Time Travel Humor

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. You mess with it at your peril. You can let it move fast or slowly, but what you mustn't do is allow it to stop. The Monks of History have the glamorous job of time management in the Discworld. They store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater—how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd.

Tom Hazard has a dangerous secret. He may look like an ordinary 41-year-old, but owing to a rare condition, he's been alive for centuries. Tom has lived history - performing with Shakespeare, exploring the high seas with Captain Cook, and sharing cocktails with Fitzgerald. Now, he just wants an ordinary life. So Tom moves back his to London, his old home, to become a high school history teacher - the perfect job for someone who has witnessed the city's history first hand. Better yet, a captivating French teacher at his school seems fascinated by him.

Rey is new to time travel and still learning how it works. She’s come back in time in a last-ditch attempt to prevent a future disaster. She doesn’t know if she can change the timeline but she’s determined to find out. She arrives outside Daily Grind a matter of weeks before the cafe will be destroyed in a fire that leaves one dead. It’s the perfect test. She seizes the opportunity and weaves her way into the fabric of the team. Dom runs Daily Grind, the cafe that turned his life round. But now it’s under threat of demolition and he doesn’t know if he has the energy to save it. ...

A modern Navy fighter pilot travels back in time to WWII in the thrilling, action-packed Super Hornet 1942 A girl from a bleak apocalyptic near future comes back to try and change the future in Super 8 Images. A man looking to change his life becomes trapped in his own past in Lost in Time. Read these exciting stories and more in Time Travel Stories, an epic collection of mind-blowing tales of imagination from James J. Caterino, author of The Promise, Pop Star, and The Girl from the Stars.

One minute Qwerty Stevens is researching a last-minute report on the internet, and the next minute Benjamin Franklin is sitting on his bed! Thanks to the Anytime Anywhere Machine hooked up to his computer, Qwerty has snatched Franklin from July 4, 1776, the very day the Declaration of Independence was signed. Qwerty and his best friend, Joe, realize they have to get Franklin back in time for the signing, and they can't resist seeing it with their own eyes. Can the boys make sure the Declaration gets signed like history says it should? And can they make it back home?

A long time ago in the future, the secret of time travel became known to all. Unsurprisingly, the world nearly ended. There will always be idiots who want to change history. Enter the Time Police. An all-powerful, international organisation tasked with keeping the timeline straight. At all costs. Their success is legendary. The Time Wars are over. But now they must fight to save a very different future - their own. This is the story of Jane, Luke and Matthew - the worst recruits in Time Police history. Or, very possibly, three young people who might change everything.

Plucked from time, Sir Thomas More arrives on the human colony of Astrobe in the year AD 2535, where there is trouble in utopia: Can he and his motley followers save this golden world from the Programmed Persons, and the soulless perfection they have engineered? The survival of faith itself is at stake in this thrilling, uncategorizable, wildly inventive first novel - but the adventure is more than one of ideas. As astonishingly as Philip K. Dick and other visionaries of the 1960s new wave, Lafferty turns the conventions of space-opera science fiction upside down and inside out.

For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. Caught on the roof of a very magical building during a storm, he's found himself back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard, especially when your time travel companion is a serial killer who knows where you live.

The Time-Traveling Teapot Book Three in THE FELIX BUMBLESNAP MISADVENTURES Series When an ordinary tea break becomes an extraordinary crisis, it's just another Tuesday at Quantum Labs. Dr. Felix Bumblesnap—scientific genius, chaos enthusiast, and creator of accidentally sentient appliances—is back with his most reality-threatening invention yet: a quantum-entangled teapot that brews the perfect cup of Earl Grey by harvesting tea from multiple points in history simultaneously. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, naturally. When Felix's latest "minor calibration" tears holes in the ...

There’s a voodoo woman in New Orleans who knows your darkest secrets French Quarter paranormal investigator Wyatt Thomas learns he’s permanently linked to the spirit of a man with whom he’d fought a duel during another lifetime. The only person who can free Wyatt from his curse is long-dead voodoo queen Marie Laveaux. To seek her help, he must travel back to Antebellum New Orleans, succeed in his endeavor, or be trapped in the past forever. When Wyatt meets his former lover at the Mulatto Ball, he doesn’t know if he wants to return. While Wyatt is time traveling, detective Tony ...

Light is almost everywhere, but what is it, really? How does it work? What does it experience as it zips along at the universe's ultimate speed limit? Light features heavily in this, the 8th book in the Voided Man series. Alan Franklin, who was once known as Maestro, narrates the volume. In Book 8 we learn... Of Alan's early years in the City... Of what's been happening with Andromeda and others back on the Potato... More about what the society made up of quadrillions of humans in the distant future is like... What happened when Banner Dawson found Pioneer 10 past the orbit of Pluto... All ...

The alien invasion was the least of anybody's problems. Out of the blue, a strange alien mothership appears in the sky. At first, it just hangs there, making no apparent attempts to communicate with the people of Earth. But pretty soon the White House is a hole in the ground, and glowing translucent spheres are abducting people from the streets. In order to avert further disaster, Satan, former King on Hell but now exiled on Earth, teams up with his best buddy and travel back to Hell to get a piece of tech that could send the aliens packing. But little do they know that the aliens, the ...

News alert! It has just been discovered that there are NO MORE TACOS left anywhere in the world. This is a huge problem because, as you know, dragons love tacos. If only there was a way for the dragons to travel back in time, to before tacos went extinct. Then they could grab lots of tacos and bring them back! It’s the perfect plan, as long as there’s no spicy salsa. You remember what happened last time....

So you’ve fallen through a wormhole and landed in the world’s greatest empire—minus running water, antibiotics, or basic human-rights laws. Relax. This snark-powered handbook shows you how to stay alive long enough to brag about it back home. Inside you’ll learn: Instant Street Smarts – Navigate gladiator mobs, tavern scams, and chariot traffic like a born-and-bred Roman. Blend-In Blueprint – Master toga etiquette, dining dos and don’ts (yes, the garum smells), and why you should never call a senator “dude.” Health & Hygiene Hacks – Outsmart plague, parasites, and public...

When Finn is saved from the Time Rangers by an older version of himself, it comes with a catch. Old Man Finn needs Finn and his friends, Lincoln and Julep, to help him win battles he lost years ago against the Paradox, a terrible creatures obsessed with revenge against Finn's father. If they succeed, he promises to tell Finn where his father is. He even gives them a pair of time-traveling pajamas to help them with their quest. There's only one problem. The pajamas malfunction almost immediately.

James Gleick's story begins at the turn of the 20th century, with the young H. G. Wells writing and rewriting the fantastic tale that became his first book, an international sensation: The Time Machine. A host of forces were converging to transmute the human understanding of time, some philosophical and some technological - the electric telegraph, the steam railroad, the discovery of buried civilizations, and the perfection of clocks.

King Arthur's sitting on the British throne, but not everyone's buying the whole “Once and Future King" schtick. Apparently, what he needs to shut up the doubters is the Dark Blade. You know, the one. Massive sword which is oddly stuck in a rock, guarded by a soggy woman handing out weaponry like it’s the prize in a raffle. (Seriously, who came up with this system?)

A 1937 vintage camper trailer half hidden in weeds catches Lynne McBriar's eye when she is visiting an elderly friend, Ben. Ben eagerly sells it to her and she just as eagerly embarks on a restoration. But after each remodel, sleeping in the trailer lands Lynne and her daughter Dinah in a previous decade - exciting, yet frightening. Glimpses of their home town and ancestors 50 or 60 years earlier is exciting and also offers some clues to the mystery of Ben's lost love.

I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans.

After Hank Morgan of Hartford, Connecticut, takes a blow to the head, he inexplicably awakens in sixth-century Camelot. At first lost and confused, the time traveler soon realizes that he can use modern knowledge and his ability to foretell the future to his advantage. Consequently, he is granted a place in the king’s court as Arthur’s right-hand man. When the Catholic Church grows fearful of his power, the Connecticut Yankee aims higher and concocts a grandiose plan to bring American ideals to sixth-century England to change the future.