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Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood) | [Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff]

Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)

Dirty little secrets.... Every movie and TV star has one. So does every agent and manager. Some producers and studio execs have two or even three. I'm talking about an assistant. Someone to answer your phones, pick up your dry cleaning. Someone to hide your drugs. Your assistant knows what you eat, who you're sleeping with, and what medications you're taking. They listen in on your phone calls. They are the eyes and ears of Hollywood...and occasionally they talk.
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Publisher's Summary

Dirty little secrets.... Every movie and TV star has one. So does every agent and manager. Some producers and studio execs have two or even three. I'm talking about an assistant. Someone to answer your phones, pick up your dry cleaning. Someone to hide your drugs. Your assistant knows what you eat, who you're sleeping with, and what medications you're taking. They listen in on your phone calls. They are the eyes and ears of Hollywood...and occasionally they talk.

Culled from dozens of interviews with former and current Hollywood assistants, Where's My F*cking Latte is a no-holds-barred insider's look at what really goes on behind Tinseltown's closed doors.

©2007 Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff (P)2012 Glenneyre Press, LLC

What the Critics Say

"I can tell you firsthand that what goes on behind the scenes of Hollywood's glittering facade is usually shocking, insane and full of sex offers. Where's My F*cking Latte perfectly captures the abusive and often hysterically unbelievable world of celebs and Tinseltown power-brokers and the culture of excess and entitlement they live in. Two thumbs WAY, WAY UP!" (Daniella Cracknell, Publicist to many of TV's iconic stars, such as Dick Clark, Howie Mandel, Geraldo Rivera, Mario Lopez to name a few...)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

2.4 (21 )
5 star
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2.8 (20 )
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Story
2.6 (20 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Pamela Gates Mills, OH, United States 07-23-12
    Pamela Gates Mills, OH, United States 07-23-12 Member Since 2004
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
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    17
    1
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    FOLLOWING
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    "Weak"
    Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?

    This book was a tease for juicy and titillating pop culture inside dirt. Sure we can guess who the celebs are, but clearly the author didn't want to spill too much so he can still work in the business. Barely kept me awake on a long drive.....


    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Erica 09-25-12
    Erica 09-25-12 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    12
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    8
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "dissappointing"
    Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?

    no, his voice is not nice to listen too


    What was most disappointing about Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s story?

    you could never tell if the story was from a man or woman's point of view. The voices he used were really annoying and his inflections sometimes made no sense. I found myself wanting the book to end a lot.


    Would you be willing to try another one of Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s performances?

    no


    What character would you cut from Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)?

    none in particular. they were all relatively the same. The stories weren't funny as much as repulsive. Nothing was overly unexpected


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joyce Nepean, Ontario, Canada 09-24-12
    Joyce Nepean, Ontario, Canada 09-24-12

    I read, I write, I paint, I am in love with my husband. I am better at reading than writing, as I will at least finish reading a book.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    109
    9
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    FOLLOWING
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    Performance
    Story
    "IN YOUR FACE Narration"

    Though I did enjoy the sordid and crazy tales that some assistants were willing to share, I found myself wishing for more. The stories are told well enough that it's night on impossible to figure out whom the stories might apply to. They are also surprising enough that you may feel slightly disgusted, but hey - it's Hollywood.

    I found Nemcoff's narration a little in your face. If it's possible, I'd say he YELLED the entire time - but I am sure it's down to the listener's interpretation. The only part I found slightly annoying was the lack of pause between stories.

    Nary a second between one story to the next, if your ears blink, you will miss the end of one story and wonder how you ended up with a literary agent's sordid tale when you started with the skeleton of a promising young director.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Sean J. Stanley Baltimore, MD 09-11-13
    Sean J. Stanley Baltimore, MD 09-11-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    9
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
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    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
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    Performance
    Story
    "Failed actor auditions with every chapter..."

    Oh no. What should have been a fun read (and it was fun when I read the preview pages to myself on Amazon) was a nightmare of overwrought "acting". Nemcoff is yet another Hollywood hack who decided a stunt book like this was his ticket to making rent. The content, culled from personal anonymous PA stories is not that bad. Sanitized and anonymized, but interesting. Unfortunately, his delivery comes off as a clumsy "Reading Rainbow" impersonation , as if the audience were children, intoning emotion and emphasis seemingly at random, with no value added to the tales. But don't take my word for it...

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Steffi H. Los Angeles, Ca 03-26-13
    Steffi H. Los Angeles, Ca 03-26-13 Member Since 2012
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Terrible Narration, funny stories"
    Would you be willing to try another one of Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s performances?

    No, I didn't like his voice. He did a good job writing the book and putting together the stories, but a different narrator should have been chosen.


    Do you think Where's My F-cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood) needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

    I'd like to see a follow-up, since the stories were quite amusing. But definitely not narrated by Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff.


    Any additional comments?

    The narration was terrible! I couldn't tell where one story ended and the new one started. There was no pause in between chapters. Very confusing.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joseph A Smith Beaverton, Oregon United States 08-27-12
    Joseph A Smith Beaverton, Oregon United States 08-27-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    1
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    3
    1
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Don't waste your time."
    Would you try another book from Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff and/or Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff?

    Absolutely not. He seems obnoxious.


    What was most disappointing about Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff’s story?

    Boreing. Nothing really revealed.


    How could the performance have been better?

    A better performer.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    disappointment


    Any additional comments?

    A waste of time and money.

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
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