The Man They Wanted Me to Be

Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

By: Jared Yates Sexton

Narrated by: Jared Yates Sexton

Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins

Publisher's summary

Based on his provocative and popular New York Times op-ed, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is both memoir and cultural analysis. Jared Yates Sexton alternates between an examination of his working class upbringing and historical, psychological, and sociological sources that examine the genesis of toxic masculinity and its consequences for society.

As progressivism changes American society, and globalism shifts labor away from traditional manufacturing, the roles that have been prescribed to men since the Industrial Revolution have been rendered as obsolete. Donald Trump's campaign successfully leveraged male resentment and entitlement, and now, with Trump as president and the rise of the #MeToo movement, it's clear that our current definitions of masculinity are outdated and even dangerous.

Deeply personal and thoroughly researched, The Man They Wanted Me to Be examines how we teach boys what's expected of men in America, and the long-term effects of that socialization-which include depression, shorter lives, misogyny, and suicide. Sexton turns his keen eye to the establishment of the racist patriarchal structure which has favored white men, and investigates the personal and societal dangers of such outdated definitions of manhood.

©2019 Jared Yates Sexton (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

Shocking Mirror

My inner thoughts, brought out and vocalized. We're not alone. Thank you Jared Yates Sexton.

Interesting, insightful

Jared’s story of the abuses he and his mother suffered at the hands of men subscribed to the myth of masculinity is often difficult to listen to. It is a story well told, though, and Sexton does a great job of making it easy to understand how the patriarchy exploits many and is exploited by others. I saw people I know in this story, and my guess is that you will, too. Sheds light on the rise of the malignant force in the White House. Highly recommended.

Exceptional Insight

I learned a great deal about the underlying internal emotional conflict and social pressures for men. The book provides understanding and compassion without denying responsibility for harm caused. It also provides some ideas for social progress to move forward in a thoughtful, deeply humanistic way.

Great storytelling

I know many men in my life that had similar experiences. It takes a truly strong human being to admit that things should change. Thank you Jared for sharing your journey.

outstanding

i finally understand why half of the USA follows what to me is an anti-social path! Well done.

Thought-provoking

A powerful mix of personal narrative and societal observation. It gave me new perspectives. Only critique: drags a little at certain points.

One of the most important books of our times

I am a woman, a feminist, and one that, after been hurt by so many “manly men”, had little interest in learning about masculinity. I wasn’t interested in learning what makes these men tick. I follow Jared on twitter and I respect him. And I’m not sure exactly why I decided to give this a chance but I did.

I cried listening to this book in parts, but in a very good way. I can say after listening to this book I find I have the power of understanding that helps me deal with toxic masculinity I come across.

More over, as someone who is repulsed by toxic masculinity all the men in my life are feminist. This book helped me understand the times when my husband didn’t quite make sense to me. I made him read it, it was so affirming to him and we now have a basis for dialog. I have perspective and a Base knowledge to be able to really hear him and my husband now has the words to express his struggles.

Thank you Jared, for sharing something so personal in a way that speaks compassionately and intelligently on this thing that has haunted the lives of so many, men and women alike.

Essential

I purchased this book on a lark, it was on sale and I’d previously not heard of it. I was completely blown away by how compelling, insightful, and utterly important it is. It’s sociology and it’s personal history, it’s the personal and the political. This book deconstructs the complexities of toxic culture with an elegant and earnest simplicity. I’ve been evangelizing about this book to friends as an absolute must read, having just completed it I can say, down to the last word, read this book now. Read it twice, pass it on.

I feel the same way

Loved the book. Men with fragile egos will find it difficult. The star I took was because the best part (recommendations) was too short. I liked how the author uses his biography as a platform to touch on many problems.

#TruthMedicine

One of the most universally accessible books I have encountered this speaks to all men around the world.