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How to Live Like a Supervillain
- Narrated by: David Sabol
- Length: 14 mins
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How to Live Like a Supervillain
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Publisher's summary
Disclaimer: This is a humorous piece of writing intended for a mature audience over 18. All characters are over 18. This is possibly helpful advice from Poison, a knife wielding super strong supervillain in the world of "The Crisis" and "Crisis on Just One Earth" It is advice about how to live like a supervillain even if you don't have any powers and don't want to go to jail. It's all about attitude.
Excerpts:
On high school:
- Don't get arrested. Super villains don't get caught.
- Break the rules. A life without detention isn't worth living.
On dating:
- Anyone can sleep with a sorority girl. They're looking to get laid. Figure out how to get a smart girl in bed. That's a challenge. And she might teach you something.
- Women in airports will usually say yes.
On supervillainy:
- If you and your friend take two strange girls back to a hotel room, one of you has to be awake at all times. Sleep in shifts. You never know who's going to try and kill you.
- If your wife is a telekinetic and telepath who can crush your balls with a wave of her hand, you may want to reconsider lying to her as an option.
- Capes are for people who can lift a skyscraper or pretentious assholes. My best friend The Crisis wears a cape. Nobody's perfect.
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- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 356
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 320
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 317
The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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TextAppeal for Guys!
- The Ultimate Texting Guide
- By: Michael Masters
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 2 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 426
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 358
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 350
I promise you this, if you read this book and apply it's principles, you will have so much more success with women. Imagine, all of the cash you are leaving on the table by not understanding how to get what you want! Imagine, all of those dates, with so many hot girls that you didn't go on simply because you couldn't text right! Seriously, texting incorrectly can crush your chances with women permanently. I can't tell you how many women have vented to me their frustrations at what you are doing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Surprising
- By Fulltime Vagabond on 02-27-13
By: Michael Masters
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 217
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Story4 out of 5 stars 215
Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,061
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 965
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 958
For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 272
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 237
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 238
There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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5 out of 5 stars
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,195
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,067
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,068
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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3 out of 5 stars
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,165
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,053
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,049
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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5 out of 5 stars
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 157
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Story4 out of 5 stars 141
As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 110
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story4 out of 5 stars 97
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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5 out of 5 stars
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
- By: Jessica Valenti
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 60
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time?
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3 out of 5 stars
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A well acted intro to feminist consciousness
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Jessica Valenti
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 63
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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The Diva Rules
- Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
- By: Michelle Visage
- Narrated by: Michelle Visage
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,098
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,015
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,011
Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some!
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2 out of 5 stars
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A Whole Lot of Nothing
- By teal on 04-29-16
By: Michelle Visage
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 116
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 116
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 519
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 464
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 463
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 91
In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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