The Sociopath Next Door

By: Martha Stout

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

Helped me understand troublemakers in my life.

A May 15, 2009 listener review says, "her tome quickly degenerates into a not-too-subtly veiled commentary on conservatism, Bush and the War on Terror (all quite sociopathic, apparently)."
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Don't let this stop you from buying this book. I was still listening for this "not-too-subtle" commentary when the book was ending. The best guess I can come up with to explain where this slant was heard by the reviewer is the part of the book where Dr. Stout explains the usefulness of a sociopathic mind in a soldier in combat. This is true whether the battle is lead under a conservative or liberal government.
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Don't read too much into your friends, family, co-workers, or acquaintances after finishing this book. After a second time through the book, I have a better understanding of what the Doctor writes and have removed some people from my mental list of possibles, but still have a former co-worker and (sadly) and sibling who still fit the bill.

I hope I'm wrong about one.

Empower yourself

I found this book empowering, if only because it made me realize that some of the cruel behaviors I occasionally observed in my workplace could be the symptoms of sociopathy. Sometimes people I deal with behave in such entirely disgusting ways that I feel baffled that a member of the human race could act as they do. But then I assume I just overacting or misunderstanding the situation. Listening to this book allowed me to accepted the possibility that THEY are the insane ones, not me.

A light(-ish) look at a serious subject

It was quite interesting - a psychologist's examination of the nature of sociopathy which she defines as, essentially, a lack of conscience. Literally... sociopaths don't feel a thing when they do bad things to other people.

Kinda disheartening because, well, there's nothing you can do to "redeem" them since they are incapable of redemption. The author does provide some steps to follow to protect yourself from sociopaths in your life, but since there's nothing to be done for people without a conscience, there's no advice on how to "help" them. (Well, other than to avoid trying to help them because by doing you're playing into their hands and you'll just end up getting hurt by them since that's what they do.)

This is not a self-help book (and if you're a sociopath, you probably won't get the book's point anyway, and, even if you did, you wouldn't care). It's a pop-psychology glimpse at what might be going on inside some of those mean/abusive/controlling people you know in your life.

The only real advice that comes out of it is to get away from a sociopath as quickly as possible... you can't help them - and they don't want to be helped - so just move along.

The narration is good.

The Sociopath Next Door

I read this book when it was published in 2005. I loaned the book out and never got it back. I purchased it on audible on sale. The narrator does an excellent job and the book is even more relevant today in the political times we are living in. It is a great read and I would highly recommended it.

A MUST Read for everyone - especially young people

What made the experience of listening to The Sociopath Next Door the most enjoyable?

This was a very informative book. Helped me understand so many things about certain people in my life.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Not really a favorite character type of book.

What about Shelly Frasier’s performance did you like?

It was fine.

If you could give The Sociopath Next Door a new subtitle, what would it be?

Lessons You Don't Need to Live Through

Any additional comments?

I will have all of my younger children listening to this. It is a good lesson for young people to learn before they are sent into the world alone. Wish I would have been able to share it with my older children. Wish I could have read it before I went out into the world...

Well Done

What did you like best about this story?

Wanting to see the best in everybody, encountering individuals that seemingly just want to inflict as much emotional pain as possible to others is hard to comprehend. This book validates that a significant amount of people actually do act to hurt others just for fun. Several of the examples could have come directly out of my life.

Any additional comments?

I have recommended this audio book to co-workers, friends and family. I consider it to be essential listening for all.

An interesting scholarly book

This is is a very scholarly book. It reads a little bit like a scholarly project (maybe a dissertation?) converted to a commercial book. It has some of the case studies that are fascinating analyses of sociopaths that you think you are going to get when you buy this book. Then several chapters between each of the case studies are scholarly discussions about the topic. Some of them are quite interesting, particularly at the beginning, when the author lays out the general ideas about sociopathy. Later on, though, chapters are belabored and difficult, like one on genetics.

Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention the reader's nasal, whining, annoying, voice. Frankly, there were times when I did not think I could finish the book because of it.

Pulls off an illustration of the guiltless

Pulls off an illustration of the guiltless in our society, and how they blend in. This book shows how to recognize, and thus steer clear of these folks.

Insightful

I found this to be what I was looking for, it explained so many things to me, about people that are sociopath's, and how to relate to them, and than leave them alone. I had the experience of dealing with someone with a sociopath personality, and when I read this book I knew I was not imagining things, because the person seem normal, until you start seeing there dark side, this is a book to read, if you think you are dealing with a sociopath

an excellent analysis of a complex subject.

Would you consider the audio edition of The Sociopath Next Door to be better than the print version?

not better, just different.

What other book might you compare The Sociopath Next Door to and why?

there are a few books coming out on this type of subject, but this author really has a handle on the subject, from her clinical practice as a psychologist, and as one who has studied it in great depth.She knows the signs, and knows what to look for, and has spent her life trying to help the victims of such people. I really enjoyed her little tableaus in which she describes people that she has met either directly or indirectly through her practice.They were a perfect illustration for this subject.

Which scene was your favorite?

NA

If you could give The Sociopath Next Door a new subtitle, what would it be?

Perhaps... 'required reading for those contemplating management roles'
But regardless, it is a useful read for anyone involved in an organization such as a hospital for example.
There is bound to be someone you will recognize from her analysis. Even if you are not working in an organization or similar, it is a useful text, because the subjects (i.e. sociopaths) can be quite baffling to others for a variety of reasons.

Any additional comments?

I live in Adelaide AU, not Alabama USA. Thanks Audible.