Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

And Other Things I've Learned

By: Alan Alda

Narrated by: Marc Cashman

Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins

Publisher's summary

He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors - a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.

"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was 6," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.

Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.

It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.

From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

©2005 Alan Alda (P)2005 Books on Tape, Inc.

Critic reviews

"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)

Sometimes hilarious memoir

Alan Alda has written an interesting memoir about a remarkable childhood. It's hard to imagine a childhood so alien, so removed from mainstream American culture, surrounded by naked women and bawdy vaudeville comics, spent on trains rattling around the country in the middle of the night, from one seedy venue to the next. I really got a feel for the experience listening to this book. What I find really compelling, however, is the self-deprecating humor sprinkled throughout the book. As a Hollywood memoir Alda is refreshingly honest and introspective about his talents, his intellect, and his ego. His frustration and frequent anger towards his mentally ill mother is presented very candidly. And he doesn't take himself too seriously. At times this is laugh out loud hilarious.

I do wish Alda had read the memoir himself, however, because he has such a distinctive writing voice, and his voice itself is so familiar from all those years on television, that it's frankly <em>weird</em> hearing someone else's voice telling his life in the first person. The only way I can describe the reader of this book's voice quality is, if Martin Sheen was really <em>really</em> gay, he'd sound like the guy that read this book. That's not a slur, just an observation. I'm gay myself.

Isn't Alda an Actor?

Alda's book is in first person, but read by someone else. This was very confusing. It took me almost halfway through the book before I could hear Alda's voice in my head over the narrator. If he'd done his own narration (I can't imagine this to be a stretch -- he is an actor after all.), I would have given it a higher rating. It was entertaining and surprisingly introspective.

Love Alan Alda

This is a great biography. Mr Alda's wit shows throughout this book. It is a neat opportunity to get to know some of the inside of the actor as a person growing up and some of the presonal struggles he triumphed over.

I would highly recommend this for anyone that enjoys the works of Alan Alda.

A revealing and honest memoir

If you are expecting a tantalizing tell all, you will be sorely disapointed. Alda is merciful to his famous friends, mentioning them only to praise them. He is not nearly so kind to himself. He is honest in his portrait of his early life and the mental illness his mother suffered. All of the poignant episodes of this well loved actor's life are handled with grace and the famous Alda humor. I only wish that more time had been spent discussing M*A*S*H, which was perhaps his greatest contribution to popular culture. However all in all, this is a well done and witty memoir.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

GOOD BOOK. Reading about Alfa, his family and especially his parents was fascinating. At times his struggles over his learning to act or direct became a bit tedious. However, overall an enjoyable book.

interesting story

Eish Alan Alda would have narrated his story, so I was dosappointed to learn he hadnt.

Made my commute easier to take

I have an hour commute each way to and from work. This was my first audiobook and, for the first time, I couldn't wait to get in my car to commute to/from work. I didn't mind the traffic jams, because it allowed me to listen to this story longer.

I probably would never have bought this in hardcopy book (I tend to be restless and can't sit still long enough to read), but I'm glad I picked this one as my first audiobook. I really enjoyed the story!

I would have preferred the author's narration

I kept trying to hear Alan Alda's voice while listening to this great story. I enjoyed it thoroughly and the narration was well done, but I wanted to hear Mr Alda throughout.

Great autobiography, but...

This is everything that an autobiography should be. A good story filled with anecdotes, feelings, and behind-the-scenes information.

There's just one thing missing. Where's Alan? I don't understand why Mr. Alda didn't read his own audio book.

I know he's quite busy, but this would have made the book much more enjoyable.

Toothsome mind stuffing anyway

Alda's book is as pleasant as he appears in person on TV. Ever the gentle person, he never gossips about movie people, much as he must know his readers would like to hear it. He does, however, provide a list of movie stars he has kissed. His word pictures of his life create a clear picture of a show business life (from birth on) that has been lived without sensation. I enjoyed his wonderful humor and love of language.