Scottish Humor

The seal on the spell that’s been keeping my Fae side in check is due to break tonight at midnight… And I’m set to marry a man I don’t really know, and what I do know of him, I don’t particularly like. All because some stupid prophecy (from before I was even born) proclaimed as much. Talk about a crappy deal… With my Fae powers set to take over and the threat of becoming the Queen of the Winter Court becoming all too real, I find myself stuck at the bar of the Half-Moon Grill in a full-blown pity party. In walks Maverick, a bounty hunter who occasionally works for me and who’s...

A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.

Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f****n junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total f***n embarrassment tae the selfish, f****d-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.

The brilliant Alexander McCall Smith became an international sensation with his New York Times best-selling No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency novels. His award-winning wit, made famous through that series, is fully on display in 44 Scotland Street.

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! It’s two days until Halloween in Haven Hollow and Astrid is feeling the holiday blues. After being kicked out of her coven, the young witch is missing the holiday festivities she’s grown up with, and she’s also upset about a boy. Not to mention she’s perplexed over the subject of what she should gift to Wanda for the most important night of the witching calendar (known as ‘Samhain’). When Astrid’s ne’er-do-well brother, Maverick, reaches out, Astrid is over the ...

A hilarious look at what happens when a golf society goes wrong. Full of outlandish characters and genuine scottish humour.

Twenty years ago Emma Michaels, Mackenzie Hayes, and Serena Stockton bonded over their New York City dreams. Then, each summer, they solidified their friendship by spending one week at the lake together, solving their problems over bottles of wine and gallons of ice cream. They kept the tradition for years, until jealousy, lies, and life's disappointments made them drift apart. It's been five years since Emma has seen her friends, an absence designed to keep them from discovering a long-ago betrayal. Now she's in desperate need of their support.

MAVERICK: I might have been a crappy excuse for a big brother in the past, but now I’m making up for lost time… And time isn’t the only thing that’s lost. So is my sister, Astrid. So, I do what any good brother would do—I go after her. Concealing my true identity, I attend Blood Rose Academy as a professor of potions. And along for the ride is my new wife, Taliyah. Not only am I hoping we can find Astrid, but I’m really hoping we find her alive. ASTRID: Even though I definitely have a thing for vampires, that doesn’t mean I wanted to become one… And it definitely didn’t ...

Something is up with Lorcan. And I’m fairly sure I’m not just imagining things—he’s been distracted, working later than usual, appears exhausted, and was that vanilla perfume I smelled on him? Regardless of what’s going on with the undead nuisance, I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Namely, I’ve been pinpointed as the main suspect in a murder! I know—as if I have the time or the interest to kill someone. Ridiculous. Anyway, before this situation gets any worse, I need to prove my innocence, stat. Just how am I going to do that? Stick around and find out…

Spending a week in the Scottish Highlands with her ex-husband and his nubile new girlfriend is not Lucy Manley’s idea of fun. However, when she’s invited to Glenduff Castle to celebrate her beloved parents-in-law’s golden wedding anniversary, she really can’t refuse. Accompanied by her sulky sixteen-year-old daughter and her testosterone-fuelled son, Lucy is dreading the whole thing. But, once in the stunning Highlands, it soon becomes apparent that all is not well between her ex and his new partner. And with a very handsome member of staff paying her lots of attention, Lucy begins ...

Hi, my name is Lydia, and I’m a gypsy. Or, I was a gypsy. Now, I’m not really sure what I am. What I do know is that I’m in trouble. That’s the reason why I’m in the process of moving to Haven Hollow: because I need the safety and protection only a hollow can offer. After a witch named Indigo walked into my occult shop and literally blew up, her soul affixed itself to mine, and now I’m basically possessed. To make matters worse? Whoever was responsible for Indigo going ‘boom’ knows she’s not exactly dead and gone. Which means he’s now after me. As if I didn’t have ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! Something Wicked to Haven Hollow Comes... At least, I hope it’s not wicked. What is it? A book. But it’s not like any book you’ve ever heard of or seen before. First off, it’s animated, and I swear it acts like a little dog, complete with a wagging red bookmark tail. Secondly, the only person who can read it or see any of the pictures within the ancient and worn leather binding is my thirteen-year-old son, Finn. The book, which Finn names ‘Vellum,’ randomly shows up ...

The Porridge Eaters of Strathclyde A Highland Romance Like No Other! For generations, the McSporrans and the Oatbanes have been at war over the one true way to eat porridge—thick and salted or smooth and honeyed. The feud has raged for centuries, with oatcakes used as weapons and spurtles wielded like swords. But when Fenella McSporran, a fiery lass with a stirring arm strong enough to take down a charging bull, finds herself falling for the enemy, scandal erupts like a pot left to boil over. Hamish Oatbane, a rogueishly handsome warrior with biceps carved from years of porridge-stirring,...

I got me a date with Death… When Marty Zack shows up at my office at Spook Society, asking for my help, I dunno what to think. See, Marty and me… well, we’re at cross purposes when it comes to ghosties—I like to help the dead move on at their own speed, and Marty’s more like an uptight landlord kicking them to the curb. So, when Marty tells me the spooks of Haven Hollow have been disappearing for no good reason, and he needs my help to find out why, I gotta wonder what in the heck is going on. With the deceased Cain Morgan at my side (actually, it’s more fittin’ to say—...

It's the most anticipated event of the decade—Big Lou and Fat Bob's wedding—and everyone is invited! But the relative peace and tranquillity of 44 Scotland Street is about to be disrupted. Domineering Irene is set to return for a two-month stay, consigning young Bertie to a summer camp. Not content with that, she somehow manages to come between the enigmatic nun, Sister Maria-Fiore dei Fiori di Montagna, and her friend, the hagiographer, Antonia Collie.

Everything’s just going to pieces… I got me a real important job. Important because I need to make my boss, Mr. Howard, happy with me like yesterday. It’s no secret that Mr. Howard has never liked me, but if he fires me? Well, I’m sure that will mean the end of Cain Morgan’s ghost taking up residency inside my head. See, Cain shares my body all because he’s supposed to be helping Taliyah settle into her job as the new Chief of Police. And though Taliyah’s pretty well settled by now (by my way of thinking), no one’s said anything about moving Cain on to the other side. And I ...

Sergeant Hamish Macbeth—Scotland's most quick-witted but unambitious policeman—is back and may have finally met the woman of his dreams in this new mystery in M.C. Beaton's beloved, New York Times bestselling series. Hamish's new constable, Dorothy McIver, may be the most beautiful woman...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! When my son, Finn, freaks out after seeing a stranger peering in through his window, I have a feeling something wicked this way comes. Unfortunately, it’s not long before reports of the same peeping tom come pouring in from all around Haven Hollow, but no one knows who this guy is or what he wants. And, when my good friend Henner reports a disturbance in his home, the Tayir Mansion, that culminates with the disappearance of his housekeeper and a room full of bloody handprints, I...

Lucy’s life is a mess. Will a reality TV show about love set in a beautiful Scottish castle help her find some answers or cause even more heartache and problems? Lucy’s life is a mess. It’s official. Her ex just walked out on his wedding, telling everyone it’s because he’s still in love with Lucy. Now, she’s on the town’s most hated list, even though she’s the innocent party in this whole dreadful wedding day fiasco. Desperate for a place to escape to while the dust dies down, Lucy gets the chance to stay in a luxury castle in the Scottish Highlands - for free. The catch? ...

Widower Hamish Wilson couldn't be more content with his life. He loves living in the beautiful Highland village of Aberboyne, he loves his rescue dog, Trevor, and he loves spending time at Glenduff Castle, carrying out research for the book he's writing. Which is why, when his daughter sets about making plans for him to emigrate to Australia with her and her husband, he really doesn't want to go. How to escape the move Down Under, however, isn't Hamish's only problem. He'd imagined that the filming of a blockbuster movie at the Castle would be nothing more than an inconvenience to his ...