Read by Hollywood's finest, professional narrators and authors too. At Audible you own your books. Audible is not a streaming or rental service.
Listen with the free Audible app on your smartphone or tablet, or on your iPod or computer.
Join us. You can't beat the offer - your first book free! After your free trial you'll get one book every month for just $14.95, your choice, from Audible's 150,000+ titles.
Questions? We're here to help 24/7.
Call anytime (888) 283-5051
After your free trial, you'll get a book every month for just $14.95, that's nearly 50% less than the non-member price per book.
Not happy with a choice you made? Exchange it for another title, any time, no hassles.
Change, hold or cancel your membership at any time. Your service will continue unless you choose to cancel.
Questions? We're here to help 24/7.
Call anytime (888) 283-5051
'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.
You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.
One of NPR's most popular programs, Car Talk lets listeners (2.3 million of them) call in with their car woes while the hosts dish out their wit and know-how. At the end of each hour, 2 of 2 things are guaranteed to happen: you'll learn something about your motor vehicle and you'll have a belly laugh. Get the latest issue or subscribe!
"Whoo hoo! It's CD burnable."
Mitchell and Webb return to their radio roots, and this third fantastic series finds them in their finest-ever sketch-show form.
The fourth BBC 4 radio series starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. The pair have also starred in Channel 4's Peep Show and won numerous BAFTAS, national comedy awards and Chortle awards. Sketches and biting satire are featured, with a cast of four, including David and Robert, performing in front of a live audience. Topics covered in previous series have included 'Numberwang', 'Big Talk', 'Dinner Guests' and the snooker commentators.
Each week, listeners call in with their car woes and brothers in grime Tom and Ray Magliozzi dish out their wit and know-how. Get the latest issue or subscribe, and hear an interview with Tom and Ray.
Inspired nonsense and pointless revelry, it's time for another helping of the antidote to panel games, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. In this ninth collection, the gang returns for further moments of mayhem, puns, and one-liners; not forgetting a healthy dose of innuendo and double entendre.
Sorry I Haven't a Clue has Radio Four's highest listening figures for light entertainment and won the 1998 Voice of the Listener and Viewer for top radio show.
Another helping of inspired ad-libbery from the multi award-winning BBC Radio 4 series.
This 13th collection of the antidote to panel games finds Jack Dee giving regular panellists Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden silly things to do - along with special guests Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Rob Brydon and David Mitchell. Highlights include ‘Uxbridge English Dictionary’, ‘One Song to the Tune of Another’, ‘Sound Charades’, ‘Historical Voicemail’, ‘Bankers’ Film Club’, ‘Sound Effects Storytime’, ‘Party Guests’, ‘84 Chicken Cross Road’, ‘Trail of the Lonesome Pun’,
"How do they do it? Hysterically funny."
Straight from the authors mouth! Recorded at The Everyman Theatre in Liverpool in 1994, this recording has all the poignancy and wit of the hit film, combined with the intimacy of a solo show.
"A charming play"
Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told....
"Tina Fey broke my new SUV"
From the unique perspective of David Sedaris comes a new collection of essays taking his listeners on a bizarre and stimulating world tour. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences.
"Devout Fan Disappointed"
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
"Not so much."
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
"Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads"
Legions of fans know Opie & Anthony as the kings of "cringe radio," who dominate an expanding media empire. Since October 2004, their unique humor has been the centerpiece of High Voltage, the channel XM Satellite Radio created especially for them. Then, in April 2006, they took over the key morning drive slot on seven CBS Radio stations. Audible's Opie & Anthony subscription delivers both shows in one hilarious package!
"Ramon, bring me a spoiled family photo"
David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.
"You will ROFL"
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
"How the Bloggess almost made me crash my car!"
In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
"Just Plain FUNNYYYY!!!!!!!!!"
In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives, a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.
"Read on...Hilarity Ensues"
George Orwell's classic satire of the Russian Revolution is an intimate part of our contemporary culture, quoted so often that we tend to forget who wrote the original words! This must-read is also a must-listen!
"If you hate spoilers, save the intro for last."
Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the number one nation at being the best at greatness. But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around - we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders.
"Too Much Hyperbolic Hyperbole"
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
"Tiger Woods is not Black"
Actress and humorist Annabelle Gurwitch returns with I See You Made an Effort, a book of essays so wickedly funny it may make you forget your last birthday. Not one to shy away from the grisly realities of middle age, the “slyly subversive” (O: The Oprah Magazine) Gurwitch confronts the various indignities faced by femmes d’un certain âge with candor, wit, and a healthy dose of hilarious self-deprecation.
Kevin Cowherd was a humor columnist and feature writer for the Baltimore Sun. His columns, which have varied from three times a week to once a week to occasional, began in 1987, and were a featured attraction for the LA Times-Washington Post news service. Last Call at the 7-Eleven, an audiobook of Cowherd’s conversational essays/columns, offers a fresh, inventive comic voice discoursing on the travails of everyday life.
Verbal abusers are highly intelligent people who tend to tell their victims what they want to hear in a caring way that allows the abuser to hide the true meaning of the message.
Silly senatorial satire and plenty of pundit parody. Written a few days into the government shut down of 2013. Pokes fun at all 100 Senators at the time. Although the house probably should have been lambasted as well, this shines light on the absurdity that is our government and how it does NOT work sometimes...I still really do love America really I do!
Wickedly narrated by David Stifel, and written in 1729, this satiric essay on how to solve Ireland's chronic poverty is perhaps more shocking today than when it was written. In the 1960s, when Peter O'Toole did a public reading of this piece in Dublin, he very nearly started a riot. Newspapers the following day lambasted O'Toole's "shocking bad taste." Whether shocking satire, or Monty-Pythonesque surrealism, this essay has continually managed to offend people for well over 3 centuries. Enjoy! (and Thank You!)
Is nerdiness your thing? Have you been called a nerd before? Most likely, it was in an affectionate manner. Studies have shown that both sexes are attracted to nerds, even though neither sex can explain why. These pick-up lines range from Math & Science to Computers and Harry Potter! Use all of your favorite things to break barriers with the opposite sex! Guaranteed to work!!
Beth Lisick started out as a homecoming princess with a Crisco-aided tan and a bad perm. And then everything changed. Plunging headlong into America's deepest subcultures, while keeping both feet firmly planted in her parents' Leave It to Beaver values, Lisick makes her adult home on the fringe of mainstream culture and finds it rich with paradox and humor. Fans of David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell will relish Lisick's scathingly funny, smart, very real take on the effluvia of daily living.
Peering into life's cringe-worthy moments, best-selling author Beth Lisick excavates territory that most would rather ignore. Funny, odd, deeply personal, yet somehow universal, these are the kind of memories that haunt us all, the small awful moments of shame and humiliation that we'd rather forget than relive. Beth Lisick has made a career of opening her life to her readers in all of its messy, smart hilarity, but this type of story doesn't usually find its way into a memoir.