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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
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Publisher's summary
Contains Books 1 and 2 of the Unconventional Heroes series.
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf, book 1:
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf - it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.
It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious 10-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful.
Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord, book 2:
Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord - it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.
To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help - sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world's worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.
Somehow, Timmy's got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it's trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of.
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The Forever
- The Forever, Books 1-2
- By: Craig Robertson
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 17 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Jon Ryan is irreverent, cocky, funny, and walks with a swagger. The cocky fighter pilot turned astronaut is also Earth's only chance for survival. The planet Jupiter, thrown off orbit, will destroy Earth in less than a century. Jon volunteers for the most ambitious, desperate mission ever conceived: His consciousness must be transferred into an experimental android host, where he'll live an immortal - and lonely - life. Jon's only companion on his 50-year voyage is his ship's irritable AI.
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Pass if you want smart sci-fi
- By Ian McCurdy on 09-04-18
By: Craig Robertson
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A Game of Villains
- World of Karik, Book 1
- By: Anton Emelianov, Sergei Savinov
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 15 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Our hero entered the store that fateful evening and became involved in a life-or-death game arranged by a mysterious creature. He survived, but instead of being on Earth, he now appeared to be in a different world, with other people who had passed a similarly deadly test. Some made it through by using force, some by using their cunning.... Everyone has their own story, but they all have one thing in common - there are no good people among them.
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I have no idea what this is...
- By Erik on 02-28-20
By: Anton Emelianov, and others
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Runelight
- The Aenigma Lights, Book 1
- By: JA Andrews
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 23 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Kate is a Keeper—a storyteller, magic-wielder, and researcher—but a single mystery has evaded her all her life: What happened on the tragic day when two strangers stole not only the puzzle box that hummed with magic but so much more? She and her brother Bo have searched for twenty years with no luck. Until Venn, a surly elf, shows up on the hidden doorstep of the Keepers' Stronghold with that same aenigma box—and a message that Bo has disappeared. Kate needs a guide back to Venn's homeland to search for him, and Venn needs to find him for reasons of her own.
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The narration by Kate Reading is great as always
- By Robert S. on 01-22-24
By: JA Andrews
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Lair for Rent: Publisher's Pack
- Lair for Rent, Book 1-2
- By: Skyler Grant
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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This bundle contains audiobooks one and two of the Lair for Rent series: Lair for Rent and Hench for Hire.
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enjoyable
- By Anonymous User on 04-28-20
By: Skyler Grant
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White Trash Warlock
- The Adam Binder Novels, Book 1
- By: David R. Slayton
- Narrated by: Michael David Axtell
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Adam Binder has the Sight. It’s a power that runs in his bloodline: the ability to see beyond this world and into another, a realm of magic populated by elves, gnomes, and spirits of every kind. Years after his brother Bobby had him committed to a psych ward, Adam is ready to come to grips with who he is, to live his life on his terms, to find love, and maybe even use his magic to do some good. Hoping to track down his missing father, Adam follows a trail of cursed artifacts to Denver, only to discover that an ancient and horrifying spirit has taken possession of Bobby’s wife.
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Great narrator!
- By aaron on 11-25-20
By: David R. Slayton
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Path of the Necromancer, Book 1
- A LootRPG Series
- By: Deck Davis
- Narrated by: Matthew Broadhead
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jakub graduates from the Queen’s magic academy as a necromancer, he’s granted a license to raise things from the dead. His first assignment is to recover the corpse of a traitor, resurrect him, and find out what secrets he told the enemy. When he learns that the traitor’s body is missing, he's in trouble, and things only get worse when he realizes that he isn’t the only person looking for it. Mages, necromancers, cannibals, and warriors all stand in his way as he fights to find the truth.
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no just no
- By Bryan S Guzman on 05-22-19
By: Deck Davis
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A Reluctant Druid
- By: Jon R. Osborne
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Centuries ago, the followers of the new gods defeated the old gods and the folk of legend, banishing them from the world of man. With their departure, magic faded from the land. The Milesian Accords had provisions for a new challenge, though, and the Exiled Gods have sent their minions back to our world to seek out a champion to fight for them and a druid able to wield the magic needed to fulfill the challenge. A descendant of the druid who participated in the original challenge, Liam Knox doesn’t know anything about the Accords or his ancestors....
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I was sorta on board till the third erotic scene.
- By Jaden on 08-23-22
By: Jon R. Osborne
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The Lord of Stariel
- Stariel, Book 1
- By: AJ Lancaster
- Narrated by: Finty Williams
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone knows who the magical estate will choose for its next ruler. Or do they? Will it be the lord’s eldest son, who he despised? His favourite nephew, with the strongest magical land-sense? His scandalous daughter, who ran away from home years ago to study illusion? Hetta knows it won’t be her, and she’s glad of it. Returning home for her father’s funeral, all Hetta has to do is survive the family drama and avoid entanglements with irritatingly attractive local men until the Choosing.
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Unexpected and delightful
- By emily on 03-25-21
By: AJ Lancaster
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The Hexologists
- By: Josiah Bancroft
- Narrated by: Sarah Slimani
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The Hexologists, Iz and Warren Wilby, are quite accustomed to helping desperate clients with the bugbears of city life. Aided by hexes and a bag of charmed relics, the Wilbies have recovered children abducted by chimney-wraiths, removed infestations of barb-nosed incubi, and ventured into the Gray Plains of the Unmade to soothe a troubled ghost. Well-acquainted with the weird, they never shy away from a challenging case.
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The mispronounciations
- By S. Nordstrom on 01-08-24
By: Josiah Bancroft
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Modern Paladin: Publisher's Pack
- Modern Paladin, Books 1-2
- By: Arthur A. Bramlett
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Contains books one and two of the Modern Paladin, a LitRPG adventure series: Modern Paladin and Allies....
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painful really painful
- By Rew on 08-18-22
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Fateless: Book One
- By: Martin McKenzie
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 18 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Graeme only wanted a pint.\ He'd even have taken one of those fruity craft beers in a pinch, but it seemed Fate had other plans...which is strange, because as it turns out, Graeme is possibly the only being in the universe unaffected by the otherwise divine and tangible force of destiny. Immune to its machinations, he is Fateless.
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Good start
- By Danny Moody on 03-28-23
By: Martin McKenzie
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Last Command
- Fallen Empire, Book 0
- By: Lindsay Buroker
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In the final days of the empire, Cyborg Corps Colonel Leonidas Adler plans to die in a manner befitting of an imperial officer. He will fight until his last breath, giving his life to defend Emperor Markus, as it was meant to be. But when the emperor himself summons him for a final special mission, how can he refuse?
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Pretty good teaser for lighter space opera
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-15-21
By: Lindsay Buroker
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Skythief
- The Realmwalkers, Book 1 (A LitRPG Progression Fantasy Adventure)
- By: Matthew Wolf
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 16 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Seekers control the elemental forces of the world and must climb the World Tree for ultimate power. Dren, a ragtag thief from a dystopian world, is dropped into a land teeming with gods, monsters, magical creatures, and more.
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Decided to take a try…
- By Elliott on 08-22-23
By: Matthew Wolf
What listeners say about Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- The Krueger
- 09-26-20
great. but get used to the word "zombie"
that was my review. its making me write more words. so here are more words.
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- Cap_Tea🐝
- 09-21-21
I’m exiled elf, a necromancer, and a bureaucrat walk into a bar…
A creative story around a ragtag ensemble cast of occult fantasy characters. The story is creative and fun, slightly childish, but creative. And enjoyable story that is well narrated and performed. I am intrigued, and will continue to read the series further. I do recommend
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1 person found this helpful
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- A RobertsKindle Customer
- 04-12-21
Tell Your Friends
I discovered the first book while trolling through Kindle's deals one day and was intrigued by the title. Turns out the author has an original and inventive mind aided with an irreverent humor. in a word, delightful. I now impatiently wait for each new book. The narrator's voice initially irritated me but soon that irritation faded and he brings the books to life. The number of times I've laughed out while driving are too many to count. The idea of a sane necromancer with no desire to rule over the world, just make weird zombies and live in peace, makes for hilarious situations.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-13-20
Enjoyed Listening
The narrator for this book really nailed the characters and brought them to life. I wasn't sure about buying the book on audible as I already have it in print, but he really sold it for me.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-18-21
Worth the read
Fun story and engaging. The characters develop as it goes by having short stories or flashbacks.
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- Roy Norby
- 02-08-21
I absolutely loved the narrator.
loved how the story was narrated. He brought the story to life. I can't go wait to get to the next book.
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- CW
- 01-06-21
A playful delight.
Do you want to hear about a zany necromancer working for pardon? What about his child prodigy apprentice and her ninja rats?
look no further.
The text is a creative and humerous delight.
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- Beckett Family
- 11-28-20
Funny!
I received this audiobook for free in exchange for an unbiased review. It was humorous, entertaining and well read. The additional short stories were entertaining. What do you get when you have a not-so-evil necromancer, his 7 year old cute female apprentice who have appealed for a pardon? Of course they have to work for it, so are assigned a bureaucrat monitor. I really enjoyed this audiobook.
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- MT
- 03-21-22
Fun!
Wacky and irreverent. Good light hearted story about necromancer and his assistant. Also great performance by voice actor.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-10-22
Pure fun
I didn’t know what to expect, but the subtitle provides the warning - this is an unconventional heroic fantasy. And, it is pure fun. A powerful necromancer whose favorite weapon (tiny spoiler) is a shovel. And, whose name is Timmy. It goes on from there. All the characters are fun and distinctive. The audio performance was perfect with all the high energy and humor the tale requires. If you’d enjoy a little escape, this could do the trick.
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