What's not to like. Cute stories about his life and career seasoned with the unique Shatner flavor. I only wish it was longer. If you like William Shatner than you like like this one.
Admit it. You want to BE William Shatner. This collection of rules, illustrated with stories from Bill’s illustrious life and career, will show you how Bill became WILLIAM SHATNER, larger than life and bigger than any role he ever played. Shatner Rules is your guide to becoming William Shatner. Or, more accurately, beautifully Shatneresque.
"I can't believe he's 80!"
Torpedo Your Balls didn't just backstroke its way into your audio player. It is in fact the result of hours of chlorinated paranoia, sideways looks from concerned strangers, and pool times cut short for dozens of confused children. No other pool-time game is as unignorable, so outwardly detested, and so secretly admired. A champion of Torpedo Your Balls is a champion of life. Get ready to ruin pool time forever.
Including the political humour best-sellers "It's All Bollocks" and "It's All a Load of Shit". Welcome to the world according to Angry Dave.
When Lady Evangeline Stoddard, Countess of Wibley, takes on a job as housekeeper for Wizard Winkle, she finds herself in a grumpy old house that's determined to give her as much trouble as possible. But she is determined to prove that she is capable of holding down a job - even if it kills her.
You are the newest resident at the Mary Stuart Riley Home for People of Advanced Years, affectionately nicknamed the Last Stop by its residents. If you were thinking about quietly entering your twilight years, think again. And if you try slipping peacefully into the hereafter, your fellow white-hairs will pull you back by your ankles, all the while chanting something indecipherable but that can only mean life! No one ever dies at the Last Stop; they just decide to move on.
Wanna learn to talk Bawstin (Boston)? It's not Beantown ! With this introductory dictionary, you'll be talkin' like yaw from Bawstin in no time! And don't pawk the cah in Hawvid Yahd!
The much-loved Guardian columnist asks what it takes to make a husband, and looks to his own married life to provide the answer. Anything resembling advice should be taken at listener's own risk. You'll never get divorced if you never get married. Not even your granny minds if you live in sin anymore. And if you're single you can choose curtains without somebody else butting in. So why bother with marriage? It can't just be an easy way round having to buy your own deodorant.
"Husband of my dreams"
Let's face it: Selfie pictures aren't going away anytime soon. In fact we can all admit we have taken some of these photos ourselves and posted them to Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Google. You can post a sweet selfie picture pretty much anywhere.
Phil Oglesby hasn't spoken to his mother in years. And she doesn't seem to care until he surprises her with a Mother's Day visit that becomes the biggest mistake he's ever made. Mother's Day is like being invited to a birthday party where the guests decide to hang you. Sometimes in life, it is often a much better idea to stay at home.
When he was in his first year of secondary school, something extraordinary happened. He stumbled, completely by accident, into a Great New World, a world of fantastic sex, opportunity, and Fetus Factories. That's what this book's about. And it's written by the man himself, Axol O'Lerpler.
Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car.
"One big inside joke"
In this candid first-person memoir, Huckleberry gives you an insider's view of his beleaguered campaign, such as it is: a hilarious clown car packed with an astonishing array of fear-mongering grotesques, xenophobic paranoids, closeted bigots, and rapacious, self-promoting Conservative pundits, all of them poised to commandeer America's future in the name of God and unrestrained capitalism (not necessarily in that order).
"Hilarious, Smart, and Scary"
We've all seen the news over the last few years, watching in wonder and disbelief at the situations the people entrusted to run the country get themselves into and then proceed to lie their way out of. Just imagine--and this won't be hard--that they were so stupid they wrote reviews of the items that got them into or out of their latest bits of trouble and posted them online.
Welcome to the mysterious town of Whitby, where all the monsters and demons of old come to retire and live out the remainder of their spooky days and nights and eat fish and chips on the seafront. There's a strange new landlady in town, opening a B&B by the harbour; a lady with a tall black beehive, nasty scars about her person and a very chequered past.
The Scarifyers is a series of rip-roaring tales of comedic supernatural intrigue set in 1930s Britain, distilling the likes of Dick Barton, The Avengers, The Devil Rides Out and Quatermass into cracking new audio adventures. The Scarifyers is broadcast on BBC Radio 4 Extra, and has been described in the national press as "a slice of audio perfection," "the smartest and most enjoyable thing on British radio," and "like Tintin but with the lights out."
Dame Edna Everage, housewife and megastar, not to mention investigative journalist, social anthropologist, swami, and chanteuse, describes her life and times, from her humble beginnings in the Melbourne suburb of Moonee Ponds, to her marriage to Lord Norm Everage in 1946 and her subsequent rise to megastardom. More than a show-biz autobiography, more than a housewife's diary, more than a chunk of history - this is a Hymn to Life.
In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O'Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman - a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, and thus of avoiding calling attention to one's own awkwardness and stupidity.
This might sound funny to you right now, but what if it happens? You would be glad you have listened to this book. Plus, it is possible for you to use some ideas here for real emergencies, like typhoons, tsunami or earthquake. How Zombies Come into Being. You must have seen at least a dozen films depicting zombies eating flesh and taking over an entire metropolis, but, hey, where do zombies originate and why do they enjoy eating brains that much?
A plague of mutant grasshoppers is invading American suburbia. An underground suicide cult is gaining national prominence. Gangs of teenage boys with blow torches run amok. But what really has 14-year-old Edie Stein distracted from her town's annual Feminine Woman of Conscience Pageant is Lana Grimaldi, the sexy girl next door. How does a feminine woman of conscience deal with her?
At the turn of the millennium, Holly's lifelong dream of writing music for a major orchestra quickly spirals into a hellish nightmare. Ensnared in a tangled web of deceit at the highest levels of Government, the beautiful 30-year-old composer is sucked into a lion's den of debauchery from which there is only one avenue of escape. When a suppressed childhood memory rears its ugly head she wreaks vengeance on the psycho ex-rock star who violates her.
This is a satirical take on relationship self-help books and get-rich-quick guides designed to make you laugh and to raise awareness about the complex motivations and social dynamics behind men's latent self-destructive tendencies to give up everything for a girl with a pretty smile and dimples. On the other hand, it is also a get-rich-quick guide for women on the fine art of breaking down a man's defenses to max out his credit cards and liquidate his whole net worth.
"Sometimes the best comedy are unsavory truths"
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
"Not so much."
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
"Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T."
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
"Funny as Sin"
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
"Like a Cast of Thousands"
A masterpiece of satire, this classic has entertained and enlightened readers the world over with its sly and ironic portrayal of human life and foibles from the vantage point of Screwtape, a highly placed assistant to "Our Father Below". At once wildly comic, deadly serious, and strikingly original, C.S. Lewis gives us the correspondence of the worldly-wise old Devil to his nephew, Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man.
"So much truth, much of it scary."
A compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike. Adapted from a popular column originally published as "San Francisco's Spiritual Examiner" at examiner.com. "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?"
"Perfect blend of depth and humor"
In President Me, Carolla shares his vision for a different, better America free from big issues like big government down to small problems like hotel alarm clock placement. Running on an anti-narcissism platform, President Carolla calls for a return to the values of an earlier time when stew and casserole were on every dinner table and there were no “service dogs” on airplanes. President Me hits right at the heart of what makes our country really annoying, and offers a plan to make all of our lives, but mostly Adam’s, much better.
"Hilarious and Painfully True"
It's anything but Grimm when the Tell 'Em Steve Dave crew gives their hilarious takes on some of the best and least known fairy tales. Join Bryan Johnson, Brian Quinn and Walt Flanagan with special guest Sunday Jeff as they create a magical world of fantasy and wonder, trolls, living plants, and sinful dwarves. It doesn't get any better than this...or funnier.
"TESD Being TESD"
Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the number one nation at being the best at greatness. But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around - we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders.
"Funny as usual"
From the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller comes a scathingly funny reinterpretation of The Ten Commandments. They are The Penn Commandments, and they reveal one outrageous and opinionated atheist’s experience in the world.
"More memoir than theology"
What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for "truthiness" and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it. The author describes this as a simple audiobook from a simple mind: Stephen Colbert's.
"Funny, but disappointing."
Jon Stewart, host of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning The Daily Show, and his coterie of patriots deliver a hilarious look at American government.
"Runs hot and cold..but when it's hot...it's hot"
Look, maybe you're a nice girl, but we're guessing you're more like us or you probably wouldn't have downloaded this audiobook. But being nice is just not the way to get what you want. And this audiobook is about getting what you want. Not in a finding happiness, giving back to the world, being grateful for what you have sort of way. But in a ruling your world, being the most desired, powerful badass in the room way, so you can come out on top of any situation: guys, career, friends, enemies, whatever.
"Waste of a Credit"
Kate Schechter would like to know why everyone she meets knows her name - and why Thor, the Norse god of thunder, keeps showing up on her doorstep. Dirk Gently, detective and refrigerator wrestler, can uncover the mystery, and only the absurdist wit of Douglas Adams can recount them with such relentless humor.
"An Amazingly Perfect Story"
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
"just plain funny"
Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science, and culture - all in a lavishly produced audiobook.
"Good book, not great. But let me explain."
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
Beyond memoir, this guidebook offers practical advice on everything from "How to Be the Black Friend" to "How to Be the (Next) Black President" to "How to Celebrate Black History Month". This is a humorous, intelligent, and audacious guide that challenges and satirizes the so-called experts, purists, and racists who purport to speak for all black people. With honest storytelling and biting wit, Baratunde plots a path not just to blackness, but one open to anyone interested in simply "how to be".
"Funny yet insightful!"
Gazing into the bathroom mirror one morning while shaving, Josh Kornbluth realizes that he looks remarkably like the guy on the $100 bill. Like any good Jewish son, he immediately calls his mother. From there he becomes obsessed with what it means to be a founding father, especially when your own father/son relationship (Ben had an illegitimate son named William who was a British loyalist during the Revolutionary War) is more than a bit strained.
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut’s words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"This IS nice"
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
"Failure to achieve objective."
P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.
"Do not bother"
They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same.
"Bland simply bland!!!!"
A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.
"Not a bad proposal at all"
The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.
"Wish I had someone tell me all of these things"
A quirky and darkly comic take on domestic life in southern India. Ousep Chacko, journalist and failed novelist, prides himself on being "the last of the real men." This includes waking neighbors upon returning late from the pub. His wife Mariamma stretches their money, raises their two boys, and, in her spare time, gleefully fantasizes about Ousep dying. One day, their seemingly happy seventeen-year-old son Unni - an obsessed comic-book artist - falls from the balcony, leaving them to wonder whether it was an accident.
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
"Zombie book was better"
It’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment - better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off.
"save your money"
Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents’ house.
They were bored, broke, burned out, and turning 40, so when Ben and Dinah saw the advert looking for a husband and wife team with young kids to write a guidebook about family travel around Britain, they jumped at the chance. With naïve visions of staring moodily across Coniston Water and savouring Cornish pasties, they embark on a mad-cap five-month trip with daughter Phoebe, four, and son Charlie, two, embracing the freedom of the open road with a spirit of discovery and an industrial supply of baby wipes.
"Laugh, Learn and Cry a Bit"
Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That's right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won't have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book....
Jude, a profoundly unsuccessful chicken farmer, finds himself at the center of Europe’s sovereign debt crisis when Europe’s economic elite convince him that his roofless henhouse needs to become too big to fail. What starts out as a simple roofing job quickly spirals into a hundred-billion euro project to cover Jude’s native Squanderland in solar panels. But when the latest Eurozone scheme plunges his homeland into darkness, Jude must decide whether listening to the experts or listening to his heart will ultimately save his homeland, himself, and his beloved hen, Enda.
The hilarious new spoof diet book from New York Times best-selling author Chris Dolley. It's a fun, quick listen, covering everything from "the science of possession" to "Crapper Clinic's Demon Dating Service", while ensuring "clients" are possessed by the demon most compatible with their slimming needs. This is the diet book that everyone is talking about.
The Donkey and the Darling is an infamous parody of children's fairy tales that is classic Terry Southern. Originally a collaboration with painter Larry Rivers, there were only 35 physical copies created of what turned out to be the most expensive and labor-intensive project ever created by University Limited Art Edition. This audio version is a unique, winking performance by Steven Crossley.