Scottish Humor

The seal on the spell that’s been keeping my Fae side in check is due to break tonight at midnight… And I’m set to marry a man I don’t really know, and what I do know of him, I don’t particularly like. All because some stupid prophecy (from before I was even born) proclaimed as much. Talk about a crappy deal… With my Fae powers set to take over and the threat of becoming the Queen of the Winter Court becoming all too real, I find myself stuck at the bar of the Half-Moon Grill in a full-blown pity party. In walks Maverick, a bounty hunter who occasionally works for me and who’s...

A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.

The brilliant Alexander McCall Smith became an international sensation with his New York Times best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels. His award-winning wit, made famous through that series, is fully on display in 44 Scotland Street.

Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f****n junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total f***n embarrassment tae the selfish, f****d-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.

Hi, my name is Lydia, and I’m a gypsy. Or, I was a gypsy. Now, I’m not really sure what I am. What I do know is that I’m in trouble. That’s the reason why I’m in the process of moving to Haven Hollow: because I need the safety and protection only a hollow can offer. After a witch named Indigo walked into my occult shop and literally blew up, her soul affixed itself to mine, and now I’m basically possessed. To make matters worse? Whoever was responsible for Indigo going ‘boom’ knows she’s not exactly dead and gone. Which means he’s now after me. As if I didn’t have ...

Twenty years ago Emma Michaels, Mackenzie Hayes, and Serena Stockton bonded over their New York City dreams. Then, each summer, they solidified their friendship by spending one week at the lake together, solving their problems over bottles of wine and gallons of ice cream. They kept the tradition for years, until jealousy, lies, and life's disappointments made them drift apart. It's been five years since Emma has seen her friends, an absence designed to keep them from discovering a long-ago betrayal. Now she's in desperate need of their support.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity… Or, at least, that’s what Albert Einstein said. But I’m not sure I believe it because it seems everything in my life has gone to heck, but I have yet to find an opportunity in any of it. Things are going so bad, in fact, that I’m wondering if I’ve been cursed. Of course, I don’t really have any enemies, so who in the world would want to curse me? Not only that, but Wanda insists I’m not cursed so maybe this bad luck is just exactly that… bad luck? Well, one thing I do know is that life would be a whole heck of a lot easier if I ...

I got 99 problems, but the witch ain’t one of ‘em… Right. First problem? Maverick and his bad attitude are going to cause the death of me. Thank God he’s got Taliyah to keep him somewhat sane because otherwise, I’d start pulling my hair out. Not only is Maverick cramping my style big time, but then there’s the fact that I have to pretend that I’ve been turned into a vampire, so going out in the daytime is no longer a possibility. And try being High Witch to your coven when you can only come out at night… Meanwhile, I’m doing my very best to get Imani to join our ranks, and...

The cold touch of winter has hit Haven Hollow… Something naughty is plaguing the mundanes of Haven Hollow lately. ‘Naughty’ as in dancing curses that leave the victim exhausted and even injured, every milk product in town souring for no apparent reason, and elf-knots that are nearly impossible to brush out of your hair… After deciding these curses are fae created, we call in Prince Reynard, the Prince of the Autumn Court, otherwise known as Fox Aspen. The only problem? Fox is currently waging his own war with our Chief of Police, Taliyah, who is meant to be Fox’s intended but ...

I got me a date with Death… When Marty Zack shows up at my office at Spook Society, asking for my help, I dunno what to think. See, Marty and me… well, we’re at cross purposes when it comes to ghosties—I like to help the dead move on at their own speed, and Marty’s more like an uptight landlord kicking them to the curb. So, when Marty tells me the spooks of Haven Hollow have been disappearing for no good reason, and he needs my help to find out why, I gotta wonder what in the heck is going on. With the deceased Cain Morgan at my side (actually, it’s more fittin’ to say—...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! Something Wicked to Haven Hollow Comes... At least, I hope it’s not wicked. What is it? A book. But it’s not like any book you’ve ever heard of or seen before. First off, it’s animated, and I swear it acts like a little dog, complete with a wagging red bookmark tail. Secondly, the only person who can read it or see any of the pictures within the ancient and worn leather binding is my thirteen-year-old son, Finn. The book, which Finn names ‘Vellum,’ randomly shows up ...

Widower Hamish Wilson couldn't be more content with his life. He loves living in the beautiful Highland village of Aberboyne, he loves his rescue dog, Trevor, and he loves spending time at Glenduff Castle, carrying out research for the book he's writing. Which is why, when his daughter sets about making plans for him to emigrate to Australia with her and her husband, he really doesn't want to go. How to escape the move Down Under, however, isn't Hamish's only problem. He'd imagined that the filming of a blockbuster movie at the Castle would be nothing more than an inconvenience to his ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! It’s two days until Halloween in Haven Hollow and Astrid is feeling the holiday blues. After being kicked out of her coven, the young witch is missing the holiday festivities she’s grown up with, and she’s also upset about a boy. Not to mention she’s perplexed over the subject of what she should gift to Wanda for the most important night of the witching calendar (known as ‘Samhain’). When Astrid’s ne’er-do-well brother, Maverick, reaches out, Astrid is over the ...

When Ollie Sweet is very publicly dumped by ‘The One’, his seemingly perfect world dissolves into misery, self-pity, and a bizarre rooftop meeting with a suicidal man in flip-flops. While most would seek out the support of loved ones at such a torrid time, natural-born journalist Ollie asks the subscribers of his website: how did they get over their failed relationships? When Ollie follows some of their more extreme advice, chaos inevitably ensues.

Something is up with Lorcan. And I’m fairly sure I’m not just imagining things—he’s been distracted, working later than usual, appears exhausted, and was that vanilla perfume I smelled on him? Regardless of what’s going on with the undead nuisance, I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Namely, I’ve been pinpointed as the main suspect in a murder! I know—as if I have the time or the interest to kill someone. Ridiculous. Anyway, before this situation gets any worse, I need to prove my innocence, stat. Just how am I going to do that? Stick around and find out…

In this addition to a New York Times bestselling mystery series, Sergeant Hamish Macbeth—Scotland's most quick-witted but unambitious policeman—investigates the disappearance of a local woman who is more than she seems. Kate Hibbert is all too eager to lend a hand to her neighbors. Although...

Being possessed is no walk in the park. Especially when the roommate in your head happens to be a witch that a lot of people want dead—as in the ‘doornail’ sort of dead. Indigo Hallewell, the witch within me, is the exact reason I very nearly met my fate once already. I was able to narrowly escape that debacle owing to my very sexy guardian, Angelo, who also happens to be an incubus. And in case you aren’t sure what an incubus is—it’s a sex demon. Right. I’m literally shacked up with a sex demon. Only this one seems to have a conscience—maybe that’s the reason he hasn’t ...

Everything’s just going to pieces… I got me a real important job. Important because I need to make my boss, Mr. Howard, happy with me like yesterday. It’s no secret that Mr. Howard has never liked me, but if he fires me? Well, I’m sure that will mean the end of Cain Morgan’s ghost taking up residency inside my head. See, Cain shares my body all because he’s supposed to be helping Taliyah settle into her job as the new Chief of Police. And though Taliyah’s pretty well settled by now (by my way of thinking), no one’s said anything about moving Cain on to the other side. And I ...

It's the most anticipated event of the decade—Big Lou and Fat Bob's wedding—and everyone is invited! But the relative peace and tranquillity of 44 Scotland Street is about to be disrupted. Domineering Irene is set to return for a two-month stay, consigning young Bertie to a summer camp. Not content with that, she somehow manages to come between the enigmatic nun, Sister Maria-Fiore dei Fiori di Montagna, and her friend, the hagiographer, Antonia Collie.

A horror from Ellie's past is back and death follows. Ellie, Gavin and the team must find this killer quickly before he gets them or someone they love. This is the sixth instalment of the DCI Ellie McVey series set in Glasgow.