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- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
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Publisher's summary
A 2020 Audie winner - best female narrator
A Read with Jenna Today Show Book Club Pick!
Audiobook performed by Marin Ireland.
"I can’t believe how good this book is.... It’s wholly original. It’s also perfect.... Wilson writes with such a light touch.... The brilliance of the novel [is] that it distracts you with these weirdo characters and mesmerizing and funny sentences and then hits you in a way you didn’t see coming. You’re laughing so hard you don’t even realize that you’ve suddenly caught fire." (Taffy Brodesser-Akner, New York Times Book Review)
Kevin Wilson’s best book yet - a moving and uproarious novel about a woman who finds meaning in her life when she begins caring for two children with remarkable and disturbing abilities.
Lillian and Madison were unlikely roommates and yet inseparable friends at their elite boarding school. But then, Lillian had to leave the school unexpectedly in the wake of a scandal, and they’ve barely spoken since. Until now, when Lillian gets a letter from Madison pleading for her help.
Madison’s twin stepkids are moving in with her family, and she wants Lillian to be their caretaker. However, there’s a catch: The twins spontaneously combust when they get agitated, flames igniting from their skin in a startling but beautiful way. Lillian is convinced Madison is pulling her leg, but it’s the truth.
Thinking of her dead-end life at home, the life that has consistently disappointed her, Lillian figures she has nothing to lose. Over the course of one humid, demanding summer, Lillian and the twins learn to trust each other - and stay cool - while also staying out of the way of Madison’s buttoned-up politician husband. Surprised by her own ingenuity yet unused to the intense feelings of protectiveness she feels for them, Lillian ultimately begins to accept that she needs these strange children as much as they need her - urgently and fiercely. Couldn’t this be the start of the amazing life she’d always hoped for?
With white-hot wit and a big, tender heart, Kevin Wilson has written his best book yet - a most unusual story of parental love.
Critic reviews
"Narrator Marin Ireland flawlessly introduces listeners to Lillian and Madison, two unlikely friends separated after a boarding school scandal.... Drawing from a seemingly endless supply of character voices, Ireland immerses listeners in this magical yet weird family, exquisitely capturing every unusual layer of the story.... Ireland and Wilson leave a lasting impression and provide a thoroughly entertaining experience." (AudioFile Magazine)
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Everything Hope knows about the Orchard House is from the stories of her late mother. So when she arrives at the northern Michigan family estate late one night with a terrible secret and her 10-year-old daughter in tow, she’s not sure if she’ll be welcomed or turned away with a shotgun by the aunt she has never met.
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Really Enjoyed It
- By Kathryn @theBookDate on 03-30-21
By: Molly Fader
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Picture Us in the Light
- By: Kelly Loy Gilbert
- Narrated by: James Chen
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Danny discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined. Danny has been an artist for as long as he can remember, and it seems his path is set, with a scholarship to RISD and his family's blessing to pursue the career he's always dreamed of. Still, contemplating a future without his best friend, Harry Wong, by his side makes Danny feel a panic he can barely put into words.
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A poignant, touching novel for the Asian American millennial
- By Jenny on 06-30-23
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The Good Father
- By: Diane Chamberlain
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne, Arielle DeLisle, Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Four years ago, 19-year-old Travis Brown made a choice: to raise his newborn daughter on his own. While most of his friends were out partying and meeting girls, Travis was at home, changing diapers and worrying about keeping food on the table. But he's never regretted his decision. Bella is the light of his life. The reason behind every move he makes. And so far, she is fed. Cared for. Safe. But when Travis loses his construction job and his home, the security he's worked so hard to create for Bella begins to crumble....
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A must-read tear jerker!
- By Wayne on 12-01-15
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The McAvoy Sisters Book of Secrets
- A Novel
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s been 17 years since the tragic summer the McAvoy sisters fell apart. Lindy, the wild one, left home, carved out a new life in the city, and never looked back. Delia, the sister who stayed, became a mother herself, raising her daughters and running the family shop in their small Ohio hometown on the shores of Lake Erie. But now, with their mother’s ailing health and a rebellious teenager to rein in, Delia has no choice but to welcome Lindy home.
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Great story
- By Nessa on 09-25-23
By: Molly Fader
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Two Truths and a Lie
- A Novel
- By: Meg Mitchell Moore
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Truth: Sherri Griffin and her daughter, Katie, recently moved to the idyllic beach town of Newburyport, Massachusetts. They’ve been welcomed by Rebecca Coleman, unofficial former leader of the Newburyport Mom Squad, and her teenage daughter Alexa, Katie’s new babysitter. Truth: Alexa has time on her hands after a falling-out with her friends involving her popular YouTube channel.
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Really more of a YA novel...
- By Faith W. on 09-04-20
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Safe
- A Novel
- By: S. K. Barnett
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jenny Kristal was six years old when she was snatched off the sidewalk from her quiet suburban neighborhood. Twelve years later, she's miraculously returned home after escaping her kidnappers - but as her parents and older brother welcome her back, the questions begin to mount. Where has she been all these years? Why is she back now? And is home really the safest place for her...or for any of them?
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It's SAFE To Say that SAFE Is A Wasted Credit!
- By MA Reviewer on 06-27-20
By: S. K. Barnett
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Lost and Found
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
That's the question that has haunted 14-year-old Ezekiel Blast all his life. But he's not a thief, he just has a talent for finding things. Not a superpower - a micropower. Because what good is finding lost bicycles and hair scrunchies, especially when you return them to their owners and everyone thinks you must have stolen them in the first place? If only there were some way to use Ezekiel's micropower for good, to turn a curse into a blessing. His friend Beth thinks there must be, and so does a police detective investigating the disappearance of a little girl.
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Good book from a great Author
- By Jim on 03-30-21
By: Orson Scott Card
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Chasing Perfect
- Fool's Gold, Book 1
- By: Susan Mallery
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There is only one thing wrong with the charming community of Fool’s Gold, California: the men don’t stick around! This problem has to be fixed, fast, and Charity Jones may be just the city planner up to the challenge. Charity immediately falls in love with all the storybook town has to offer – except its sexy, famous, world-class cyclist Josh Golden. With her long list of romantic disasters, she’s not about to take a chance on another bad boy…but it may just be what they both need!
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Awful narration
- By Kimberly on 05-17-10
By: Susan Mallery
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Before the Storm
- By: Diane Chamberlain
- Narrated by: Abby Craden, Kris Koscheski
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laurel Lockwood lost her son once through neglect. She's spent the rest of her life determined to make up for her mistakes, and she has succeeded in becoming a committed, protective parent-maybe even overprotective. Still, she loosens her grip just enough to let Andy attend a local church social-a decision that terrifies her when the church is consumed by fire. But Andy survives...and remarkably, saves other children from the flames.
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Great book...HORRIBLE performance
- By Andrea on 03-10-15
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Embassy Wife
- A Novel
- By: Katie Crouch
- Narrated by: Marni Penning
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Persephone Wilder, a displaced genius posing as the wife of an American diplomat in Namibia, takes her job as a representative of her country seriously and comes up with an intricate set of rules to survive a range of problems: how to dress in hundred-degree weather without showing too much skin, how not to look drunk at embassy functions, and how to eat roasted oryx with grace. She also suspects her husband is not actually the ambassador’s general counsel but instead a secret agent in the CIA. She takes the new trailing spouse, Amanda Evans, under her wing....
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Have narrator re-record this book
- By Amazon Customer on 09-30-21
By: Katie Crouch
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Stay Gold
- By: Tobly McSmith
- Narrated by: Theo Germaine, Phoebe Strole
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Pony plans to fly under the radar this year. Tired of getting too much attention at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s hoping for a fresh start as a Hillcrest High senior. But it’s hard to live your best life with the threat of exposure lurking around every corner. Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She just wants to keep a low profile until graduation...which is why she promised herself that dating is a nonstarter for the foreseeable future.
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Must Read
- By Khoula on 08-17-20
By: Tobly McSmith
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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Can't recommend.
- By Josh Mitchell on 01-19-22
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Maxi Dillion finds himself back home, living with his 80-year-old mother after living in New York City for 25 years. He thinks nobody knows the real purpose of his homecoming. He's wrong. Cillian Mulcahy knows the real reason...he owes money to the mob. While Maxi's out running errands for his mother, he bumps into Ella, a childhood acquaintance who is all grown up and strikingly beautiful. While over to Ella's house on a visit, Maxi discovers what he believes to be a treasure map. He, Ella, and two of her two girlfriends embark on a hilarious adventure to find the hidden treasure.
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Kevin Wilson’s characters inhabit a world that moves seamlessly between the real and the imagined, the mundane and the fantastic. “Grand Stand-In” is narrated by an employee of the Nuclear Family Supplemental Provider—a company that supplies “stand-ins” for families with deceased, ill, or plain mean grandparents. And in “Blowing Up On the Spot,” a young woman works sorting tiles at a Scrabble factory after her parents have spontaneously combusted. These wonderfully inventive stories explore the relationship between loss and death and the ways we try to cope with both.
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Highly recommended!
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When Isabelle Poole meets Dr. Preston Grind, she's just about out of options. She recently graduated from high school and is pregnant with her art teacher's baby. Her mother is dead, and her father is a drunk. The art teacher is too much of a head case to help raise the child. Izzy knows she can be a good mother, but without any money or prospects she's left searching. So when Dr. Grind offers her a space in The Infinite Family Project, she accepts. Housed in a spacious compound in Tennessee, she joins nine other couples, all with children the same age as her newborn son.
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Infinitely awesome
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Not My Father's Son: A Memoir
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With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as the celebrated actor of film, television, and stage. At times suspenseful, at times deeply moving, but always incredibly brave and honest, Not My Father's Son is a powerful story of embracing the best aspects of the past and triumphantly pushing the darkness aside.
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Beautiful, Heart-wrenching, Shocking.
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Maxi Dillion finds himself back home, living with his 80-year-old mother after living in New York City for 25 years. He thinks nobody knows the real purpose of his homecoming. He's wrong. Cillian Mulcahy knows the real reason...he owes money to the mob. While Maxi's out running errands for his mother, he bumps into Ella, a childhood acquaintance who is all grown up and strikingly beautiful. While over to Ella's house on a visit, Maxi discovers what he believes to be a treasure map. He, Ella, and two of her two girlfriends embark on a hilarious adventure to find the hidden treasure.
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Kevin Wilson’s characters inhabit a world that moves seamlessly between the real and the imagined, the mundane and the fantastic. “Grand Stand-In” is narrated by an employee of the Nuclear Family Supplemental Provider—a company that supplies “stand-ins” for families with deceased, ill, or plain mean grandparents. And in “Blowing Up On the Spot,” a young woman works sorting tiles at a Scrabble factory after her parents have spontaneously combusted. These wonderfully inventive stories explore the relationship between loss and death and the ways we try to cope with both.
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A biting satire about a young man's isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, Paul Beatty's The Sellout showcases a comic genius at the top of his game. It challenges the sacred tenets of the United States Constitution, urban life, the civil rights movement, the father-son relationship, and the holy grail of racial equality: the black Chinese restaurant.
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Appreciated it, but didn't like it
- By Eugenia on 04-14-16
By: Paul Beatty
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Little Princes
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In search of adventure, 29-year-old Conor Grennan traded his day job for a year-long trip around the globe, a journey that began with a three-month stint volunteering at the Little Princes Children's Home, an orphanage in war-torn Nepal. Conor was initially reluctant to volunteer, unsure whether he had the proper skill, or enough passion, to get involved in a developing country in the middle of a civil war. But he was soon overcome by the herd of rambunctious, resilient children.
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Amazing experience + Inspiring tale
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Girls & Boys
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When they met at an airport, it was love at first sight. But in time, everything collapsed. As an unnamed but unforgettable woman muses on her life—from meet cute to marriage and parenthood—her recollections inexorably build to a devastating truth. In this shattering performance, Carey Mulligan, star of the critically lauded drama An Education, captivates audiences with playwright Dennis Kelly’s harrowing ruminations on family, ambition, gender, and violence.
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Be aware of the content before listening
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By: Dennis Kelly
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Mrs. Wickham
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Imagine if you made one little mistake when you were young and were punished for it for the rest of your life. Well, that’s what happened to Lydia (yes, that Lydia, the youngest Bennet sister from Pride and Prejudice), and she’s here to set the record straight. Hold on to your teacups and get ready for sophisticated (and a little bit naughty) hot takes and witty banter that’ll make you laugh—and think. We meet Lydia just as she is denounced by her family, exiled miles from home, and married to the rogue George Wickham, who seems to love all women...except his own wife.
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Was I supposed to feel sorry?
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The End of the Affair
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Graham Greene’s evocative analysis of the love of self, the love of another, and the love of God is an English classic that has been translated for the stage, the screen, and even the opera house. Academy Award-winning actor Colin Firth (The King’s Speech, A Single Man) turns in an authentic and stirring performance for this distinguished audio release.
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Colin Firth Kills It
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By: Graham Greene
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Sankofa
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Anna is at a stage of her life when she's beginning to wonder who she really is. She has separated from her husband, her daughter is all grown up, and her mother - the only parent who raised her - is dead. Searching through her mother's belongings one day, Anna finds clues about the African father she never knew. His student diaries chronicle his involvement in radical politics in 1970s London. Anna discovers that he eventually became the president - some would say dictator - of a small nation in West Africa. And he is still alive.
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Really addictive!
- By Buddy on 10-15-21
By: Chibundu Onuzo
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The Final Revival of Opal & Nev
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Opal is a fiercely independent young woman pushing against the grain in her style and attitude, Afro-punk before that term existed. Coming of age in Detroit, she can’t imagine settling for a 9-to-5 job—despite her unusual looks, Opal believes she can be a star. So when the aspiring British singer/songwriter Neville Charles discovers her at a bar’s amateur night, she takes him up on his offer to make rock music together for the fledgling Rivington Records.
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Outstanding and timely
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By: Dawnie Walton
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The Pearl Thief
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From the internationally acclaimed best-selling author of Code Name Verity comes a stunning new story of pearls, love and murder. Sixteen-year-old Julie Beaufort-Stuart is returning to her family's ancestral home in Perthshire for one last summer. It is not an idyllic return to childhood. Her grandfather's death has forced the sale of the house and estate, and this will be a summer of good-byes. Not least to the McEwen family - Highland travellers who have been part of the landscape for as long as anyone can remember.
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Freshwater Pearls and Scottish Plaid
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By: Elizabeth Wein
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Baby, You're Gonna Be Mine
- Stories
- By: Kevin Wilson
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne, Johanna Parker
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Baby, You’re Gonna Be Mine, Kevin Wilson’s first story collection in nearly a decade, Wilson combines his signature quirkiness with his keen eye for emotional complexity to explore the fraught relationship between parents and children. “Scroll Through the Weapons” is about a couple taking care of their underfed and almost feral nieces and nephews. “Baby, You’re Gonna Be Mine”, the title story, is about a narcissistic rock star who moves back home. These stories all build on each other in strange and remarkable ways, showcasing Wilson’s crackling wit and big heart.
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Jarring stories that make you think
- By Aaron L. M. Goodwin on 06-12-19
By: Kevin Wilson
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Feeding the Dragon
- By: Sharon Washington
- Narrated by: Sharon Washington
- Length: 1 hr and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Performance
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Story
For a book-obsessed kid with a big imagination and a flair for drama, could anything be luckier than living in a library? Capturing her remarkable childhood and its impact, Sharon Washington's autobiographical Off-Broadway show brings its sense of wonder and bittersweet realism into your home and heart as an enthralling audio experience. Only from Audible, Feeding the Dragon celebrates the role of books in opening Washington's mind to worlds of possibilities - including a career in acting.
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Excellent story!
- By Imara Walker on 09-07-18
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Lincoln in the Bardo
- A Novel
- By: George Saunders
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, David Sedaris, George Saunders, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has begun to realize it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.”
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"Where might God stand?"
- By Mel on 02-17-17
By: George Saunders
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Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe
- By: Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Overall
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Performance
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Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship - the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be.
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One of the best novels I've listened to in years.
- By Nyx on 10-27-13
What listeners say about Nothing to See Here
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- bcworld13
- 05-12-20
Realistic fiction with a tinge of magic
I loved this book. A beautiful unique story with a very talented voice actor. Highly recommend for lovers of all genres.
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2 people found this helpful
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- SKS
- 04-30-21
Flaming Funny With All The Feels...
Okay, so I am totally hooked on this listen about twins who spontaneously combust, their caretaker, her BFF (sort of,) the BFF’s politician husband, and a dude named Carl... It is both wonderfully weird and sentimental.
This is my first #KevinWilson title and @marinireland ‘s narration has me in awe of her subtle, yet specific character work. 🎧📚👍🏻
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- Diana
- 08-22-20
Great writing - story moved quickly
This is not my usual genre, but I enjoyed the story very much. Great writing, reflective, observant, and understanding of human foibles.
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- Tricia, Audible Editor
- 01-15-20
Such a great story to listen to!
I've finally discovered Kevin Wilson and will diving into his backlist for sure! Having fallen for Marin Ireland's narration in Beartown (Fredrik Backman) I was immediately drawn to trying out more of her performances (fingers crossed that her audiobook resume will continue to grow). I adore her, and she is just too perfect for this quirky, heartfelt story filled with a wonderfully authentic cast of characters. The fact that there are children who spontaneously burst into flames (or occasionally more subtlety smolder if only slightly agitated) somehow only adds to its realness. You will care deeply for these people--you will laugh and you may cry. I did all of these things and I'm left with the overwhelming sense of satisfaction found in experiencing a story that is both entertaining and moving--the joy of time well-spent. 😊
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- Trudi
- 05-22-20
Charming book.
I really enjoyed this book and while the condition the children are afflicted with is fantasy its easy to generalize and say that what happened to these kids could have happened to any children that were not ‘normal’. It also felt true that taking responsibility for their lives helped Lillian find a purpose and love within herself that she previously didn’t know existed. Lovely book all round.
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- Stacie S
- 12-19-19
Loved this book - Narrator is perfect!
I was looking for something outside of my normal genre (I like Thrillers, Suspense, etc), and came across this as one of the titles on Audible's "Best of 2019" list. So happy that found this book! The narrator Marin Ireland really makes the character Lillian come to life, and she voices conversations really well. The concept and story is unique which I enjoyed. The book made me laugh out loud, but also had all the feels! It's a quick read, and definitely one I would recommend. I've listened to so many books this year, and can see why this one stands out and included on the list. It's very memorable.
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- DIANE
- 04-23-20
Plenty to feel here
This book was one of the free choices That come with the subscription to audible each month. I thought it was just going to be a fun book till my next credit rolled around but it was so much more. The voices were perfect it is funny...but it’s true and real also. Good enough that I’m going to look up other books by Kevin Wilson. A rather unique take on parenting.
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- jen4choice
- 06-04-21
Little fires everywhere
My heart is full ... so much more than the book description, so much more than I expected. I laughed more than I cried, but the ending brought me close. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
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- S. Jaff
- 03-17-20
Wonderful escapist read!
In these scary times Kevin Wilson managed to take me away for a while for which I will always grateful. A weird and wonderful story- a reality I’d like to live in. Read it!
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- Diane
- 05-22-20
Loved it
The reader is perfect. She plays all the characters effortlessly and the tone for the narrator actually helped me understand the story better than if I’d read it, I think. This book is a metaphor for parenting and it is funny and well done.
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