Pirate Humor

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee Jimmy Buffett offers his philosophy on life and how to live it, “like sitting with Buffett at a beachside bar, listening to him spin tales” (Time). “Buffett took his family on a three-week trek around the Caribbean...

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Mummy in Vengeance of the Pirate Queen, a new standalone YA fantasy romance, set in the world of Tricia Levenseller's Daughter of the Pirate King. As an assassin working for the pirate queen, 18-year-old Sorinda is surprised when Alosa’s next task for her is...

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

Smugglers. Thieves. Pirates. The Sea Rover's crew embodies these defining qualities. Immerse yourself in a Science Fiction Adventure box set written by author C.P. MacDonald. Witness Captain Calin Aku's evolution from the most wanted outlaw on the Moon to an unexpected if reluctant hero. Job by job, paycheck by paycheck, he keeps flying. However, with a new client comes a cascade of adventure, forging unusual alliances and unraveling amazing mysteries. These revelations don't just alter the lives of Calin and his crew but also reshape humanity's future. Join Calin Aku and his crew as they ...

"Marisa Calin's delivery of this audiobook is superbly executed...The enticing voice she gives Alosa will enrapture listeners and draw them deeper into the story's twists and turns." — AudioFile Magazine The capable, confident, and occasionally ruthless heroine of Daughter of the Pirate King...

Rob Morgan, a network engineer from that sprawling metropolis called Omaha, Nebraska, is going about his jaded, everyday life until a group of men in black suits yanks him from his best friend’s wedding and drops him into a totally-not-government-wink-wink black-site defense project. One accidental misstep later into a wormhole, he ends up in the year 1700 during the Golden Age of Piracy, finding himself thrust into a world of cannon fire, sword fights, treasure maps, and men in serious need of better hygiene.

Yet another brilliant entry in Kenemore’s zombie canon - Cap’n Hook meets the undead. Set in the Caribbean of the eighteenth century, the epicenter of piracy, voodoo, and the dark arts, The Code of the Zombie Pirate reveals all the secrets to selecting, customizing, and managing a motley crew of pirates-cum-zombies.

In the second book of the suspense-filled Gentleman Bastard Sequence, hailed by George R. R. Martin as “fresh, original, and engrossing,” Locke Lamora faces a caper so death-defying that nothing short of a miracle will pull it off. For some, only a prize worth dying for makes life worth...

1721. The slave trade ravages the West Coast of Africa. With his world turned upside down, and disillusioned with family and society, Dan Leake, now 16, gets together a disparate group of ex-pirates and runaway slaves. With this motley crew, Dan steals a ship and they flee from Jamaica. They sail to the coast of Africa where they plan to disrupt the African slave trade and get rich at the same time. Pursued by the navies of the powerful slaving nations, and hunted by vengeful pirates, Dan and his followers are forced from the Atlantic. Rounding the stormy Cape of Good Hope, they sail into ...

1719. Great Britain is at war with Spain. When his mother dies, fourteen year old Dan Leake finds himself alone on the mean streets of Bristol. Faced with starvation or the workhouse, he stows away on a British man-o-war, hoping to find his father who had been pressed into the Royal Navy years before. Falsely accused of theft, Dan is shunned by his shipmates and bullied by the sadistic bosun, as he endures the brutal life aboard an eighteenth century warship. He finally discovers the real thief, and his courage, at the bloody Battle of Cape St. Vincent. At his moment of triumph, he realises...

Dart Luck (Jax Dart, Space Bastard Book 1) When your ship’s called The Lucky Bastard, you know luck has nothing to do with it. Meet Captain Jax Dart—a hard-drinking, womanizing, drug-loving, gambling-addicted lesbian with a knack for making terrible decisions and somehow surviving them. At the helm of her barely spaceworthy mining ship, The Lucky Bastard, Jax and her dysfunctional crew scrape out a living mining asteroids for faceless megacorporations who’d rather see them dead than paid. Her crew is a disaster: Zorblax, an alien drunk who insists antifreeze is a delicacy. Rob, a ...

Aurelia Resupply Station 5 should have been the perfect hiding place. No one would expect me to join a friend on a work trip to the edge of known space. And the charity date auction she’s running may be a little ridiculous, but it’s for a good cause, so I throw myself into helping. But when I spot someone from my past in the crowd, I panic and bid on the most dangerous-looking guy on the stage. If anyone could take out David’s guys, it’s this alien pirate. Soon, I’m stuck on an awkward date with the big Araced, and I instantly regret my impulsive choice, especially when people ...

Jax Dart, Space Bastard: Pirates of the Lagrange Belt A Queer Sci-Fi Comedy of Space Pirates, Old Flames, and Bad Decisions Gone Worse Captain Jax Dart just wanted a quiet week mining asteroids, drinking cheap whiskey, and avoiding her mounting debt to the Galactic Loan Union. Instead, her ship gets hijacked by the most flamboyant pirate crew in the quadrant—led by her smoking-hot ex-lover, Vera Kincaid. Vera still carries a torch… and a grudge. She’s out for payback, plunder, and maybe another night with Jax—though not necessarily in that order. As Jax schemes to seduce, bluff, and...

Gary the Stegosaurus wants to be a pirate. But when he gets the chance, things do not work out. Getting seasick is the least of Gary's worries once he's on that ship!

Forget dusty textbooks and heroic legends — history was usually a lot messier than the souvenir-shop version. If you think you know the real stories behind pirates, Vikings, the American Revolution, and the Wild West… Hollywood has probably lied to you. Sarcastic History Volume 2 takes on four of history’s most romanticized eras and starts asking inconvenient questions. Were pirates really burying treasure everywhere? Did Vikings wear horned helmets? Was the American Revolution one long inspirational speech? And did everyone in the Wild West settle arguments at high noon? Not exactly....

The "famouse" reporter appears on a TV game show to save his newspaper and joins his sister on a haunted pirate treasure hunt in this pair of exciting adventures.

Set in the years around 1492, Yiddish for Pirates recounts the compelling story of Moishe, a Bar Mitzvah boy who leaves home to join a ship's crew, where he meets Aaron, the polyglot parrot who becomes his near-constant companion. From a present-day Florida nursing home, this wisecracking yet poetic bird guides us through a world of pirate ships, Yiddish jokes, and treasure maps. But Inquisition Spain is a dangerous time to be Jewish and Moishe joins a band of hidden Jews trying to preserve some forbidden books.

An all-new unofficial Minecraft warrior adventure series for young readers from bestselling author Cube Kid! This story follows Runt, a villager who longs to be a warrior. He isn’t interested in carrot culture, and he definitely isn’t interested in selling them in trade. When Runt decides to...

1720. The Golden Age of Piracy.After setting out to look for his press-ganged father, fifteen-year old Dan Leake finds himself clinging to a barrel in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. His luck changes when a passing ship saves him from a watery grave, but his joy is short-lived. He soon discovers that his rescuers are not what they seem.Dan is forced to join Calico Jack’s blood-thirsty crew, which includes Anne Bonny and Mary Read. He faces death on a daily basis as they career around the Caribbean lurching from one hair-raising adventure to another. At last he reaches Jamaica, where he ...