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F.A.R.T.
- Top Secret! No Kids Allowed! (The F.A.R.T. Diaries)
- Narrated by: Brian Holden
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
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F.A.R.T.
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Publisher's summary
When a young teen discovers a top-secret parenting manual, it’s kids versus grown-ups in this kooky illustrated middle-grade thriller with nonstop, seat-of-your-pants action that will delight fans of Jarrett Lerner and Stuart Gibbs.
When a tween boy (Codename: Furious Popcorn) picks up what he thinks is a cookbook and finds a diabolical parenting manual, his world turns upside down. The Ultimate Guide to Hacking Your Kids was written by an organization called F.A.R.T. (Families Against Rotten Teens), a secret society of grizzled parents whose origins date back to antiquity.
FP is determined to get to the bottom of this, but when he begins investigating F.A.R.T., the manual goes missing, his parents deny knowing anything about any kind of book, and—maybe strangest of all—kids at school start listening to their parents and teachers. What kid would ever do that?
F.A.R.T. proves to be more than just some gassy acronym and parental rules and regulations when FP and the Only Onlys, his best friends since preschool, discover F.A.R.T.’s grand plan: a brain modem that can turn kids into well-behaved zombies!
This wacky crew has no choice but to find out who’s behind the nefarious organization and save young people the world over from total F.A.R.T. domination!
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Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
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Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
- Timmy Failure, Book 1
- By: Stephan Pastis
- Narrated by: Jared Goldsmith
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 135
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Linton A Harrington on 05-14-16
By: Stephan Pastis
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Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 46
Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
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Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 181
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 132
Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
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5 out of 5 stars
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No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
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Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jesse Bernstein
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,369
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,943
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,935
Kyle Keeley is the class clown, popular with most kids, (if not the teachers), and an ardent fan of all games: board games, word games, and particularly video games. His hero, Luigi Lemoncello, the most notorious and creative game maker in the world, just so happens to be the genius behind the building of the new town library. Lucky Kyle wins a coveted spot to be one of the first 12 kids in the library for an overnight of fun, food, and lots and lots of games. But when morning comes, the doors remain locked.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Instant hit with grandkids!
- By Kathi on 07-24-16
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 85
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Story4 out of 5 stars 84
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
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The Candymakers
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Mark Turetsky
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 633
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 520
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 520
ALA Schneider Family Book Award-winning author Wendy Mass offers this tasty treat of a tale sure to appeal to any listener’s sweet tooth. The Candymakers follows 12-year-olds Logan, Philip, Daisy, and Miles as each tries to invent a candy even better than the Oozing Crunchorama. But with these contestants—who can detect chocolate by touch and lift 50 lbs. of taffy as if it weighed no more than a loaf of bread—it’s going to be a close race.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Candy makers makes new Audible convert.
- By Ladydaytrippin on 12-23-15
By: Wendy Mass
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 575
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 360
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Story4 out of 5 stars 355
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie
- By: David Lubar
- Narrated by: Ryan MacConnell, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 193
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 138
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 138
From the author of Dunk comes this sparkling new novel that covers a year in the life of high school freshman Scott Hudson, who is sideswiped by the unexpected news that his mother is about to have another baby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pick Me! Pick Me!
- By Misty on 12-10-07
By: David Lubar
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Tesla's Attic
- The Accelerati Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Neal Shusterman, Eric Elfman
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 235
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 206
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 206
After their home burns down, fourteen-year-old Nick, his younger brother, and their father move into a ramshackle Victorian house they've inherited. When Nick opens the door to his attic room, he's hit in the head by a toaster. That's just the beginning of his weird experiences with the old junk stored up there. After getting rid of the odd antiques in a garage sale, Nick befriends some local kids - Mitch, Caitlin, and Vincent - and they discover that all of the objects have extraordinary properties.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not your typical YA sci-fi story
- By Chrism13 on 02-14-18
By: Neal Shusterman, and others
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Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 144
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 114
Jeremy Fink has big plans for this summer with his best friend Lizzy, a notorious troublemaker (and no, he does not have a secret crush on her). He has everything he needs within a few blocks of his home, so he never has to leave his little neighborhood. And this summer, he officially becomes a teenager.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Feel-Good Story That Opens The Heart & The Mind
- By Hector on 07-12-13
By: Wendy Mass
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Ban This Book
- By: Alan Gratz
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 349
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story5 out of 5 stars 291
It all started the day Amy Anne Ollinger tried to check out her favorite book in the whole world, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, from the school library. That's when Mrs. Jones, the librarian, told her the bad news: her favorite book was banned, all because a classmate's mom thought the book wasn't appropriate for kids to read. Amy Anne decides to fight back by starting a secret banned books library out of her locker.
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5 out of 5 stars
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LOVED IT!!!
- By Colleen on 12-20-18
By: Alan Gratz
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Abby Carnelia's One and Only Magical Power
- By: David Pogue
- Narrated by: David Pogue
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 27
Abby Carnelia is an average sixth grader. She gets along okay with her parents, does pretty well in school, and has an annoying little brother. There’s absolutely nothing remarkable about her at all — that is, until the day when she happens to tug on her earlobes while standing in front of a hard-boiled egg. That’s the day Abby discovers there’s something very, very special about her after all: she has a magical power, and there are some people who will do anything to find out where it came from.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a very great Battle Book. I love it alot.
- By Stefan Mayerschoff on 04-26-15
By: David Pogue
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Sweet Farts
- Book 1
- By: Raymond Bean
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
Someone has been farting up a storm at school and everyone thinks Keith Emerson is to blame. Unfortunately for Keith, it has earned him the nickname "S.B.D." (silent but deadly). To make matters worse, Keith's dad is a self proclaimed "Fart Machine" who really stinks it up at home. With the science fair quickly approaching, Keith decides he has had enough.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny fart humor
- By Minecraft Guy on 11-17-23
By: Raymond Bean
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Clementine
- Clementine, Book 1
- By: Sara Pennypacker
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 563
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 439
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 437
When her best friend and neighbor Margaret comes to her with a problem, Clementine goes to many lengths to help her friend. This sets off a rollicking adventure-filled week that finds Clementine getting into and out of further trouble, while learning valuable life lessons.
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1 out of 5 stars
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One credit for a 1.5 hr book!?
- By Nothing really matters on 02-21-16
By: Sara Pennypacker
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Elliot Allagash
- A Novel
- By: Simon Rich
- Narrated by: Richard Powers
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
Seymour is the least popular student at Glendale, a private school in Manhattan. His new nickname, “Chunk-Style”, is in danger of entering common usage. But then he meets the new transfer student: Elliot Allagash, evil heir of America’s largest fortune. Elliot’s rampant delinquency has already gotten him expelled from dozens of prep schools. But despite his best efforts, he can’t get himself thrown out of Glendale; his father has simply donated too much money. Bitter and bored, Elliot amuses himself by transforming Seymour into the most popular student in the school.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book.
- By Reid Robinson on 01-29-16
By: Simon Rich
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All Four Stars
- All Four Stars, Book 1
- By: Tara Dairman
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 70
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 62
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
Gladys Gatsby has been cooking gourmet dishes since the age of seven, only her fast-food-loving parents have no idea! Now she's 11, and after a crème brûlée accident (just a small fire), Gladys is cut off from the kitchen (and her allowance). She's devastated, but soon finds just the right opportunity to pay her parents back when she's mistakenly contacted to write a restaurant review for one of the largest newspapers in the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very cute story with great narrator!!
- By TT Mommy on 06-23-23
By: Tara Dairman
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Fish in a Tree
- By: Lynda Hunt
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,739
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,244
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Story5 out of 5 stars 2,249
Ally has been smart enough to fool a lot of smart people. Every time she lands in a new school, she is able to hide her inability to read by creating clever yet disruptive distractions. She is afraid to ask for help; after all, how can you cure dumb? However, her newest teacher Mr. Daniels sees the bright, creative kid underneath the trouble maker. With his help, Ally learns not to be so hard on herself and that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great book but...not just dyslexia
- By Jennifer Hurst on 12-31-15
By: Lynda Hunt
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