Preview
  • The Coitus Chronicles

  • My Quest for Sex, Love, and Orgasms
  • By: Olive Persimmon
  • Narrated by: Olive Persimmon
  • Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (28 ratings)

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The Coitus Chronicles

By: Olive Persimmon
Narrated by: Olive Persimmon
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Publisher's summary

Think you know everything about sex? Think again! This funny and true story of one woman’s journey to reclaim her sexuality on the fringes of New York City’s sex and dating world will make you think twice about everything there is to learn about sex!

Meet Olive Persimmon. Growing up, she looked exactly like Danny DeVito, except she was thirteen and a girl. By some miracle, she grew into a relatively normal, well-adjusted thirty-something woman living in New York City—with one notable exception: she hasn’t had sex in five years, one month, three days, two-point-five hours . . . and counting.

Faced with bona fide sex rut, she decides it's time to take action to save her love life and get her mojo back. Challenged by a friend to "say yes" to experiences she might normally avoid, Olive embarks on a series of adventures and explores everything from BDSM classes to cuddlers-for-hire, from foot fetishes to lessons with a top-ranked pickup artist, and more! Each awkward, funny, and sometimes downright embarrassing encounter brings Olive closer to discovering the power of saying yes—to herself, others, and life itself.

For fans of Jenny Slate, this is a funny, irreverent, and honest tale of one young woman's journey to reclaim her sexuality on the fringes of New York City's sex and dating world. Readers can see for themselves how this girl next door overcame insecurities around dating, sex, and love—all with openness, honesty, and a wicked sense of humor. Along the way, readers will wonder: Will Olive ever have sex again? Will her love life be okay? Will her toe fungus come back? Does she ever find her mojo, and where was it hiding? Weaving together the awkwardness of Mindy Kaling, the candor of Chelsea Handler, and Olive’s own hilarious vulnerability, The Coitus Chronicles will encourage readers to explore their own sexuality and consider what surprises they may discover if they, too, just say yes.

©2019 Olive Persimmon (P)2019 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
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What listeners say about The Coitus Chronicles

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Hilarious and so relatable

If you have read the paper version of this book you must listen to the audio book. It takes you on a whole new adventure and it is great that the author is reading it to you. A quick read and so entertaining.

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Amazing hilarious heart-wrenching audiobook! Must listen!

Wow I just finished the audiobook and I’m blown away. Olive took me on a emotional roller coaster! and I just love how she performed it!! She read it with so much authenticity and high energy! Which is rare for audiobooks. Thank you Olive for making an audio version of your book with so much heart! 🙌

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Hilarious, earnest, and touching (pun intended)

This book is laugh out loud funny while also being vulnerable, thoughtful, and just plain educational. I think it’s an essential listen for anyone who is navigating sex and love in the modern world. Olive writes and narrates in a human, relatable way. Her stories are both exceptional and hard to believe (squirting classes!!!??) and totally down to earth. What a delightful listen. Do yourself a favor and download this book. You won’t regret it.

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pleasantly surprised

this felt like a very sincere account of ones exploration into the world of sex. books on this topic can often go for shock value instead of the human experience, i appreciate where this book comes from a lot. thank you!

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Relatable and hilarious!

I couldn't stop... Olive's descriptive choice of language made me feel like I was living this whole story. It had me laughing, "aaah"ing, cringing and laughing some more, the whole way through.
Will definitely recommend this book to EVERYONE!

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Sexuality for Dummies (and their book club)!!

My book club is, well, normal- and that's fine sometimes but our last book brought us to an interesting point. We discussed our collective lack of sex-education and decided reading this book next would probably lend itself to great discussion. Olive, you did not disappoint. Your self-awareness and lack of education was refreshing for literally every woman in my group, and your evolution into an open-minded, sex-positive woman was hilarious, exciting, and interesting all at the same time. I empathized with your awkward teenage years, cringed through your "squirting" class in the East Village, and mourned with you through the hardships along the way. Thank you for taking a refreshing, human-centered look at sexuality! My book club loved chatting about the book and using it as a way to open up about the questions that we were too bashful to ask in 7th grade, and now we are too old to not know. Our collective vulnerabilities brought us together and we laughed and empathized and laughed some more.

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So delicious

Funny, raw, vulnerable - and incredibly relatable! Sex is messy, vulnerable, and fun - and so are Olive’s hilarious stories!

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