

Another self-aware, beautifully told memoir by Christie Tate, who is a great audiobook reader and has truly learned a lot from her many years of therapy.

Cringe By Necessity

This book gutted me. It’s for every 30-something navigating sobriety, parenthood, and the death of their people and friendships. Christie Tate is so generous to detail her experiences with eating disorders, codependency, jealousy, and pettiness in relationships, humbly reminding us all of our inner child and thrusting taboo topics to the forefront where they belong. Like the author, I’m from Chicago so the hyper-specific detail of the city pulled me in closer. Christie Tate is a better writer than she is a narrator, but I was able to stick with the audiobook version. Beautiful memoir.