A Troll Walks into a Bar

A Noir Urban Fantasy Novel (Alexander Southerland, P.I., Book 1)

By: Douglas Lumsden

Narrated by: Duffy P. Weber

Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins

Publisher's summary

A troll in a pinstriped suit walks into a bar. He's looking for Alex Southerland, private investigator and summoner of elementals. A gorgeous dame is going to come to Southerland with a case, and the troll tells him that he is going to turn the case down - or else! But Southerland doesn't respond well to threats, even from a seven-and-a-half foot, 500-pound enforcer. Besides, he needs the dough! The stubborn PI soon finds himself cruising through the traffic-jammed streets of Yerba City in an outlandish beastmobile borrowed from a glorified pimp, encountering corrupt city officials, deadly gang bosses, creatures of legend, the sleaziest attorney in the city, a were-rat, and an irresistible - if homicidal - refugee from the ocean depths. Framed for a murder he didn't commit, Southerland weaves his way from seedy neighborhoods to the dazzling lights of downtown - and from one savage beating to the next - to clear his name and uncover a shocking secret.

©2019 Douglas W Lumsden (P)2020 Douglas W Lumsden

Enjoyed the entire series

This has been one of my favorite series. Great characters and storylines. Can't wait for the next installment!

Interesting story

The story was quite good with few plot holes and few issues with story. The detective was a hard boiled wizard detective in a rich world.

Gritty Private Detective In A Fantastical World

Very entertaining. Great for fans of The Dresden Files or Luke Arnold’s Fetch Philips series. Top notch audiobook performance. Highly Recommended.

Solid Noir

This was a good solid Noir story with some fantasy elements. The narrator did a good job with the voices and had the right sound for a gritty noir tale.

Better than you’d think

Pretty good noir urban fantasy story. The cover kind of threw me off, same with not knowing the narrator.

The narrator is good, but one character does sound like Kenny from South Park. It’s all I could think about when that character came on.

5 Stars

Fantastic read and great voice acting! A classic detective story with well incorporated sci-fi/fantasy themes.

I'm so glad I found this series.

The Alex Southerland series is a great series for fans of the Dresden files. I've really enjoyed all of this series.

Great Urban Fantasy Book

If you are a fan of Jim Butcher’s Dresden files, then certainly give A Troll Walks into a Bar a read. P.I. Alex Southerland fills in a unique world with his wit, sarcasm and survival skills trying to come up with rent money. Trolls, gangs, and nymphs are just another day in the life of Southerland. Really great book by Douglas Lumsden.

Sin City meets classic fantasy meets Max Payne

What a fun opening title to a book – I was rewarded in my expectation of a fun ride.

PI Alexander Southerland isn’t on the greenest of pastures. Rent is due, and he is contemplating what to do. And Alex isn’t a mere human. He is a summoner of air elementals and a proper guy with the heart in the right place. So, it doesn’t take much for him to jump down the rabbit hole, when he is told in no uncertain terms NOT to take a case, which he doesn’t even know about, yet.

Sutherland’s adventure has all the trimmings of a great detective novel and/but so much more: A damsel in distress (two, actually), a wild youth that wisdom cannot temper, the stranger that helps (and is clearly much more than he seems), street smart allies. Then there is the bad side, with gangsters and the worse side – which almost every major city has but no one really wants to know. Oh, and magical beings that also lend a hand.

Soon Sutherland finds himself at odds with the law, framed for a murder he didn’t commit in the midst of a plot that goes much deeper and is much more than can be gleaned initially. Whom can he trust? How can he ensure his own survival? It’s a breakneck adventure (well, jaw, really – but that’s beside the point) but it rolls of so smoothly it’s a true joy. I love it when there is a solid explanation – especially the “this is how I did it” flashbacks- to how a disaster is…mitigated.

Curried with the oddities that different races, immersive world lore and not least magic afford the tale, this is a cool, fantastic tale. I am getting notes of Sin City, Roger Rabbit and the 2017 flick “Bright” all meeting Max Payne (albeit Sutherland is much less pained than him) and some of the Discworld weird (but without the flimsy). I love the whole premise, and the execution. The characters have charm and flair – and I love that everything is as it seems – except; it’s not. Suspenseful, exiting – FUN!

I thoroughly enjoyed the narration by Duffy Weber. In my opinion he nailed my stereotypical imagination about how the races in their different occupations would sound. He gives the complete cast easily identifiable and pleasant voices, in a tone and style that really does give the book the prerequisite gritty and noir feel. The female voices seem a bit over the top to begin with – but that actually makes perfect sense, given the nature of the cast. They do come across…shrill. I loved the rhythm, the consistency and the depth.

Lengthwise the listen is just about 10h30m - which makes it easily acessible. the pace is great and its full enough to make for a satisfactory listen, without being long winded.

At the end of this first installment, one might wonder: would Sutherland rather have taken the blue pill?
I really hope not. And I am looking forward to the next installment, which I have bought already.

A word of caution:
Strong language, suggestive descriptions.

An apology to Mr. Lumsden:
I was gifted this listen for a review ages ago. I had listened to it, but the review never happened. “Insert bad excuse of choice” – I can’t change that, and I AM sorry, but such as it is, finally here a well-deserved review.

Awesome Story! Fun and Intriguing

I thought this story was creative and interesting.  It had everything a listener would want in a book – mystery, action, interesting characters, and magic.  The characters were well developed and fit perfectly into their roles in the story.  I truly enjoyed the wererat, Badass, and Smoky as side characters.  The role of each character was well defined and detailed. 

The storyline flowed smoothly and kept one’s interest piqued from beginning to end.  While I had not planned on listening to this story in one sitting, it just happened.  I lost all track of time and became embroiled in the plot. 

The narrator, Duffy Weber, gives an excellent performance providing each character with a distinct voice and enhancing their personality through that voice.  I could picture the wererat bouncing up and down on his feet in excitement not only through the word of the author but the style of narration Weber chose to represent him.  Weber is consistent in his narration and articulate.

This is a fun book, one that you will not want to put down until the end, and when the end happens, you will long for more.  Lumsden has the creative ability to keep his audience captivated.

The production quality of this audiobook was well done, clear, and without issue. 

Disclaimer: This Audiobook was provided free of charge by the author, narrator, and/or publisher in exchange for a non-bias, honest review.