"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"Swagger and mirth"
From legendary comedian D. L. Hughley comes a bitingly funny send-up of the Obama years, as "told" by the key political players on both sides of the aisle. What do the Clintons, Republicans, fellow Democrats, and Obama's own family really think of President Barack Obama? Finally, the truth is revealed in this raucously funny "oral history" parody.
"Clever and Hilarious!"
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"The Only Audio Book I Started Again Immediately"
A masterpiece of satire, this classic has entertained and enlightened readers the world over with its sly and ironic portrayal of human life and foibles from the vantage point of Screwtape, a highly placed assistant to "Our Father Below". At once wildly comic, deadly serious, and strikingly original, C.S. Lewis gives us the correspondence of the worldly-wise old Devil to his nephew, Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man.
"One to Read Again and Again"
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
Julia Greenfield has a problem: She's 26 years old, and she's still a virgin. Sex ought to be easy. People have it all the time! But without meaning to, she made it through college and into adulthood with her virginity intact. Something's got to change. To reroute herself from her stalled life, Julia travels to spend the summer with her mysterious aunt Vivienne in North Carolina. It's not long, however, before she unearths a confounding secret - her 58-year-old aunt is a virgin, too.
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
"Like a Cast of Thousands"
A compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike. Adapted from a popular column originally published as "San Francisco's Spiritual Examiner" at examiner.com. "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?"
"Perfect blend of depth and humor"
One part parody, one part fashion fun, and one part personal experience, Grace's latest guide to life as a woman in America today is more H&M than Chanel. So tighten your Banana Republic belt a few notches, and learn how to pretend and convince everyone around you that you've got style and grace!
"Good book! Except this audiobook skipped a part"
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
"Laughed so hard, I cried"
After a freak accident that was definitely not Babe's fault, her estranged mother offers her the perfect escape from LA: an invite to her grandfather's 80th birthday party in Maryland, of all places. Babe's journey throws her headlong into elementary school classrooms full of small, unfashionable people; pizza buffet restaurants that will haunt her nightmares; and eventually back to Los Angeles, thank goodness.
Steve and Orson are back in this cracked sequel to Hell's Super, book two in the new satire and humor series, Circles in Hell. This time, the guys must fix Hell's heating and air conditioning (HVAC) system, which has failed. Hell is getting progressively colder, and things are a lot more serious than devils and demons needing to put on some sweaters.
"A must have for fans of Neil gaimen, terry pratchett, etc"
Kate Schechter would like to know why everyone she meets knows her name - and why Thor, the Norse god of thunder, keeps showing up on her doorstep. Dirk Gently, detective and refrigerator wrestler, can uncover the mystery, and only the absurdist wit of Douglas Adams can recount them with such relentless humor.
"Makes you miss him even more..."
Jon Stewart, host of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning The Daily Show, and his coterie of patriots deliver a hilarious look at American government.
"Runs hot and cold..but when it's hot...it's hot"
Steve Minion attends Beast Barracks, where he learns both the arcane and mundane arts of being a servant of the Devil. Strength, speed, and endurance are all part of a demon's physical makeup, but he must be taught to be sneaky, cruel, and ruthless and of course to ignore personal hygiene. As Steve begins work as a full-fledged bad guy, he must confront the inevitable: demons exist to torment the damned, and Hell's former handyman-in-chief doesn't seem to have the stomach for the work.
"One Day Listen"
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
"Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T."
What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for "truthiness" and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it. The author describes this as a simple audiobook from a simple mind: Stephen Colbert's.
"Funny, but disappointing."
From the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller comes a scathingly funny reinterpretation of The Ten Commandments. They are The Penn Commandments, and they reveal one outrageous and opinionated atheist’s experience in the world.
"More memoir than theology"
From the hit scripted comedy show Effortless comes Effortless Annotated Scriptbook! This collection features remastered, high-quality audio of our first 30 stories.
A humorous and sometimes spot-on guide to the secrets of aging, from an author who, unlike consultants and bureaucrats, has been there and done that.
When drama teacher Paul Samson decides to put on a high school production of Macbeth, he forgets that it isn't just the Scottish play, it is the cursed play. And Paul soon learns just how cursed. After grappling with his principal, the PTA, his family, and his students, he must contend with witches, ghosts, and skeletons from his past. The show is destined from the outset to end badly, but no matter what, Paul cannot cancel the play. Theater has but one rule: The show must go on.
Hilarious, profound, and achingly true to life, Jonas Karlsson's new novel explores the true nature of happiness through the eyes of a hero you won't soon forget. A passionate film buff, our hero's life revolves around his part-time job at a video store, the company of a few precious friends, and a daily routine that more often than not concludes with pizza and a movie in his treasured, small space in Stockholm. When he receives an astronomical invoice from a random national bureaucratic agency, everything will tumble into madness.
With a growing band of oddball friends, Ben's adventures escalate in strange and uproarious ways. He must complete an unknown quest before he has any chance of getting home. Weirdness and danger abound, and there is still no pizza!
In direct response to the lasting negative effects of the Bush administration, Beat Me Sweetly, Heavy Jesus portrays a United States misrun by a series of Bush clones, each more degraded than the last, anchoring a destructive and self-fellating government which more closely resembles a monarchy. Cast into dismal times are Joe and Sam, men who struggle to survive within the new economy of the reign of President Bush VIII.
Parody - don't buy if you don't understand humor, please! Paris - the city of lights and dog shit. Where the women don't shave their armpits, but they spend millions on perfume. The most-visited city in the world. The best city for gullible tourists, then. Learn the scams, learn the places to avoid. Here's an example for the Eiffel Tower: Known as the "awful tower" locally. Locals often go to the top, as that's the only part of Paris where you can't see it. Long queues.
There is a man who has lost all hope in life. He has been brought up to do the right thing, but has never been able to show much emotion. After the death of his beloved wife, Ove has no reason to live. That is until an Iranian woman named Parwaneh shows up next door with her clumsy husband and two adorable daughters. Gradually, Ove realizes that as much as he misses his wife, he could contribute something to society and, in turn, gain from other people.
Why can't Millie Lord remember who she is? What is Birdly Laughing? Does Dr. Nottle's Cheese Diet work? Crane Mansions is a novel for grown-up children, a darkly comic and magical world in which the wondering, fantasy, and confusion of children come face-to-face with the schemes, delusions, and machinations of adults.
Sherlock Holmes meets the Beatles in this comic mystery story. Hear how Sherlock gets to the bottom of one of the most famous mysteries in music history: the Paul McCartney death clues.
What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times best-selling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody book intended for adults that would be hysterical if it wasn't so true.
Public Hangings: Tickets for these are understandably popular, but your hotel can usually get you good seats for a small fee. Restaurants / Dining Out: Westerners in particular find many of the meals offered to be unusual, although nutritious dog and (protein rich) caterpillars are making fewer appearances on tourist menus these days. Always remember that if you don't actually enjoy a meal, it is unlikely that you will keep it for long, anyway.
Years before they made headlines with the Ghostbusters, Erin Gilbert and Abby L. Yates published the groundbreaking study of the paranormal, Ghosts from Our Past. Once lost to history, this criminally underappreciated book is now back in print, revised and somewhat updated for the new century. According to Gilbert and Yates, "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence", and whether you're a believer or a skeptic, you'll find the information you're seeking right here in this extraordinary book.
Hi, I'm Nicole. I met Zara - she's my life coach - a few months ago when I became one of the first members of the B.I.G. Girls Club. I hadn't even realized the bad space I was in until she showed me that there was another way to be living my life now, regardless of what the numbers on the scale tell me. And isn't it crazy how much those numbers can affect our moods? Now I'm fully onboard and determined to change my life, regardless of what Joe - he's my boyfriend - says.
I didn't expect to spend my annual company party sobbing in a photo booth, wearing nothing but a homemade grass skirt and a pair of coconuts. I also didn't expect to lose my apartment, my job, and my boyfriend in a rapid series of embarrassing events. Events that, unfortunately, also landed me in a bit of hot water, and left me with a secret that only money can fix. So when the opportunity arose to enter my book club buddies into a contest for a chance to win $50,000, I took it. I just forgot to tell them about it.
"Road trippin' with my two favorite allies..."
In modern-day America, Dez is a former lawyer and teacher - an ephebophile with a proclivity for teenage girls hiding out in a trailer park with his latest conquest, Chloe.
Having been in and out of courtrooms (and therapists' offices) for a number of years, Dez is adrift, at odds with a society that persecutes him over his desires. From his couch one afternoon, Dez watches an interview with Jasper Ulrickson, a doting father and loving husband whose heartrending memoir, Lessons from My Daughter, has become a national best seller.
Once in a lifetime, like rising cream, a literary work emerges from obscurity, penned by an author with the ability to take the listener's hand and lead him (or her, or uncommitted) on a journey of transformation that eternally changes one's perspective on life. A tome so powerful, it shakes the very foundation of contemporary thought, culture, and philosophy and challenges the value system of an entire generation. This is not that book. Still, I'm sure it will come in handy somehow.
Rita and Evan begin their marriage by trying to deal with the bride's recovered memory of a trauma. They fail to adjust to family life quickly enough to please the Sicilian father of the bride, Angelo, who never hesitates to give his opinion. When Evan misses his first family funeral, he gets in trouble early on, and it only gets worse when Rita attends successive family functions alone. Angelo accuses his son-in-law of blowing the whole marriage by working too much, and insists Evan do his job and watch Rita.
Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
"A Goldmine of Weirdness"
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut’s words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"This IS nice"
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
"Qualifies as my most irritating Audible purchase"
In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O'Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman - a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, and thus of avoiding calling attention to one's own awkwardness and stupidity.
Gazing into the bathroom mirror one morning while shaving, Josh Kornbluth realizes that he looks remarkably like the guy on the $100 bill. Like any good Jewish son, he immediately calls his mother. From there he becomes obsessed with what it means to be a founding father, especially when your own father/son relationship (Ben had an illegitimate son named William who was a British loyalist during the Revolutionary War) is more than a bit strained.
They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same.
"Hilarious...but maybe not for everyone"
P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.
The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.
"Thought provoking message"
A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.
"Not a bad proposal at all"
They were bored, broke, burned out, and turning 40, so when Ben and Dinah saw the advert looking for a husband and wife team with young kids to write a guidebook about family travel around Britain, they jumped at the chance. With naïve visions of staring moodily across Coniston Water and savouring Cornish pasties, they embark on a mad-cap five-month trip with daughter Phoebe, four, and son Charlie, two, embracing the freedom of the open road with a spirit of discovery and an industrial supply of baby wipes.
"Laugh, Learn and Cry a Bit"
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
"Not A Bad Deal At All"
It’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment - better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off.
"I PAID MONEY FOR THIS!!!??$?"
A quirky and darkly comic take on domestic life in southern India. Ousep Chacko, journalist and failed novelist, prides himself on being "the last of the real men." This includes waking neighbors upon returning late from the pub. His wife Mariamma stretches their money, raises their two boys, and, in her spare time, gleefully fantasizes about Ousep dying. One day, their seemingly happy seventeen-year-old son Unni - an obsessed comic-book artist - falls from the balcony, leaving them to wonder whether it was an accident.
Your future is...limited! Wait, we mean...limiting...No, hold on...limitless. Sometimes your first steps into the "real world" send you falling flat on your face. It's natural to be optimistic about new experiences, but most of us set ourselves up only to be let down every time. And disappointment hurts like a $%&*#. News flash: You don't have to be an Einstein to survive adult life. You don't even have to abandon your standards to get what you want. All you have to do is keep your expectations realistic.
"If only I had this book in my twenties"
Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents’ house.
The hilarious new spoof diet book from New York Times best-selling author Chris Dolley. It's a fun, quick listen, covering everything from "the science of possession" to "Crapper Clinic's Demon Dating Service", while ensuring "clients" are possessed by the demon most compatible with their slimming needs. This is the diet book that everyone is talking about.
Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That's right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won't have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book....