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The Five Trials
- Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
- Length: 16 hrs and 34 mins
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Publisher's summary
My name's Noah Kilmartin. I'm from Ruddock, Ohio, and I'm absolutely, 100 percent unqualified to save the universe from the slavering demonic hordes of the super evil bitch queen Lilith. Too bad nobody asked my opinion.
All I've got to do is pass five lethal trials that'll prove I'm the universe's last chance at salvation. To do so, I'll have to lean hard on those three years of Okinawan jiu-jutsu classes I took in high school, learn to wield my new magic sword, and, oh yeah - select five women to flesh out my team, bonding with each one for arcane purposes and desperately trying to stay alive in the process.
Piece of cake. Right?
Warning and minor spoilers: The Five Trials is a book intended for mature listeners age 18 years and older. It contains graphic sex, medieval violence, and nudity. People curse, piss their pants, hack off heads, get a little dizzy and tortured, seduce each other, try to seduce each other, and get scared witless by horrors from the darkest dimensions. Most importantly, you'll meet gorgeous, powerful women, some capable for hurling lightning, others of swinging battle-axes, and one that's Noah's unrequited crush from high school. All of them are willing to enter unconventional, polyamorous harem relationships if it means saving the universe, and luckily for Noah, this time it actually does.
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Piper Griffiths wants one thing in life: To become a Consul, a keeper of the peace between humans and daemons. There are precisely three obstacles in her way. The first is Lyre. Incubus. Hotter than hell and with a wicked streak to match. His greatest mission in life is to get Piper into bed and otherwise annoy the crap out of her.
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The narrator needs help!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-27-15
By: Annette Marie
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The Empire of the Dead
- By: Phil Tucker
- Narrated by: Paul Guyet
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Acharsis has always loved long shots. But even with a perfect scheme and a handpicked squad of godsblooded grifters and fighters, breaking into the undead lord's Akkodaisis' ziggurat is suicidally impossible. Good thing Archarsis is a fallen demigod with more than one trick up his sleeve....
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Incredibly imaginative
- By RyRy on 09-08-17
By: Phil Tucker
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Forbidden
- Arotas Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Amy Miles
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Roseline Enescue didn't ask to become an immortal, to have all of the guests at her wedding slaughtered, or to be forced into marriage with a man whose lust for blood would one day ignite the vampire legend. Willing to risk everything for a chance at a normal life, Roseline escapes to America. But her transition into the human world isn't easy. Mortal men flock after her while cutthroat girls plot her demise. Yet she remains relatively unfazed until she meets Gabriel Marston.
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Not recommended
- By Sarah on 11-08-15
By: Amy Miles
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The Deepest Well
- Dominion, Book 1
- By: Juliette Cross
- Narrated by: Allie Rose
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The same night Lady Katherine Blakely discovers just what a monster her husband is, she meets a charming stranger, a gentleman from top to toe, not a wolf in gallant evening dress as so many of them are. But even he is not all that he seems. Lord George Draconis Thornton has returned from abroad as Earl of Melbourne. As the commander of the Dominus Daemonum, demon hunters set on earth to purge the world of creatures corrupting mankind, his mission is to expel the demon prince, Damas, back to the underworld before he corrupts his last remaining descendant.
By: Juliette Cross
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At the Sign of the Crow and Moon
- A Sorcery Ascendant Prequel Novella
- By: Mitchell Hogan
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the bustling capital city of the Mahruse Empire, Felicienne Shyrise spends her days as a talented investigator, taking on stolen goods and missing person cases and the occasional murder the city guard are too incompetent - or too lazy - to resolve. During the nights she hones her skills playing Dominion, a board game almost as complicated as life itself. She dreams of making a name for herself and becoming the richest woman in the Empire.
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Worth It
- By Gaia on 09-23-19
By: Mitchell Hogan
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Marked
- Eternal Guardians, Book 1
- By: Elisabeth Naughton
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Wiley
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Theron - Dark haired, duty bound and deceptively deadly. He's the leader of the Argonauts, an elite group of guardians that defends the immortal realm from threats of the Underworld. From the moment he walked into the club, Casey knew this guy was different. Men like that just didn't exist in real life - silky shoulder-length hair, chest impossibly broad, and a predatory manner that just screamed dark and dangerous. He was looking for something. Her. She was the one. She had the mark. Casey had to die so his kind could live, and it was Theron's duty to bring her in. But even as a 200-year-old descendent of Hercules, he wasn't strong enough to resist....
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I tried
- By Leesa on 10-06-13
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Kissed by a Dark Prince
- Eternal Mates Paranormal Romance Series, Book 1
- By: Felicity Heaton
- Narrated by: Charlotte Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall
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Story
Olivia thinks it's her lucky night when a dangerously handsome, unconscious fae ends up on her inspection table. He's her chance to redeem herself with her employer, the demon-hunting organization Archangel. But when the tall, dark, and deadly immortal warrior awakes, she gets much more than she bargained for.... Attacked by his enemy in the elf kingdom, the last thing Prince Loren expects when he comes around is a beautiful angel watching over him and medical technology of the mortal realm.
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OMG! What horrible narration..
- By Trish R. on 05-03-16
By: Felicity Heaton
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Heroes Die
- The First of the Acts of Caine
- By: Matthew Stover
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 22 hrs and 28 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Renowned throughout the land of Ankhana as the Blade of Tyshalle, Caine has killed his share of monarchs and commoners, villains and heroes. He is relentless, unstoppable, simply the best there is at what he does. At home on Earth, Caine is Hari Michaelson, a superstar whose adventures in Ankhana command an audience of billions.
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Don't Let the Cover Turn You Off
- By Paul on 08-13-12
By: Matthew Stover
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Starling
- The Starling Saga, Book 1
- By: Lesley Livingston
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Overall
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Story
Mason Starling is a champion fencer on the Gosforth Academy team, but she's never had to fight for her life. Not until the night a ferocious, otherworldly storm rips through Manhattan, trapping Mason and her teammates inside the school. Mason is besieged by nightmarish creatures more terrifying than the thunder and lightning as the raging tempest also brings a dangerous stranger into her life: a young man who remembers nothing but his name - the Fennrys Wolf. His arrival tears Mason's world apart, even as she feels an undeniable connection to him.
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Disappointed
- By Bill on 09-18-12
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Eon
- Dragoneye Reborn
- By: Alison Goodman
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 14 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twelve-year-old Eon has been training for years. His intensive study of Dragon Magic, based on Oriental astrology, involves two kinds of skills: sword-work and magical aptitude. He and his master hope that he will be chosen as a Dragoneye - an apprentice to one of the 12 energy dragons of good fortune.
But Eon has a dangerous secret. He is actually Eona, a 16-year-old girl who has been masquerading as a 12-year-old boy for the chance to become a Dragoneye.
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I was hooked
- By The Mankers on 04-22-12
By: Alison Goodman
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Forbidden Forest
- By: Tenaya Jayne
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Born in shame. Cast from society. Shape-shifter/elf hybrid Forest must fight for any respect she can get. Targeted in her youth by a vampire noble who placed an illegal slave mark on her, she is forced to obey him no matter what. Slipping the grip of her master and abandoning the prejudice of Regia, her native world, Forest takes a job on Earth, guarding the portal, using her skills as a warrior to enforce Regia's laws. Now, called home for a black ops mission, Forest must put aside her own prejudice to transport the vampire prince, Syrus, through enemy territory in a time of war.
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Eye roll-inducing YA fluff
- By M. Williams on 09-05-17
By: Tenaya Jayne
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Hollen the Soulless
- Dokiri Brides, Book 1
- By: Denali Day
- Narrated by: Shane East
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Overall
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Always the dutiful daughter, Lady Joselyn is weeks away from marrying a rival lord in order to save her house. However, she suddenly finds herself in the clutches of an ancient beast she’s only ever heard of in legends. More terrifying than that is the beast’s master, a wild man who insists Joselyn is his bride by right, and plans to seal his claim in blood. Dragon-rider Hollen has finally captured the woman of his dreams, though he quickly learns waiting for her was less than half the battle.
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Love It!
- By Lily U. on 05-20-21
By: Denali Day
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Ok, but nothing special. +points for rec. blooper
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Actually has a story
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The Demon Lord is dead. The System is broken. Somehow, Elias Hearthsong is neither of these things, despite being at the final battle of the Demon Wars. He is a Master Enchanter, perhaps the last one alive. Determined to keep a promise, he crosses the continent to protect his dead friend's legacy: a crumbling orphanage run by a beautiful kitsune. He isn't a teacher, nor does he have experience with children. But with the love of a few good women, anything can become possible.
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What listeners say about The Five Trials
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- Travis
- 03-29-21
Loved it by the end of chapter two.
The character's and the interactions between them feel real not forced like in some stories. The disclaimer is honest but even those interactions don't seem forced just for the sake of it.
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- Domenic P.
- 09-12-19
Good story and enjoyable turns
I know people have complained about a weak MC, but what development of a MC do people want after just a couple of weeks being thrown into the fire. The MC does develop in the second book and the series leaves me wanting more.
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- Anthony
- 05-16-20
Noah Kilmartin is an idiot!!!
Ok so he’s not really an idiot. What he is, though, is a super nerdy shy guy that gets thrust into a D&D-like world with his female best friend, who also happens to be his unrequited love interest, in which he has suddenly become the savior of the universe. Is he terrified of just about everything he comes across? Yes. Does he piss his pants, twice, in fright from what he has to face? Sadly, yes. Does he run from the responsibilities he has agreed to take upon himself in order to save the universe? No. Wait, what?? No, he doesn’t. What he does is power through the fear and terror and get. It. Done!
The book is well written and decently paced. The characters are relatable. The story is a rollercoaster ride from start to finish!
Now for the bad news, and that is the narrator. He sounds almost exactly like Casey Kasim, which made me feel like he was about to start announcing the top 40 countdown. That’s not necessarily the bad part, though. The bad part is the way he narrated made me feel like I should be listening to a children’s book instead of an X-rated adult fantasy novel, and his voice transitions weren’t very good. These, all in all, seemed more like semantics in the light of the biggest issue I have with him, which is he seems to slur his speech periodically throughout the book making it sound like he was drunk during certain parts of the story. Maybe I’m hearing things, because I am slightly hearing impaired, but that’s what I hear.
All in all, I enjoyed the book immensely and am currently halfway through the second book. If you weren’t too thrilled with this book because of your idea of the way you thought the mc should act, I highly recommend you continue the series. It gets WAY better in the second book.
Keep up the good work, Mike! Noah is a character I can highly identify with!!
*Disclaimer: 4 stars solely because of the narrator and nothing to do with the story. Otherwise it would be 5!*
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- Joe Boose
- 12-04-18
great story. but he main character..
the story is great. some times all over the place, in wording of worlds. but you can understand and get behind. he main character is ...well if he's made to be disliked, they got it spot on. Repeat, after crying repeat. but not horrible
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-10-22
meh.
The mc is cringy and the supportting characters are shallow. Ill keep going, but so far it is overall lackluster.
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- Pete K
- 05-11-20
A Great Story
Noah wasn't really prepared to be sucked to another world and it shows. This isn't a case where our MC starts out as some super badass ninja. He's a regular guy thrown into extraordinary circumstances. This was a great start to the series and it just keeps getting better as you go through them.
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- Derek Schlegel
- 01-15-20
Fantastical Fiction, Not your ordinary haremlit.
Where do I begin? It's not the genre that makes this audiobook what it is, nor is it the premise necessarily. Mike Truk paints a world and cast of characters that feel as though you know them. Settings are drawn as words on canvas, and Mike's use of vivid imagery transports you to where you never thought you would go. Some writing in this genre is only propelled forth by use of adult themes and Power Fantasy, but I did not feel that. Our MC is no hero, and only fills the role because he has to. Because he needs to. And while some might cry foul of certain fantastical elements seemingly happening for no reason, let me remind you Frodo was saved last minute by some damn birds on a fiery mountain, and that was turned into three movies.
In the end, I find the 5 Trials to be the LotR of haremlit, except Frodo gets a fellowship of beautiful, complex, and badass babes. Highly recommend.
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- Pedro
- 06-27-19
Good concept so so execution
the author has a great premise here, however, the problem is it's poor execution. The issue with this book is not its storyline but the narrator itself. Hes a mediocre narrator and it is very difficult for someone to understand what's going on. What I mean by that is you can't get emotionally involved in the book because the entire time you're listening your trying to parse allow what the narrator's feelings or is trying to do with the character even to the point of being like I don't understand who I am listening to because they're Boyce's sound the same think it's quite annoying. For me it was a struggle due to the narrator I want to like this book but I can't because of the narrator and it's quite unfortunate because I feel like if it was someone else like a Jeff Hayes this wouldn't be an issue.
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- Michael
- 12-28-18
First chapter kind of sucks.
Slow build to adventures. Fast paced and overly articulated during "action" situations.
Rather crude with the "romantic" scenarios. Author uses words that could offeend; cock, pussy, tit, cum, and cunt.
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- Lp9214
- 12-22-21
truly amazing
this is one of the best series ive listened to. ive never had so much trouble predicting where the story would go and was blown away with mikes imagination. the narrator could use a little work on female voices in a book dominated by female characters but overall he did an amazing job as well.
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